“Did you need something?”
“Sit.” He motioned to the couch, and I sat down, folding my hands in my lap.
Zander continued checking his papers, murmuring to himself as he punched in numbers on the calculator.
“All done.” He threw the stack down and smiled at me. “How are you today?”
“I’m fine, thank you.”
“Good, that’s good. Last night was… a misjudgment on my part, and for that, I’m sorry.”
“It was nothing.”
He let out a heavy sigh, rising from his chair to walk over to me. “You’re so beautiful, Cait.” Sliding his hand along my neck, he gently gripped my jaw and forced me to look up at him. “I was too rough.”
I suppressed a shudder. He was always rough. Most men like Zander were. They liked the power, the fear… they liked to possess women to the point of pain.
“I’m sorry.”
His apology echoed around my skull. In all the time I’d known Zander, he’d never once apologized.
I didn’t know what to make of it.
He ran his thumb over my bottom lip, letting the pillow of flesh pop as he pulled it away.
“I just get so angry when I see other men watch you.”
“I thought you wanted me to dance for him?”
“I did, dolcezza. I did. And you did such a good job. But the way I feel about you, Caitlin… it’s enough to drive a man to the brink of insanity.”
I was his.
Despite the fact we hadn’t ever officially gone public or labelled our relationship, I was under no illusion that this was anything but the fact Zander DiMarco had decided I belonged to him.
When he’d first found me and took me off the streets, Zander had given me a safe place to stay, and I’d lapped up his attention. But then he’d started to hint at his true intentions. For so long, I managed to keep him at arm’s length. Until one night, Zander had grown tired of waiting for me and had taken what he’d wanted all along.
Me.
“You know I’m not interested in any of those men,” I said. There had never been a man to catch my attention. Except one, on a stormy night when I’d found myself in a dark alley with another Zander DiMarco of the world. A man who thought he could just take what he wanted.
I would never forget Matteo. He’d saved my life that night, and then gave me one of the best nights of my almost twenty-one years on Earth.
But that’s all it could ever be.
I’d refused to give him my number, locking him away in a little box where Zander couldn’t touch him.
If he ever found out about that night… It didn’t bear thinking about.
A violent shudder rolled through me, and I took a calming breath, trying to keep my expression neutral.
“So why do you keep stalling, dolcezza? It would be so much easier if you moved in with me. We could play happy family. I could go to sleep every night holding you, wake every morning with you in my arms.”
Lies.
It was all lies.
Zander didn’t know how to do any of those things. He didn’t know how to be soft and tender. Even now, his fingers were gripping me a little too tightly, his jaw clenched with frustration.
“I’ve told you before, I’m not ready.”
He knew why.
I’d given him that much.
But I could see from the flash of anger in his eyes, my excuses weren’t enough anymore.
“I’ve waited,” he said. “I’ve been patient and given you space. But a man will only wait so long, Cait. I can’t give you up, dolcezza. I won’t.”
“I should probably get to work.”
Wrong answer.
My neck wrenched as he yanked my face upward, my muscles screaming in protest. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes. “Z-Zander please, I have to go to work.”
“You work for me, or have you forgotten that? You. Are. Mine. Caitlin. The sooner you get on board with that, the better. Now be a good girl and kiss me.” He practically dragged me to my feet, giving me no time to back out as his lips slammed down on mine. His fingers slid into my hair, clutching me like a rag doll. A puppet. My whole life had been nothing more than a show I had no control over. I came to Providence to start over, but the cycle just continued.
And I hated it.
I hated that I attracted a certain kind of man. I hated that I wasn’t strong enough to walk away.
But walking away wasn’t that simple.
I had nothing. Nowhere to go, no one to turn to. I was all alone in the world except for the few friends I had at DiMarco’s.
I went lax in his arms, knowing that fighting would only stoke the anger rising inside him.
“God, dolcezza, it’s like I can’t get enough of you.” His hands ran over my body, clawing at my modest black skirt.
“Zander,” I breathed. “It’s the middle of the day, everyone is expecting me.”
That snapped him out of his trance, and he backed away slightly. “You’re right.” He smoothed down his shirt. “Later then.”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. Slipping around him, I straightened my skirt and headed for the door.
“One day, Cait, you’re going to give me what I want.”
Pretending not to hear him, I hurried from the room and headed straight to the women’s bathroom. I needed a minute to collect my thoughts and stop shaking.
“There you are. I was beginning to wonder—”
“Not now, Shaun,” I said, busying myself with polishing glasses. DiMarco’s was always quieter in the afternoon, so it gave the floor staff a chance to prepare for the night ahead. Glasses were buffed, tables were cleaned, and the refrigerators and liquor shelves were restocked. It was laborious work, but I didn’t mind it. It kept my mind busy.
Zander came and went, sometimes sitting at his usual spot in the corner of the club on the raised platform, giving him a vantage point of the entire room. He liked people to know he was the boss, just like he liked people to know he was always there watching them. It was part of his power play.
But during the day, he had meetings, telephone calls, and paperwork to do, so he wasn’t around so much. I took pleasure in those moments, and for a second, I could almost imagine being invisible.
I was busy restocking the tealight votives on each table when I felt him. Zander. He’d barely left me thirty minutes before coming to check up on me.
His behavior toward me was growing more erratic. More possessive. And I knew the thin rope of control I still had would soon snap.
He wanted an answer—an answer I couldn’t give him, not willingly.
I glanced over my shoulder, and sure enough, he was across the room watching me. His eyes darkened as he swirled the glass of scotch around in his hand before bringing the rim to his lips. I should have looked away, refused to play his game of cat and mouse. But I wasn’t about to cower, not now. Not ever.
“Cait?” Gisele tapped me on the shoulder, and I almost jumped out of my skin. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“It’s okay.” I flashed her a warm smile, still able to feel Zander’s eyes drilling holes into the side of my face.
“He’s getting more and more obvious,” she said between gritted teeth.