He looks at me in confusion. “I was calling your name. You didn’t hear me?”
“Oh.” My face falls. “You were?”
“Yeah. I tried to flag you down.”
I take off my mittens, rubbing my suddenly warm face from the heat of embarrassment. “Sorry, I was distracted.”
“Why?” He cocks his head to the side, seeming the tiniest bit worried. The genuine concern does something to my heart.
“One of your groupies cornered me in the library.”
“Groupies?” He chuckles, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He’s wearing a light brown beanie, dark strands of his hair poking out from beneath, and a gray sweatshirt clings to his muscular form.
“That’s what I’m calling her. She’s gunning for the position.”
“What position?”
“Forget girlfriend, she wants to skip straight to wife.”
“Ah.” He leans back on his heels. “She’s threatened by you. Did you catch her name?”
“Didn’t ask.” I adjust my backpack straps, my shoulders already aching from the weight as we move up in line. “Have you slept with everyone on this campus, though?” I hiss under my breath, my words laced with a venom I don’t expect.
He thinks about it—seriously stands there and contemplates his answer. “Not everyone. I mean, I haven’t slept with you.”
It’s the silent yet that has me lightly smacking his arm with the back of my hand. Teddy laughs uproariously, causing more than a few people to look in our direction. When they notice it’s Teddy, they shake their heads and go back to their business.
“I won’t be sleeping with you.” I stare straight ahead at the menu board even though I always order the exact same thing.
“Who said anything about sleeping?” he counters, the side of his arm brushing mine. The guy has zero awareness of personal space. “The things I’d like to do with you don’t include sleeping.”
If I wasn’t indebted to this dude, I’d be out the door now and I’d never look back. But the fact of the matter is, I’m in this for the long haul after what he did for me, so that means dealing with his crude sense of humor.
“You’re incorrigible.”
“It’s true since I’d like to be inside of you.”
“Oh my God.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “How have you made it this long without someone punching you in the face?”
“I haven’t. That has happened on occasion.” A dark look steals over his face, and he clears his throat.
It’s finally time for me to place my order and I force a cheery smile at the girl working the counter who’s staring open mouthed at me and … my boyfriend. Right.
Apparently, I need to get used to these looks.
“It’s true, you do have a girlfriend?” She gapes at him, eyes wide as saucers.
I bump him out of my way with my hip and say, “Yes, Teddy McCallister and I, Vanessa Hughes, are dating. We go on dates. We kiss. We have lots and lots of hot sweaty sex. Now, can I please get a medium coffee with almond milk. And sweetums, what do you want?”
Poor Teddy is doing everything he can not to burst into uncontrollable laughter, which of course in turn makes my own lips twitch with barely contained amusement.
“I’ll have a frozen caramel swirl. Medium as well.”
“It’s cold out!” I admonish.
“So?” He shrugs. “I want a frozen coffee. Let me live my life … snookums.”
I try to pass my card over to the girl, but he shoves my hand out of the way and gives her cash, telling her to keep the change. He puts his hand on the small of my waist, ushering me over to the ‘Wait Here’ counter.
“Sweetums, huh?” He whispers near my ear, his lips tickling my skin.
“Snookums?” I counter, hoping he didn’t notice the shiver that skated down my spine. What was that about anyway? My body needs to get itself under control. I cannot afford to be attracted to my fake-boyfriend.
“Hey,” he raises his hands innocently, “I was just following your lead.”
Our order is up, and he passes me my cup before taking his own. He follows me outside and takes my hand. My first instinct is to pull it away, but of course that would raise suspicion.
I allow myself to relax, getting used to feeling of his hand around mine.
We walk in silence for less than a minute when he asks, “What was that about anyway? The kissing and that we have a lot of hot sweaty sex? Not that I wouldn’t love to have such sex with you, but you keep turning me down.”
I sigh, blowing out a breath that fogs the cold air. “I’m just a little peeved after running into your groupie in the library. I was trying to study and then she came along asking if I was actually dating you since so many others have tried to lock you down and were unsuccessful, and then she implied that I’m basically paving the way for the next person whom you’ll wife up.”
“And you got jealous?” he surmises, a smirk teasing his lips when they wrap around his lime green straw.
My lips pop open. “I’m not jealous. I have nothing to be jealous about. It’s just that…”
“That?” he prompts, a dark brown arching.
I stop walking and he does too, his palm warm in mine since I didn’t bother putting my mittens back on. “Look,” I toe the ground, my boot shoving a rock off the cobblestone pathway, “I don’t like people treating me like I’m replaceable and nothing special or like they’re waiting to push me off some sort of first place podium I didn’t even claim. I know what people are thinking about us.”
Teddy’s forehead wrinkles with confusion, his fingers flexing against mine. “I don’t know what you mean?”
I sigh, biting down on my bottom lip as I try to hold back tears. I don’t like showing this vulnerable side of myself. I’ve worked so hard to grow and move past thinking of myself as the big girl and that it somehow makes me lesser, because it doesn’t. But certain situations bring out those nagging doubts that I’ve buried but haven’t fully killed.
Sucking in my cheeks, I twist my lips back and forth. “They’re looking at you—the hot sport’s player, the ladies man, the big guy on campus, and then they see me—average looking, overweight, normal me, and they’re wondering what the hell the two of us are doing together and even though this isn’t real between us, it’s still the reality.”
Teddy looks like I’ve stung him. “But … no. You’re beautiful, gorgeous.” Sincerity rings in his voice, the truth of his words reflecting in his eyes too, and my heart tugs at that, softening inside my chest.
He’s nothing like I ever expected.
“You know who everyone on campus thinks is worthy of you? Some Instagram model wannabe and that’s not me. It’ll never be me. I come from a poor family. I’ve worked my ass off to get here and yeah, I’m not horrible looking, but I’m not who all these people envision you with and that will work against me. Again, I know this is fake, but the hurt from the judgement? That’s real.”
He looks at a loss for words and I feel bad for laying all of this on him, but it’s true. We’re the only two people on campus who know what this is.