It was surreal.
Right there on the screen, there I was, dressed up to look exactly like Mario, a white sticker with a red M stuck to my red helmet. Rachel was just behind me, wearing green where I wore red, the perfect Luigi. Lee gave a skip and a twirl as Princess Peach, and Ashton jumped into the air, pounding it with a fist to yell “Woohoo!” in a scarily accurate imitation of Yoshi.
Amanda came next, beating her big gorilla chest as Donkey Kong. Levi strode after her, a leaner, less squat version of Wario, Jon ambling behind him as Bowser.
I did a double take as I got to my kart.
Where the hell was Warren?
I looked back at our group and the empty kart, and by the time I was turning back to the screen I saw for myself: Toad was running out of the bleachers, giant head wobbling. But it wasn’t Warren in the costume.
Noah?
I glanced back at Lee, who looked just as confused as I felt. He shrugged.
Maybe he’d had a change of heart after all and realized just what he was missing out on. I hoped Warren wouldn’t be too mad about missing out.
(And I hoped Noah wouldn’t flip over in his kart and break something. He hadn’t signed a form, and the last thing I needed was the water park suing us.)
“Racers!” Tyrone, our old school council president and commentator for the day, yelled over a microphone. “Take your marks!”
We all got into our karts, some with a little more difficulty than others. There was a crackle in my ear as the microphones and earpieces in our helmets came online.
Lee’s voice crackled through, drowning out the cheering crowd. “Princess to Plunger One, Princess to Plunger One, chhh, we are a go for race day. I repeat, we are a go for race day!”
“This is Donkey Kong to Princess, DK to PP, you don’t need to make the chhh noise.”
“Plunger Two to Donkey Kong, let it be noted that my boyfriend will make the chhh noise if he wants to.”
Rachel’s comment was met with a series of chhhs from the rest of us, mimicking radio static and dissolving into giggles. I collected myself, flexing my fingers around my steering wheel.
A buzz sounded across the track. A red light lit up, hanging over us.
“Plunger One to Toad, what’s with the change of heart?”
“What, I can’t support my girlfriend?”
“This is Bowser. Plunger One, Toad, take your relationship drama off the track. This is a race, not Pride and Prejudice.”
Before either I or Noah could bite back, or anybody else could make a jibe over the radio, the buzzer sounded again, and an amber light showed up. I caught my breath, inhaling sharply, suddenly hyper-focused.
Lee and Elle’s Epic Summer Bucket List
19. Do a real-life Mario Kart race
Tick, complete.
One more buzz.
Green light.
I floored it. Our karts swung to life, engines growling furiously. I was vaguely aware of Jon Fletcher cursing down the headsets, his kart stalled at the first post—but I was already yanking on the wheel, twisting around the first bend in the course.
Lee’s kart drew up beside me. I saw him raise a red balloon. “Enjoying first position, Shelly?”
“Princess Peach, you don’t have to yell when we have headsets, chhh, over,” Ashton/Yoshi told him with a laugh.
As Lee raised his balloon, a blue one soared forward, smacking into the back of his helmet and smearing green slime everywhere. He howled, dropping his own balloon and drenching himself in water as it burst on his lap.
He fell back and Rachel/Luigi took his place.
I narrowed my eyes, trying to focus on the track while fumbling in my foot well for a can of silly string I could hear rattling around.
There was grunting over the radio. Cussing, muttering.
I took the corner too quickly, skidding around. By the time I righted myself, I was in fifth position. Jon Fletcher was still lagging behind in last place, his giant Bowser suit weighing him down. Ashton/Yoshi had fallen back, and Amanda/Donkey Kong was just edging out in front of me. I gripped my can of silly string.
But then a black water balloon burst against Amanda’s helmet, whipped cream exploding out, splattering across her face and the car, making her shriek. “Who did that? Who did that? Fear the wrath of Donkey Kong!”
“Woohoo!” Ashton/Yoshi yelled, punching the air again as he shot past both me and a whipped-cream-covered Amanda/Donkey Kong. Rachel/Luigi had fallen back, too, she and Lee/Princess Peach vying for third and fourth as we started our second lap.
And out in front—
I winced as Noah’s kart smashed into Levi’s.
Levi jerked sideways, smashing right back into Noah.
Somewhere in the background, Tyrone was narrating the whole thing, talking about Wario and Toad going head-to-head in a vicious fight for first place.
Vicious was right, I thought.
I eased off the accelerator as I took a corner. Lee hit a tire, spinning out, and I managed to grab a balloon to launch at Ashton at the same moment that Rachel hurled a slightly squashed-looking red foam box back at him. I’d have missed if not for her: he swerved to avoid the box, right into the path of my water balloon. I shot out ahead of him, starting my third and final lap. Lee was now lagging somewhere in the back. Jon wasn’t far behind me.
“No fair!” Ashton cried. “The Plungers teamed up! If we’re teaming up, I want Donkey Kong and Wario on my team.”
“No teaming up!” Jon was yelling. “Plunger Two, you got any more boxes to take out Plunger One?”
I laughed, hands clenched around the wheel. “Back off, Bowser.”
Amid the giggles and shouts on the headsets, I heard “Back off, Wario.”
“Eat my dust, Shroom.”
There was a bang! a little way ahead. Levi’s and Noah’s karts crashed together again, Noah’s almost pressed into the tire wall. As they swerved across the track, Rachel yelped, jerking her kart out of the way before she crashed into them. I shot past her.
“Cool it, Toad,” Levi snapped.
“Hey, doofus, what’re you playing at?” Amanda shouted.
I could hear the smirk in Noah’s voice as he barked, “Winning!”
A water balloon flew past me. It smashed on a tire and slime spattered over Noah. He yelped and I swerved sideways before Ashton could overtake me, and—
A cheer rose through the stands as Tyrone shouted, “And we have a winner! Wario wins the match! Followed by Toad…Mario…Yoshi…Bowser…Princess Peach…Luigi…Donkey Kong!”