It’s all so well designed and not the least bit what I expected to find. What should a bachelor’s bedroom consist of anyway? Neon beer signs? Naked pillows? An old Playboy?
I walk farther inside, toward the balcony doors.
I glance back at Ben, who’s still hovering near the threshold. “This is so nice.”
He nods. “I had help when we built the house. I didn’t pick out much, but I like how it all came together.”
“Where do the doors lead?”
“Out to a private courtyard. When it’s quiet you can hear the fountain out there.”
A laugh tumbles out of me before I can help it.
Ben glances at me curiously, and I shrug, helpless. “I’m just imagining you living here and then visiting that trailer of mine back in Texas.”
I cover my face with my hands and shake my head. It’s hard to even compare the two. You can’t!
“A home’s a home, right?” Ben says earnestly. “I seem to remember being really happy in that trailer.”
His words are tinged with suggestion, and slowly, I drop my hands and face him. He’s watching me with furrowed brows, memories swimming in his warm gaze.
I know he’s imagining us together on that tiny bed, and he’s right—it didn’t really matter where we were. His car. That trailer. The counter at Dale’s. We didn’t mind one bit.
I wrap my arm around my stomach, grabbing hold of my waist.
Ben watches me, his gaze gentle on my body. He hasn’t moved from the door. Something’s stopping him.
I tilt my head in invitation, trying to coax the words out of him.
He sighs and rubs the back of his neck, a flash of frustration crossing his features.
“I didn’t expect that outside of the club. It’s not always like that. Word must have gotten out since most of the team was there.”
I stay quiet, sensing that he’s not done.
“That was reckless. Meeting you there, like that. Since having Caleb, I don’t…shit, even before Caleb…” He shakes his head and pivots, his tone sharper as he continues, “This life isn’t easy, and there are downsides. Anyone I keep close will suffer consequences from being with me. Things I have no control over. Driving you here…seeing those guys tailing us…”
His hands fist at his sides, finishing his thought for him, and my heart breaks.
It occurs to me that my shock and surprise and silence have worn on him. He’s worried about what I’m thinking, and honestly, I don’t have a good answer for that. What happened just now wasn’t normal by any stretch of the imagination and I’m not sure what this all means for me and my life, but right now, I just want to add it to the pile of problems we already have, problems for the light of day. Because now that I’m here, looking at Ben in this quiet room away from the chaos, it almost feels like nothing else matters.
Nothing could convince me to walk away from him in this moment.
The power he wields…
If he only knew.
I start to walk toward him, keeping my eyes on him until we’re close enough that I can rest my hands on his broad chest. It’s been so long since we’ve been alone like this, and I can’t resist any longer. I wanted to kiss him in the club and I didn’t. I wanted to kiss him on so many lonely nights and I couldn’t. So I press up onto my toes and press my lips gently to his. My courage doesn’t last long. I pull back, my eyes fluttering open just in time for him to lean down and kiss me again. His arms circle my waist, hauling me up against him so swiftly I nearly lose my breath.
He kisses me slowly, intimately, with feeling. He takes my bottom lip in his teeth, and impatience grows as our mouths collide and flames blaze. He’s so tall, so overpowering I feel overwhelmed at times, but he lets me take the lead for a moment as my hands trail up his arms and neck, tangling in his hair. I tilt my head and kiss him deeper. His tongue touches mine, and a shudder racks through me. Then his arms tighten around my waist and he picks me up, walking us toward his bed. He sits down on the edge and I slide down onto his lap, straddling his hips. My jean shorts ride up with the help of his fingers. He slides his palms back and around, gripping underneath the denim, using his hands to tug me up so I can rock against his hardness.
His moan feeds me and I kiss him harder, tasting and taking and still wanting.
He grips my hips and guides me back and forth on his lap, slowly rocking forward and backward, driving us both insane. His hands squeeze my backside and he inhales sharply. Then he draws back suddenly, dragging in a heavy breath, steeling himself as his brown eyes open and his gaze meets mine.
“I’m sorry,” he says again, standing and setting me delicately back on my feet.
I must look like a gaping fish.
“I thought we were…”
He rubs the back of his neck, and there’s an unfamiliar touch of color on his cheekbones. “It’s been a long night for you, Birdie.”
I want to argue, but then he reaches up to smooth the tension between my brows, dragging his finger down my cheek, and my eyelids blink long and heavy. The desire coursing through me doesn’t have the staying power compared to how exhausted I feel. The anxiety of the day takes its toll as Ben stands there, appreciating me.
“I could sleep where I stand, but I feel grimy from that club.”
“Let me draw you a bath,” he suggests with tender care.
“It’s okay. I’ll just take a quick shower. I worry I’ll fall asleep if I take a bath.”
He nods and leads me into the bathroom off the main suite. It’s decadent and peaceful, cool white marble floors paired with warm oak vanities. The shower could fit three or four people. Same with the bath. Ben adjusts the hot water for me in the shower then walks back over to his side of the sink so he can bend down and open the cabinet to reach for a small bag.
When he walks back over and hands it to me, I realize it’s a bag of toiletries meant for a woman, and despite knowing the kind of man Ben is, I still wonder why he’d keep something like this around. Is there a rotation of women needing to wash their face at his house?
I don’t ask this aloud, but Ben still throws me a bone.
“My housekeeper, Nina, thinks of everything. I think she hopes…”
He clears his throat.
I look up to see him frowning at the bag in my hand.
“She wants someone to have to use it,” he finishes, sounding annoyed. “She pesters me about being alone.”
“And I’m the first?”
He looks over, and his brown eyes seem just as alluring as the first time I met him. “There hasn’t been anyone since I left Texas.”
His confession strikes me. It’s the last thing I expected. I was at the club tonight; I saw the way women react to Ben. The glamour of this life is so appealing to so many. I’m surprised he’d go a single day without sex, much less a year and a half.
“Because you’ve been busy?”
He nods. “With Caleb, with basketball, yes.”
Understandable.
“And also, I wasn’t interested in pursuing other women.”
I try and fail to hold eye contact with him. The kisses we just shared were intimate, yes, but this feels different…harder.
He sighs with his confession, like it took a great deal of courage to admit, and then he turns to leave the bathroom. “Shower, relax. Please take whatever you’d like from my closet when you’re finished.”