One area wasn't better than the other. Each had its own beauty. But her heart was pulled in two different directions, and the battle going on inside of her had started to make her miserable.
Keenan opened the back door for her. She slid past him and walked into the kitchen. Still overheated from the hot tub, she grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and took it to the living room.
As soon as Keenan entered the room, she said, "Can I write a letter and mail it to Amelia?"
"Babe..." He sat and pulled her over until she leaned against his chest. "It'll only complicate the situation. In a few days, we'll have better control of what is happening around here, and you'll be able to call her."
"You keep saying that."
"Because I mean it." He rubbed the back of her neck. "I understand it's hard for you, Grace, and you're close to your sister. But there are over a hundred lives that depend on secrecy until we can get control of the situation and make sure we're protected. That you're protected."
She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against his chest. Guilt kept her quiet. She couldn't sacrifice the lives and livelihood of so many people—a town, to talk to her sister a few days earlier than planned. When all was said and done, Amelia would have to understand—God, she hoped her sister would understand and eventually be happy for her.
Keenan strummed his thumb against the side of her breast. The tenderness he showed her brought tears to her eyes. She was an emotional wreck. Extreme highs, depressing lows. It was enough to make her go insane.
She needed to put everything in order of importance. "You're close with the men in your club."
He stilled. "When I lost my memories, and the Alpha Bio Project programmed the emotions out of me, I had no awareness of anything. But when the changes happened, I became acutely aware my MC brothers had always been at my side. They'd also gone through the same shit I'd lived through, and that makes them the closest thing I have in this fucked-up world. It's also the only time I've had others show loyalty to me."
She continued holding him, struck speechless by how jealous she found herself. He claimed to be new to dealing with the feelings he'd regained, and she'd seen the struggle when he dealt with her, but he seemed to have a good grasp on how he felt about the motorcycle club.
He put loyalty first in his life. She wondered if he included her or reserved the emotion for those who had more in common with him. And if they would always come before her.
Keenan's upper chest hardened. She raised her head, alerted to something wrong.
He moved her off him and stood, going to the window. She scooted to the edge of the couch. He'd thrown her worry about being last in his life in her face.
"We've got company." He let the curtain fall back into place and stepped toward the door. "I'll be back in a few."
"Wait." She stood. "You don't know if it's dangerous. You could get hurt."
He cocked his head. She shook her head in frustration. Would he always go headfirst into trouble?
She wanted him safe. If something were to happen, it would destroy her.
He thought of himself as invincible. A trained killer. If he wouldn't take care of himself, she'd make him see that she needed him.
"If they do something to you, what is going to stop them from coming in here and finding me?" she asked.
He frowned. "I can take care of you."
With that declaration, Keenan walked out the door. Several seconds later, a low rumble grew louder, vibrating the floor beneath her feet. She balled her fists at her sides. He'd gone outside to meet bikers from his club.
Of course, he would.
Yet, he wouldn't take two seconds to put his safety first.
She went into the kitchen and filled the sink with soapy water and set to cleaning the dirty dishes from their dinner. As she kept herself busy, her anger grew.
He was a stubborn man. An egotistical man. And completely stupid for taking a chance of going outside to meet God knew who, without any care that he could get hurt.
She bowed her head and closed her eyes. What if the men from the project tried to take him back?
She'd lose him.
The door opened, and heavy boots thunked across the floor. She straightened, wiped her cheek on her shoulder, and went back to cleaning the last plate.
"Grace?"
She rinsed her hands and turned off the faucet. Scared of what he'd have to tell her, she refused to turn around and face him.
"I need to take off."
She sighed, accepting that he would never change. His club came first.
Arms came around her, and Keenan kissed her neck. "You'll be safe. I'll lock you inside."
She clenched her teeth to keep her chin from trembling. There was nothing she could do to change his mind, and his determination to help his club would only start an argument.
"I'll be home later." He kissed her neck again and swatted her ass. "I'll wake you up when I come in."
Her heart pounded in dread. The shutting of the back door left her cold. The sliding of the padlock through the lock and clicking in place broke her heart.
There was nothing to do but wait.
Chapter Thirty One
All the originals surrounded the table in the meeting room of the clubhouse. Keenan took in the condition of each of them, knowing he had a year of recovery behind him, and the others were only beginning the journey.
Trip and Speeder were the last to show up after returning from their stay in the cabin.
He caught Speeder's gaze. Two people involved in the Alpha Bio Project were missing from the meeting.
"Where are Laurel and Trina?" he asked.
Speeder brought his hands out from under the table and set his fists on the surface. "They're both at home now. I took them there before I headed here."
"How the hell did the AB Project get their hands on them?" asked Priest.
"Laurel's my girl." Speeder rubbed his hand over his face. "I knew her before I participated in the project." He glanced at Trip, then the others. "The switch wasn't as hard on us as it was the rest of you. We were lost to each other. The project brought us back together."
"How's Trina?" asked Keenan. "She wasn't experiencing any changes when I brought her up to the cabin."
"She's scared." Speeder's mouth tightened to a thin line. "She remembers what they've done to her and her past. Now, she's afraid someone will take her from me and force her back into her old life."
Keenan leaned back in the chair. "If her mom's dead. Her worries will go away. You're the only relative she has left."
Speeder met his gaze. "She's not mine."
"Huh?" He sat straighter.
"She was raised in foster care. From what I can figure out, the project implanted her into my life. I've never been with another woman. I've been with Laurel since I was young. Trina can't be my daughter."
"This is all news to me." Prez tapped the table. "Is Trina enhanced?"
"No," answered Speeder.
"What are you going to do now? She ain't your kid. There's not blood relationship between you." Hank's leg bounced underneath the table.