It was close to an hour later, Aidan’s hand still in my hair, when David asked, “Did you get the invite to the play party?”
That piqued my interest.
“I did,” Aidan replied, tugging on my hair gently.
“I’m thinking of going. Are you bringing your boy?”
“No, I think we’ll sit this one out,” Aidan replied.
“Play party?” I asked. I mean…that sounded fun to me.
“Private events,” Aidan answered. “Where people can play together, or can play with your partner and be watched, that kind of thing.”
My head popped up, and my cock began to fill with blood. I couldn’t imagine getting to see others together, to compare myself to them, and for everyone to know I belonged to Aidan. “Can we go?”
David chuckled.
Aidan frowned. “I just said we weren’t.”
“But I really want to!”
“And I said no,” he replied, his voice tight. I could tell he was upset, but I was upset too. I wanted this, wanted to proudly serve him in front of others.
“On that note, I think it’s time for me to go.” David stood.
“I’ll walk you out.” Aidan threw his leg over me and stood as well.
“Good night, Finley. Thank you for dinner,” David said. I mumbled a goodbye at him, my arms crossed.
Couldn’t we at least talk about this? Was he ashamed of me? Did he think I wouldn’t serve him well? It reminded me of that moment with Jordan when I hadn’t known how to explain who Aidan was to me.
It felt like Aidan was outside forever with David. I sat on the carpet for a while, then stood and paced the room. My thoughts were getting out of control. I kept wondering why he didn’t want to go with me, if this was something he used to do—and obviously it was, since he’d been invited and David asked if he was going.
The second Aidan came back inside, closing and locking the door behind him, I said, “I want to go!”
“You’ve made that obvious, as I’ve made my response obvious. Watch your attitude. We’ll talk about this when you’ve calmed down.”
Then, without another word, Aidan went upstairs to his room.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Aidan
I didn’t know what was wrong with me, why I’d reacted the way I had about the party. I’d played at events like that many times. It wasn’t something Finley and I had discussed before, and there was a part of me that didn’t want to share him, that didn’t want what we had to be for anyone else. It was a selfish desire. He obviously wanted it. Wasn’t it me who’d said Finley deserved all the experiences he wanted? To know more than just me? But now that I had the chance, I’d shut it down without having a conversation with him, maybe partly because I knew he would want to go.
He was changing me, tying me up, putting me in his own form of bondage, when I had never been bound before.
With a sigh, I opened the door and sent him a one-word text. Come.
A moment later his door creaked open. When he reached the hallway, he stopped, looked at me. “May I crawl to you?”
Those words made an earthquake go off inside me. Oh, the way this boy served me. “You may.”
He knelt, crawled over as I went to sit on the bed, and laid his head against my thigh. “I’m sorry for disrespecting you.”
“I know. You’ll still be punished, but we’ll figure that out later. I apologize for walking out and not listening to you. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. Can you explain to me why it’s important to you to go?”
Finley nodded against my thigh, but it still took him a moment to reply. “I just… Are you ashamed of me?”
“What? No. Do you really think that?”
Another pause, then, “Not really? I mean, I know you, and you’re so very good to me, take the best care of me, so part of me knows you’re not. But then my thoughts do funny things to me sometimes, and I question it. Do you think I won’t serve you well in front of others?”
My heart ached. I was letting him down, failing him. I was his Dominant. I was supposed to make him feel secure. “No, precious boy. That’s not it. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I care about taking good care of you.”
He pushed closer to me, putting his face between my legs. My dick hardened, plumped against his face as he breathed me in. I continued. “I don’t quite know why I decided we wouldn’t go. Then, when you spoke to me the way you did, I dug my heels in on principle.”
“I’m sorry,” he said again, pushing his nose against my sac. “There’s something else I need to tell you. I, um… There’s a guy…he’s in my English class. He was hitting on me, I think.”
I sucked in a sharp breath, my chest aching in an unfamiliar way. “Did you want him to be hitting on you?” It was something we should discuss so I knew how to move forward with him. If one of his desires was to be shared or to be allowed with other men, I needed to know.
“I don’t know. It felt good, obviously. I don’t want him the way I want you, though. He gave me his number, and I took it. But I told him…I told him I had someone, but I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know if I should say I have a boyfriend because you’re not that to me. You’re my Sir, but what else does that mean? I didn’t like not having the answer to that. I think that weighed on me with the party too, like…what do I mean to you? Is this a secret? It made me feel insecure and like maybe you really are ashamed.”
I had definitely failed him in this, and I hated that. I should have seen it coming. He should have had answers to these questions long ago. But the truth was, I didn’t know how to reply. “This is something we need to break apart, I think. First, you need to figure out if you want that boy.” The words were hard to push out, but I needed to. And Finley deserved that, if that’s what he wanted. I had always known this day would come.
“Not like I want you…never like I want you. I don’t think he could give me what I need anyway. But maybe as a friend? We can like, study together or hang out the way I do with Ian. I’ve never had that…not with anyone else. I’ve never even studied with a friend before.”
I’d told myself I was giving him what he needed, that I was making sure he had a life outside of me, but in that moment, I realized I was doing a shit job of it. Why hadn’t I pushed Finley to make friends? “Invite him over. Or go out with him. That’s an order. And if you decide you want to sleep with him, or anyone else, you come to me.”
He nodded. “But what do I tell him about us?”
That was harder to answer. I thought maybe…a part of me wanted to tell him that whatever he needed, I would give him. Whatever he desired was his. Still, old habits die hard, and the thought of giving myself to someone enough that they had the power to hurt me…I wasn’t sure I could do that. “I’ve never had a boyfriend, Finley.” Christ, even the word felt weird on my tongue. I was a thirty-nine-year-old man having this conversation with a twenty-year-old boy.
“Neither have I,” he replied, the feisty little thing.