And I didn’t even know what all of it was.
Chapter Eight
Rome
My paws pounded the soft ground, the stream having turned the dirt into mud on the banks after Sage had practiced with Rowen the night before. It squished between my claws, but I kept going, knowing my fur would likely end up covered in mats and muck. When I shifted back, the dirt would remain, but hopefully, the mats would go away. I could feel my bear laugh inside me, even though the human part of me was in charge as I ran. The magic of shifting wasn’t like in the movies or any book. I was part of my bear, the spirit within me living as part of me.
I was born this way, and like the cubs who lived within our den, I could shift the moment I was born—though most waited at least a year or so. I had turned for the first time when I was two days old. Trace didn’t change until a month later. Alden had waited until he was a year old. And while some might say it was because he had less control and power, for me, I always assumed it was because Alden wanted to do things his way and didn’t want to be part of the three of us. It was odd to be a triplet and not be connected, not like most of the other bear shifters around us were anyway. There were many twins, quads, and triplets within the shifter culture, especially with bears. We tended to take a while to have children, but we usually did it in multiples when we did.
Multiples within dens were usually far more connected than any other siblings or interactions, except those of mated pairs or triads. It was as if they each had a soul yet were connected upon conception and split, though still with part of the others remaining as if forever bonded.
Trace and I had an enduring bond, but the one we shared with Alden seemed tattered, though not beyond repair. I couldn’t believe that. Not when I needed my pack, my den, and my people. It was hard to understand why my brother was like this when no one else in our family was.
I grumbled, a low, deep sound that radiated through my chest as the call of a hawk floated on the air. I looked up to see Jaxton winging above me, his broad wingspan so immense, it nearly blocked out the sun. Jaxton’s mother had once called him Icarus, afraid that her son would fly too high and lose his touch and freedoms—not to mention his wings. Jaxton was probably the safest of us all, at least those who had grown up in Ravenwood.
My brothers and I had been born in Ravenwood, not in Canada like some might have thought. Our father and mother had moved outside Montreal to run and rule the pack of both continents after my grandfather had passed. Most didn’t know that our grandfather had been Alpha. We’d hidden that information to keep our pack and our grandfather safe. He had passed away in his sleep, making my father Alpha of us all. And I had taken the mantle of alpha of the Ravenwood pack. My bear had risen to the occasion, and the bonds within the den had understood what was needed.
Trace had quickly become beta, second in strength and command. And Alden had been relegated to third, his least favorite position, an opinion he made known to all.
I grumbled again, holding back a growl so as not to scare any innocent bystanders or bunnies that might be in my wake. I strode through the shallow part of the stream, contemplating fishing or maybe at least washing off the rest of the mud, relaxing, doing something. Running out my frustrations wasn’t working.
My bear nudged at me, wanting to see Sage, but I knew I couldn’t. I needed to hold myself back so she could become accustomed to her new life. If I went to her now, I’d be a growly bear who wanted to throw her over my shoulder like some Viking. I wasn’t sure I could control myself around her, so I stayed away.
The longer I did, the harder it would be for her to get to know me and fall passionately and deeply in love, but I never said I was a smart bear.
I looked up to see Trace standing at the edge of the stream in his human form, his messenger bag hanging at his side—probably with clothes for me. He likely wanted to talk, though I didn’t particularly feel like doing that at the moment. We had enough to deal with, and I honestly didn’t want to focus on any of it right now. I wanted to growl, let my bear lead, and just be. But that wasn’t an option currently, so I would have to be an adult, the alpha, and face my issues.
I sighed, shook out the water from my fur, and shifted. It was a painful mix of agony, bliss, and torment all rolled into one as I went from bear to human. Energy radiated off my body, and I shook off the pain, the pleasure, as I stood naked in the stream, glaring at my brother.
“Put on some clothes. I don’t need to see that.” Trace waved at my crotch.
I refrained from mentioning that he had the same as I did and saw himself daily in the mirror. “You’re not supposed to notice that. Shifters don’t.”
“I don’t want to notice my brother’s dick at all, but I sure don’t want to talk to it since I’m sitting here on the ground, and you’re standing there all growly. Put on some clothes. Let’s talk.”
“What if I don’t want to?” My bear was in a mood. It wanted Sage. So did I. And since we couldn’t have her, I wanted to slap at someone with my claws. Trace was here. He wouldn’t bruise…much.
“Don’t you sound like a petulant alpha?” Trace smirked. Jaxton let out another call from above, and I swore I heard a laugh in the sound before he tilted one wing in a sign of goodbye and flew away.
We had work to do, cleanup to deal with after the necromancer’s attack. And, honestly, we needed to find out who was coming at us. There was a reason Jaxton and I were the cleaners and fixers of Ravenwood. We had to clean up the magic and any unexplained things the wards couldn’t protect. Rowen was only one person, and I was afraid that even with Sage’s newly burgeoning powers, she wouldn’t be enough to help with the coven wards. Not without Laurel breaking her curse, and I didn’t know when that would happen. If ever.
It might have been easier if Ash were back, but then again, given everything that had happened when he left? Maybe not. Jaxton and I were needed more and more, and so were others around town, trying to help. I was afraid it wasn’t going to be enough one of these days.
“You’re growling again. What’s wrong?”
“I’m thinking about everything we need to do, and all that we don’t know. And, honestly, I was thinking about Ash,” I said, shaking my head.
Trace’s jaw tightened. “He’s gone. He’s not coming back.”
“You say that, but maybe he needs to.”
“To do what? Throw Rowen off her game again? Break his sister’s heart? Ash is gone, Rome. There’s no fixing it. He’s not going to save Ravenwood. He never was.”
“You’re not going to tell me what happened with him?”
“There’s nothing to tell. Seriously. Ash is gone. And good riddance.”
I looked at my triplet and shook my head. I wasn’t sure I quite believed that, but I couldn’t break through his walls, not when it came to Ash Christopher and the broken shards he had left behind when he burned his way through Ravenwood.
“Why were you thinking of him?” Trace asked after a moment, his voice soft.
I sighed. “I was thinking about everything that Jax and I have had to clean up recently. And the necromancer. And the fact that we don’t know who it was or why they came at us. There are all these unknowns, and it all happened right when Sage came to town.”