Dear God. It was almost as if I could feel the press of Jayna’s luscious lips against my neck.
The likelihood of this being anything more than a dream was impossible.
Too many nights, I’d opened my eyes and found myself alone, aching, wishing to turn back time.
Full hips and thighs straddled my waist, and I couldn’t help but groan and buck up into the incredible sensation of my woman’s pussy rubbing against my boxer-covered, straining cock.
This had to be my mind’s sick version of torture.
“Kir,” Jayna whimpered as she rubbed up and down my length. “Why won’t you touch me? I need you to touch me. Don’t let me wake up without you touching me.”
Immediately, I froze. My brain fired to life as I opened my eyes to find Jayna staring down at me through desire-clouded hazel irises.
How many mornings had I woken in the past to this gorgeous woman exactly like this? To her hands exploring me and then riding me until neither of us could think of anything but the need to come?
“Princesa.” I couldn’t hide the panic in my sleep-roughened voice.
One of her delicate fingers glided down the center of my face, over my lips, and along the column of my neck.
“You’re so handsome, Kir. You were never too pretty, as you liked to say. You were perfect for me.”
She definitely wasn’t awake if she saw me as perfect.
“I need you to lie down next to me.” I glanced at the clock to see it was past two in the morning. We’d both slept for nearly five hours.
She pressed a finger to my lips and then leaned down until we were nose to nose. “I want to fuck, Kir. I ache so much. All day, sometimes. Then I dream of you, only to wake up every time it’s about to get good.”
I clenched my hands by my sides, refusing to grip her hips and do what both of us wanted.
“This isn’t a dream. I need you to look at me.”
“I am.”
“What do you see?”
“The ghost who I can’t let go. My lover. My man. My husband. The man who promised to stay with me until I took my last breath. The reason why I refuse to fall in love again.”
Direct fucking blow to the heart.
“Jayna.” I lifted up and she immediately pushed me down with two hands flat to my chest.
“If you’re going to leave me like every other time, I want to explore you.” She nuzzled my cheek. “It’s my right. I’m your wife.”
“That’s not a good idea, baby.”
“Of course it is. Besides, you’re the one who says morning sex is the best way to start the day.”
I was going to hell. Fucking going to hell.
I closed my eyes, unable to relax and unable to resist the need for her touch.
This was a disaster waiting to happen. When Jayna learned the truth, there was a chance she wouldn’t be able to look at me.
Her graceful fingers and nails grazed over my neck and throat, sending goosebumps over my skin.
The press of her lips to the center of my chest had my cock jumping and bumping up against her slick, rocking cunt.
This was an erotic torment I knew I’d die from.
She moved lower, her lips and hands trailing a path down my abdomen.
Fuck.
I had to stop her before it went too far.
She pushed me slightly to the side, tracing one of my tattoos, one I’d had extended after my accident.
“This is new.” Her tone and breath changed as she explored the ink covering the scars on my side and back.
The sensation of having anyone touch my skin was almost too much. The fact it was Jayna exploring, seeing the damage the wreck had caused hidden under the ink was both a blessing and a curse.
What would happen once she woke and realized I was a liar, the villain of the fairytale, and not the hero as she believed? Would she listen to me and forgive me? Or gut me as I expected?
She pushed me again onto my back and then straddled my hips, her eyes scanning all over me, almost frantic until they landed on my wedding band—a wildness filling her gaze.
“You never took it off.”
“Only when they made me.”
God, I was talking to her as if she could understand me.
What the hell was I doing? I had to stop this.
But the sick bastard part of me couldn’t. I needed this little time before she realized this wasn’t her imagination.
She set my hand on her breast, but I let it slide to the bed, making her frown.
“Do you love me, Kir?” she asked in that voice she’d use whenever she was determined to get what she wanted.
“More than anything on Earth.”
“Then touch me.” She pulled off the T-shirt I’d changed her into, exposing her incredible breasts that made my mouth water with the desire to taste them.
“I can’t. Not until we talk. Not until you’ve forgiven me.”
She grabbed my hands and set them over her bare breasts, using my palms to squeeze the mounds.
This was torture, not the dream I thought I was having.
“I don’t want to talk. I want to touch. I want to fuck.”
I pulled my hands free and tried to dislodge Jayna, but she’d clamped down with her knees and thighs against mine.
When the hell had she gotten so strong? It had to be all those hours she spent training at the club.
“It’s not that simple, Jayna.”
“Yes, it is. Do you want me?”
“Of course, I fucking want you. I would love nothing more than to get lost in your body. This isn’t the right time.” I pressed my palms to my face.
This was my penance for the last few years. It had to be.
“Fine. If you aren’t going to participate, I’ll take care of it myself.”
She reached down between our bodies and gripped the ridge of my cock through my boxers. Throwing back my head, I bucked up into her hold. I couldn’t help but revel in the incredible sensation. Nearly three fucking years without her hands on me.
“Please, Jayna. If we do this, you’re going to hate me.”
Her gaze met mine as she pushed down my underwear, just enough to free my cock, and positioned me at her soaked entrance.
“Oh no, Kir. I do hate you. As much as I love you,” she said as she slid down a fraction. “You fucking bastard.”
I froze, realizing she was completely awake and pissed to holy hell.
“Now fuck me, or I’ll kill you using that knife I’m sure you have hidden in that top drawer.”
I stared into eyes filled with hurt, anger, and betrayal, knowing I was about to enter a storm.
“Do it,” she ordered as her hair tumbled around her shoulders.
I should stop this. Do the right thing. Try to reason with her.
But damn, I needed her so fucking much. So instead of pulling her off me, I gripped her round ass and brought her down hard, burying myself to the hilt.
“Fuck, Jayna.”
The feel of her cunt was better than ever. The heat of her, the way her muscles molded against my cock, the scent of her. There was nothing like how she smelled, not her perfume, but her natural, earthy, pure essence.
“Don’t move,” Jayna gasped, closing her eyes. “I…need to get used to this again. God, I missed you inside me.”
Her beautiful face was a play of pleasure and need.
“Baby, I have to move. It’s been so long. I won’t last.”