Sabrina certainly hadn’t done so on purpose. “I wasn’t flirting.”
“No? You sparkled with vivacity and charm. What’s more, you looked completely at ease.”
She hadn’t been. Inside, she’d been a tangle of anxiety. Laughing softly, she said, “Then I pulled off quite an act.”
Evie cocked her head. “Are you saying that wasn’t really you?”
“It was me. Rather, the new me. But it takes effort.” She realized it was akin to assuming a role on the stage, or what she imagined that might be like. It all took effort, and she was more than willing to do what was necessary to get what she wanted—a child. That was still her primary goal in all of this, and after last night, she needed more help. “Aldington visited my bedchamber last night,” she said softly, not quite meeting Evie’s gaze.
“My goodness, why didn’t you tell me that straightaway?”
“I suppose I am still rather embarrassed—or at least self-conscious—about the matter.” She winced inwardly as she recalled her behavior in bed, then grabbed a biscuit from the tray and took too large of a bite in order to avoid saying more.
Evie’s brows pinched together. “You’re feeling comfortable with yourself, yes? Your body, I mean.”
“Er, I thought so.” Sabrina frowned down at her teacup. “But when he was there and things were…happening, I was still incredibly nervous. I didn’t know what to do with him. With my…reaction.”
“What happened?”
Sabrina lifted her gaze. “I kept making noises, which seemed to bother him. Or at least surprise him. So I put my hand over my mouth to stop from doing it. And I didn’t touch him, and I should have. I did, however, have an orgasm.”
Evie didn’t exactly frown, but her brow creased with concern. “Well, the last part is an improvement, isn’t it?”
“Definitely, but it was still awkward. We seem to suffer from an inability to communicate our…desires.” Why was this so unbelievably painful to discuss? And it was even more difficult to do so with her husband—Sabrina couldn’t even summon the nerve!
“I think you may both benefit from a situation where your reticence can be set aside. As it happens, Lucien and I have come up with a plan that will facilitate this.”
Sabrina drank some tea to wash down the biscuit. Her mouth was suddenly drier than it was a moment ago. “I can’t even begin to comprehend what that could be.”
“Lucien has determined that Aldington has some sort of wall that he must break down with regard to you and sex. He’s suggested that Aldington work with a tutor to breach that wall.”
Sabrina was glad she hadn’t taken another drink of tea, for she most definitely would have swallowed it down wrong. “A tutor? Who would do that?” His mistress, perhaps?
Evie gave her a sly look. “You, but Aldington won’t know that.”
“Me?” Sabrina gaped at Evie. “I could never. I hardly know what to do.” As evidenced last night. “I’m an utter failure when it comes to him.”
“But you haven’t been in finding pleasure—you had an orgasm last night. This is progress! Now, you just need to allow yourself to respond. You must absolutely make whatever noises you want, and you should touch him. If he doesn’t know you’re you, would that make these things easier to do?”
The idea that she could act a role returned to her mind. When she’d put on the cobalt gown last night, she’d looked and felt like a confident, elegant countess, perhaps for the first time. It had helped her to actually have the confidence to not only attend the rout, but as Evie had said, sparkle. And when she’d donned the seductive dressing gown to entice Aldington, she’d looked like a woman who was eager for her husband to join her in the marriage bed, and again she’d felt more self-assured, even if it had been fleeting.
“He wouldn’t know it’s me, so I could be anyone…” Her mind chased that thought, conjuring things she might say—or do—to him if he didn’t know it was her. “Aldington agreed to this?”
Evie nodded. “I received a note from Lucien just before you arrived.”
He must have decided today then. Apparently, he’d seen last night as a failure too. A new wave of anxiety threatened to overwhelm her, but she refused to succumb. She wanted a child, and this was how she was going to get it.
“Who does Aldington think this tutor will be?”
“A former courtesan who is eager to help someone. And who enjoys sex.”
A laugh burst from Sabrina. “This will take quite a bit of playacting from me.” She paused. “Why isn’t his mistress performing this task?”
Evie shook her head. “He doesn’t have one and apparently never has.”
Sabrina was surprised to hear this. Why had he not ever taken a mistress? “But now he’s willing to meet with a former courtesan?”
“Apparently he recognizes he needs help in how to seduce you. You needn’t have sexual intercourse with him or touch each other at all, really. You must simply play the role of an expert in these matters.”
Another laugh leapt from Sabrina. “Simply.” The wild scheme was beginning to take root in her mind. “You really believe I can do this?”
“I do.” Evie’s eyes glowed with conviction. “You have the book, you’ve discovered what you like, you even had an orgasm with your husband. Just focus on being assertive and letting down your guard.”
She was to give him lessons in seduction. There was something strangely arousing about being with Aldington without him knowing who she was. “I’m still trying to determine how this will work. And whether I can summon the courage—and skills—necessary to behave like someone who enjoys sex.”
“But you do,” Evie said simply. “Or you will, when you have more of it. You’ve enjoyed having orgasms, have you not?”
“Well, yes.” An unavoidable blush rose up her neck and into her face. “How is it he won’t know my identity? Is it to be pitch dark?”
“Mostly. He will also be blindfolded, so there will be no chance for him to see you. Just in case, you must also wear a mask, in case the blindfold slips at all.”
“I would have to disguise my voice, I would think.”
“Yes, that’s probably a good idea. Can you do that?”
“I think so. What if Aldington realizes it’s me?”
“He won’t, unless you think he might recognize your body when he touches you.”
A laugh bubbled inside her, but Sabrina didn’t let it out. “If he can, I’ll be impressed. When is this to happen?” She needed plenty of time to prepare.
“Tomorrow night.”
Sabrina had picked up her teacup and practically sloshed the remaining contents down her lap. Setting it back down with a clack, she gaped at Evie. “That’s too soon!”
“You can be ready.” She gave Sabrina an encouraging smile. “You’ve already done so much—you’ve been open to learning what you need to do, and you were brilliant at the rout. Just coming to London and demanding your marital rights was a massive leap.”