We shared a long look, the air electric between us. “You haven’t either,” he murmured. “You took control of your life, yes, when it felt like it was spiraling?”
“Exactly.” I hadn’t divulged anything to Thane about why I’d taken off on Robyn, and I found myself wanting him to know, to understand. If Robyn didn’t think I was a coward, I was sure Thane wouldn’t either. And I wanted him to know that I really did understand his tattoo. That I understood him.
And so, somewhat guarded from view thanks to the windbreak, my eyes on Eilidh playing in the distance, I confessed to Thane why I’d left Robyn after she got shot. I didn’t go into detail about Austin—that was a conversation I hoped we’d never have to have—but I explained how I’d let my fear keep me away from her.
“I was ashamed of my cowardice,” I ended.
Thane leaned into me, his voice gruff. “You are not a coward. You were very young, and you didn’t know how to process your emotions. Emotional intelligence takes time. Do you think I was emotionally mature and self-aware at twenty-two, twenty-three?” he said. “You learned faster than many of us do, Regan.”
Grateful, I reached out without thinking and placed a hand on his bent knee. “Thank you for saying that.”
His large, strong hand covered mine, and goose bumps shot up my arm despite the lack of breeze. I inhaled sharply, and Thane’s fingers tightened on mine.
“Thane!” A shrill female voice jolted us out of the moment, and I glanced up to see Michelle, one of the thirsty moms, stalking toward us.
Sliding away from Thane, my heart raced.
I’d totally forgotten we were sitting in public, touching each other.
“Michelle.” Thane looked up at her. “How are you?”
She shook two ice-cream cones at us but put way more jiggle behind it than necessary so that her impressive boobs shook in her cute bikini top.
I hated her.
Side-eyeing Thane, I tried not to glare. I couldn’t tell where he was looking, but a possessive growl of jealousy sounded in my head. He better not be looking at her boobs.
“The ice-cream van arrived, and the kids wanted some. Connor’s dad watched them while I ran off to get them. I saw Lewis. He’s getting so big. And handsome. Just like his dad.”
Thane cleared his throat. “Aye, well …” He trailed off uncomfortably, making me laugh.
“It looks like your ice creams are melting there, Michelle,” I said.
She wore sunglasses, but I still knew she was glaring at me. “Regan. I didn’t see you there.”
I guffawed under my breath, but the way Thane turned slightly to look at me, a small smirk on his lips, told me he’d heard me.
At my non-answer, Michelle threw a strained smile at Thane. “I hope to see you at parents’ evening. Maybe even before then. We all miss you at the gates.”
“That’s kind.”
When Thane said no more, her smile wavered and she threw us a quick bye before hurrying off with the melting cones.
Silence fell between us for a second.
Then I burst out laughing.
Thane half laughed, half groaned as he leaned back on his hands.
“Could she be any more obvious?” I huffed.
“Every time.” He rubbed a hand over his beard. “It’s the one thing I don’t miss about working from home. Enduring those bloody pickups and drop-offs at the gates with those women.”
My jealousy eased. “You’re not interested in any of them? They’re attractive.”
Thane’s amusement fled. “No. They’re only interested in the Adair name and the money they think comes with it.”
Frowning, I shook my head. “I think you might have something to do with it too. I’m sure Lachlan’s already told you they’ve been giving me the stink eye for the past six weeks.”
His lips twitched. “He mentioned something.”
“They think I’m doing more than nannying for you,” I blurted.
Despite those damn sunglasses, I could feel him looking at me. My body reacted to his unintentional smoldering, and my dress was suddenly too tight across my breasts.
“Ignore them,” Thane finally replied. “They like to gossip.”
“I do ignore them,” I promised. Then, because I was a glutton for punishment, I asked, “So there’s no one you’re interested in dating?”
For a second I thought I might have crossed the boss/employee boundary, but Thane eventually answered, “I don’t date often. I don’t want lots of women coming in and out of the kids’ lives.”
What about sex? He was a virile, hot-as-hell man in his prime.
As if he could read my thoughts, he grinned, and it was too wicked. “There’s a difference between ‘dating’ and dating. I ‘date’ more than I date. If you catch my drift.”
Oh, yeah, I caught his drift. There was that jealousy rearing its ugly head again. Was he “dating” someone right now? All this time, while I was crushing on him, was he fucking women any chance he got? But when? All he did was be a dad and work. What if it was someone he worked with?
Oh my God, I was driving myself crazy.
Turning to look back at Anna and Eilidh dancing on the beach, I let their cuteness cut through my irrational annoyance.
“What about you? You haven’t met anyone special yet?” Thane asked.
Yes! I wanted to shout in his face. And he’s oblivious! Instead, I shrugged. “Nope. Not yet.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
The note of admiration in his tone made me turn back to him. I swear to God, I sensed his eyes on my body.
But that couldn’t be right. Right? “You do?”
His mouth twisted into a self-deprecating smirk as he looked toward the water. “Aye, surely some young surfer or lead singer of an indie rock band wanted to take you on adventures with him.”
Is that what he thought? That I wanted some irresponsible, wild, adventurous, “fun” youth? After what I’d just confessed to him? Irritated, I replied, my voice a little hoarse, “I want a man, not a boy.”
Now it was Thane’s turn to inhale sharply.
“Ree-Ree!” Eilidh came flying at us and threw herself into her dad’s arms, despite it being my name she’d called.
Thane caught her and cuddled her close.
Taut with tension, I didn’t know whether her interruption relieved me.
“What do you want Regan for, Eilidh-Bug?” her dad asked, smoothing stray curls around her face.
Damn, he was such a hot dad.
And I was such a perv.
Focus, focus, focus. I grinned at Eilidh as she chattered about how Mac said there were mermaids in the water and would I take her down to see them.
“Uncle Mac was talking about the loch at Ardnoch, darling,” Thane told her. “This is the firth that leads into the North Sea.”
“No mermaids?” she asked, big-eyed.
He shook his head.
“Can we still go in?”
“Regan isn’t dressed for the water, but how about I take you in and then when we come back, we’ll have lunch?”
Eilidh agreed, and Thane stood and swung her with ease onto his shoulders. Her giggles pealed across the beach, drawing stares.