“And I assumed you would be autocratic and cold like your father.”
“Haven’t I been?” Constantine arched a sandy brow, and the effect of his self-deprecation and sly humor was devastating.
Sabrina rushed forward and clasped his hand between hers. “Yes, but that’s not who you are.”
“No, it’s not. I didn’t know who I was until you came to London to save me from myself. I know that was not your intent—you wanted a child—but that’s what happened.”
“Yes, I wanted a child, but I wanted you too.”
He narrowed one eye at her. “I think it’s important that we’re completely honest with each other, that there are no more assumptions or half-truths or misunderstandings.”
Heat rose up Sabrina’s neck. “All right, perhaps at first I was fixated on a child. But as soon as I learned about the pleasurable side of marriage, I wanted that. With you. Wanting you came very quickly—and easily. Even that first night when things were still so awkward between us, I wanted you. I just didn’t know how to show it, and I was too afraid to say it.”
He took his hand from hers and cupped her face, holding her as he stared into her eyes. “Promise you’ll never be afraid of me again. I would never hurt you. I love you completely.”
His words lit a brightness inside her that would never be diminished. For as long as she lived, she would remember this moment, this man, and this outpouring she’d never imagined to see from him. The tears she’d held back spilled forth, trailing down her cheeks and onto his hands.
“My love,” he whispered before gently moving his lips over hers. “I wanted you even before we were wed. I was hurt when I learned you didn’t want to marry me, but I think I always hoped we would find a connection. If only I’d told you so—”
“Shh. Don’t look back.” Sabrina clutched at his lapels and held him to her. “I love you too,” she said, but she feared the words were lost against his mouth. She pulled away to look into his eyes. “I love you, Constantine.”
His hands stroked down her neck and rested on her shoulders. “You came here to change, and in doing so, you changed me.”
“I prefer to think we both discovered our truths—about ourselves and each other.” She wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m sorry it took an ill-conceived stratagem. If I could go back and change that, I would.”
“It was ill-conceived, and yet we really can’t complain about the results. I was desperate to do anything for you.” His voice broke, and Sabrina’s heart twisted.
She squeezed him tightly. “I treasured every moment of those encounters when you bared yourself to me in ways I don’t think you realized. That’s when I started to fall in love with you. Then you courted me, and I fell completely.”
“You’re right in that seeing the tutor helped me become myself, to strip away the artifice of being my father’s son.”
“Pretending to be a former courtesan allowed me to lose my inhibitions, to become your wife, not just your countess.”
He laughed softly. “I suppose we should be thankful for the ruse after all. And to Lucien and Mrs. Renshaw for their meddling.”
“Perhaps, but in the interest of speaking honestly, I must say I prefer to give the credit to us. You’re the one who made me feel desirable, and ultimately that gave me the courage I needed.”
“You are infinitely desirable.” Constantine lowered his head and kissed her jaw, then her neck. “Perhaps you’d like me to demonstrate how much?” His lips and tongue elicited a shiver as need gathered inside her.
She moved one hand to the back of his neck, urging him to continue with his mouth. “May I make a request?”
“Anything,” he whispered against her neck. “Make every request. I want to hear everything you are thinking from now on, no matter what.”
“Everything? Well, then, I want you to blindfold me. I imagined that must have heightened your senses when I was the tutor, and I wanted to know what that felt like.”
“Would you like me to be your tutor?” he asked huskily, provoking a flash of lust so hot and bright that Sabrina quivered in his arms.
“Yes, please. Tell me exactly what you want me to do.”
He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. “Just love me.”
“That’s easy because I already do.” She narrowed her eyes at him and tugged his hair. “You’re going to have to be naughtier than that.”
He swept her into his arms with a growl and strode to the bed, depositing her carefully onto the mattress. After removing his boots, coat, and waistcoat, he returned to her as he stripped his cravat away. “Ready?”
She nodded, eager for this night and all the nights to come.
He paused, his eyes glistening as he looked at her. “I love you, Sabrina, with all of my cold, black heart.”
She cupped his face and kissed him hard and fast. “Your heart is not cold, nor is it black. It is warm and kind and full of love. And it is mine.”
Epilogue
April 1, London
* * *
“Why are you smiling?” Constantine asked his wife as their coach arrived in Portman Square, where they would attend a ball with Cassandra. While Sabrina was no longer her official sponsor, she and Constantine had agreed that they would continue to support his sister in her Season—if only to provide an additional defense against their father’s meddling.
“I was just thinking of the new kitten and how Grayson already seems to adore him. I think he wanted a brother.”
At both Sabrina and Constantine’s insistence, Haddock had found another kitten the day before. Sabrina, with Constantine’s full endorsement, had insisted both he and Grayson have the run of the house. The buff-colored kitten had slept on Sabrina’s lap that morning as they’d breakfasted, and Constantine suspected that would become a regular occurrence. Both woman and cat had appeared quite content.
“I’m not at all sure the addition will calm Grayson, however,” Constantine noted. The two liked to tussle, and it was rather amusing to watch.
Sabrina laughed softly. “No, I’m not sure it will either. But I don’t mind, do you?”
“Surprisingly, no.”
The coach had pulled abreast of the entrance to the house and a moment later, the groom opened the door. Constantine stepped out and helped Sabrina to the ground. She was even more stunning than normal due to the glow that Constantine was certain emanated from the child she carried.
Offering his arm, he guided her to the house, and they made their way through the receiving line and into the ballroom. “Shall we find Cass?” he asked, surveying the large space for his sister.
“Yes. I daresay your aunt has likely already abandoned her.”
“Indeed, she has. Cass and Miss Lancaster are near that large potted palm.” He led Sabrina through the crowd to where the two young women stood.
Cassandra’s eyes lit as they approached. “Thank goodness you are here. I can’t tell you how happy I was to receive your note, Sabrina.” Sabrina had written to tell her that she would continue to act as a sponsor, even if she didn’t officially carry that title.