“Do you now?” His long fingers stroke my cheek, tracing the line of my jaw. “If you don’t have enough to do, I’m happy to keep you busy.”
Refusing to give up so easily or let him intimidate me, I tell him the same thing I’ve been rehearsing in my head for days while I waited for the right time.
“I understand that you have all the power, and I’ve done my best to get used to my life here. But I’ve been raised to believe everyone should contribute. Work hard and earn their own way. It feels wrong not to be earning my keep.”
It’s the best spin I can put on the truth. I lower my head, not having to entirely fake the guilty look I give him.
In the Colony, everyone had a job. Everyone worked. Even the wives, who were expected to stay at home and tend to the chores and the children carried their own weight. Pastors’ wives ran events for the church and held parties, cleaned houses, or ran the choir. Anyone who didn’t pull his or her own weight was considered a leech and a sinner, someone who drained resources and had no worth.
“And I suppose that wanting employment outside of the clubhouse has nothing to do with wanting to escape?” He pinches my chin between his thumb and fingers. “How long will you be out that door before you run, hmm?”
I take a deep, calming breath. I’d expected him to say this. It’s a fair question, considering that I already tried once.
I put on my best innocent look. “I’m not asking to work so I can escape.”
I hate lying. My stomach clenches at the thought of deceiving him, and not all because of what he’ll do to me if he catches on.
He grins. “I wasn’t patched in yesterday, thief.”
“I know you don’t believe me, but I’m not asking so that I can run. It’s important for me to work. To have a real job, one that earns money.”
“I’m sure it is. Money which you will save and stockpile until you can hop a bus out of Nevada.”
Rats. This isn’t going well. But I still have one angle left to play.
I will my hands to stop shaking, meet his eyes with a level stare, and lay my hand over his. His is huge, warm and calloused, and capable of snapping my fingers like dried twigs.
“Spider, you told me to earn your trust. How can I do that if you never give me the chance?”
His brow raises, and for a second, I’m sure he’s seen through me. He’ll never go for it. Then the smallest curve touches the sides of his mouth. Calculating respect flashes in his eyes.
Man, suddenly I hate myself for this.
A millisecond later, his expression hardens. “You don’t need money. I give you everything you need.”
I can feel my chance of getting my life back slipping away. I see what he’s doing. He’s keeping me dependent on him. That was one of the ways the church kept us from leaving. No one ever received money that they could use to escape. That’s why all earnings went to the church, and the elders doled it out.
It’ll put a crimp in my plans not having money, but if working my way up to that is what it takes to gain my freedom and find Sarah, that’s what I’ll do. Eventually, I’ll have to hope I can convince him to turn whatever job he gives me into a paying one, otherwise I won’t get far.
I’ve seen the importance these guys place on those who are associated with the club giving something back. Dee and Monica have talked about how everything everyone does is for the good of the club. Playing on that is my last hope.
“Okay. So, don’t pay me. But I want to do more for you, and for the club. Give me a chance to show you that you can trust me.”
“For the club?” Seated beside Spider, Arson gives me a doubtful look. “Do you even know what you’re asking, girlie?”
Probably not. I still don’t fully understand the whole biker lifestyle thing. But I know what it means to pull your own weight.
“So, put me where you need me,” I say simply.
Spider watches me, saying nothing. My heart begins to speed up as I wonder if my deception shows on my face, if he can somehow sense it.
Those icy blue eyes flick to Dragon, then back to me before I can read the look he gave his superior. He picks up his glass from the table and hands it to me. “You can make yourself useful right now and refill this.”
My shoulders sag. So that’s it. My only hope of getting out of here was a job outside of Casper’s, and it’s gone. He sees me as nothing but a plaything, useful only for fulfilling his manly lusts.
Loneliness hooks itself deep, anger boiling in my blood. I grip the front of my obscenely short skirt in my fists. Any number of insults beg to be flung at him, but I can’t lose it on him now, or I’ll be back where I started. I keep my eyes down, hiding any emotion he might see, take his glass, and stand.
I’ll have to keep playing the role. The role of the captive who’s accepted her place, who knows there’s no hope of getting out, and has settled for making the best of a bad situation.
The thing is, how long before I get another chance?
“Anyone else want anything?” I force my voice to a pleasant but resigned tone, looking around at Dragon, Arson, Striker, Cap and the others.
All of them decline, except Cap.
“I’d love a beer, darlin.” He holds up his empty mug.
At the bar, I wait for Tequila to get the drinks, desperation sinking it’s hooks into me. Now what? If I can’t find another reason for Spider to let me leave Casper’s at least once, how will I get away? How will I find Sarah?
If the Colony has her, I might be the only one who can get her out just like she did for me.
Over on the couches, the guys are talking in low voices. Spider is leaning toward Dragon, who looks irritated at something.
They’re probably talking about what Monica calls club business. Half the time when I knock on a door to a room where only the men are gathered, the doors are locked and none of the server girls are allowed in except to set down food and drink. I never catch enough of the conversations to have any idea what they’re discussing, but I can feel the secrecy in the room every time I stumble on a meeting.
I’d give anything to know what those meetings are about, especially considering that Monica’s warned me never to even look like I’m listening in.
That’s the rule in this place. I hear nothing, I see nothing, she says. I get in, do my thing, and get out.
Yeah, I’d love to know what they’re always hiding, but it’s dangerous for me to even think about trying to find out.
Carrying the tray back over to the couches, I notice that men have stopped whispering, all of them sitting back as I approach.
Yep. More club business. Especially since Dragon’s watching me as if he’s wondering if I was trying to hear them.
I hand Cap his beer, and he nods his thanks.
I like Cap. He’s always got a friendly smile for me, and he’s one of the few who doesn’t look at me as if he’d love to strip my clothes off. Of course, that could be because he’s old enough to be my grandpa.
Plus he’s got that cool eye patch that makes him look like a pirate.
I walk over to Spider and hand him his glass. When I turn to leave, I fully expect him to demand his usual kiss or to pull me onto his lap.
He seizes my wrist. “Not so fast. Come here.” He nods to the floor.