“How much do you remember?”
“It’s bits and pieces. I feel like it’s out of order.”
Jon took her shaking hand again. “That’s okay. You don’t need to think about it.”
“I can’t explain it, but it hurts to think. It’s hard for me to . . . I can’t think of the word.”
“Process?”
She nodded. “I feel slow. And stupid that I can’t remember words and things.”
“The swelling is down and the bleed in your brain has stopped and is clearing up. Those are all good signs that your head is healing. In a few days, thinking and doing things will be easier, but the doctor warned me and your family last night that it will take weeks, if not months, for all your symptoms to completely subside.”
She stared at their joined hands. He held the one that had only two fingers with badly broken nails, the skin torn and raw. All of her fingertips ached. But her other hand was the worst. She’d lost one fingernail completely, half of another, and broken two fingers. They were bandaged and splinted together. “How did I hurt my hands? No one will tell me. It’s one of the things that’s . . . dark.” That word made her whole body tremble as fear washed through her like a tidal wave.
“That’s a good word to describe what happened, sweetheart.” Jon glanced at Emmy, who played her game and didn’t pay them any attention. As before, he kept his voice low. “I wasn’t there, so I can’t say exactly how it happened, but Steph somehow shoved you into the closet and locked you in by jamming a chair under the handle.”
“I . . .” Her chest seized.
Jon cupped her face and made her look at him. “Breathe, Trinity.”
She tried, but she felt like she was suffocating. “Something bad happened.” She wrapped her arms around her aching ribs.
“You are okay. Just breathe.” He took a slow breath in.
She copied him and let it out just like he did.
“There you go. Again.”
She breathed in and out with him.
“Keep it slow and even,” he coaxed, and she was able to calm down.
The flashing lights stopped in her eyes. She didn’t feel like she was going to pass out again. “I had a panic attack.”
“That wasn’t so bad.”
She regretted shaking her head. It really screwed up her brain. “No. In the closet.”
“You had a flashback. You panicked. You ran when the police officer let you out, but he was able to catch you and put you in the ambulance.”
“Where is she?” Desperation filled her words and pounding heart.
“Jail.” He pressed his hand to her cheek and looked her in the eyes. “She can’t hurt you or Emmy anymore. I won’t let her.”
Tate walked in next to them. “The doctor says your scan looks good. You can go home. He’s getting your release orders ready now.” Tate looked from her to Jon. “Everything okay?”
Jon stood, but didn’t let go of her trembling hand. “She wanted to know some details.”
“The doctor said not to overwhelm her.” Tate put his hand on her shoulder.
“I simply answered her questions to help her feel less confused.” Frustrated and defensive, Jon rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “I’m trying to help her process things as they come to her.”
Tate conceded. “You’re right. The doctor said to help her separate the past and the present and only bring it up if she asked.”
“Again. I’m right here.” She understood they wanted to help her, but she didn’t like that they made her feel inept.
Jon sighed with such fatigue she felt sorry for him. He’d had one hell of a night worrying about her and Emmy. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m trying to do what’s right here.”
Tate squeezed her shoulder, but spoke to Jon. “Why don’t you take Trinity back to her room and help her get dressed. Liz brought her some clothes and stuff. I’ll stay here with tiny tot.”
Emmy perked up on the bed. “I’m totally going to beat your score.” Emmy held up the game she was playing, taunting Tate.
“No way, tiny tot. You’re toast.” Tate went to the bed and sat beside Emmy.
Jon stared at Emmy, relief in his eyes. Whatever he’d been through last night with her, seeing her happy and playful with Tate sure did make him feel better.
He took the handles at the back of the wheelchair and pushed Trinity out of the room and back to hers. He helped her stand because her balance was off right now and held her still so she could get her bearings, but all she wanted was to be in his arms. She stepped into him and he wrapped his arms around her and held her loosely, because of her ribs, but close.
She breathed him in.
He sighed out his relief. “I wanted to be with you last night, to hold your hand, help you through all the scans, and be here for you while the doctors checked you out and stitched and bandaged you up.”
She stepped back so she could see him, but kept her hands on his arms for balance. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you last night and help Emmy.”
Jon stared down at her, surprise and puzzlement in his eyes. “Seriously? You could have died.” His throat worked as he swallowed hard. “I almost lost you, and you’re sorry you weren’t with me and Emmy last night. I don’t deserve that. I should have taken Emmy away from Steph a long time ago.”
She hated seeing the self-loathing in his eyes. “You’re close to doing just that.”
“Too little, too late. She nearly killed you and Emmy is covered in bruises all down her back.”
Trinity gasped. “Oh no.”
“She’s going to be okay,” he assured her. “The point is, if I’d done what was necessary sooner, none of this would have happened.”
“Steph did this. She was drunk and stoned and let her anger, resentment, and jealousy get the better of her.”
“She should be jealous, because you’re kind enough to try to understand her after what she did to you and you’re the mother I want for Emmy. You’re perfect.”
“I’m not,” she assured him. She had her flaws, but she liked that they blurred or disappeared when he looked at her.
“You are for me. That’s why I love you so damn much.”
She had to let loose her aching hands the second she gripped him tighter. “What?”
“You heard me. But if you’re having trouble processing that, I can say it again. I love you. And while it’s not the time to really talk about it, I think you know that I want a life with you. I can’t lose you, Trinity. You mean everything to me.” He kissed her. Long and soft, it spun out and time stopped, and she simply lost herself in him and the amazing way he made her feel.
When he ended the kiss, she felt a little dizzy and it had nothing to do with her head injury and everything to do with the buzz of electricity and love running through her.
She didn’t open her eyes. She simply let herself feel and smiled with the sheer joy of it. “I love you, too.”
Jon pressed his forehead to hers. “Look at me,” he pleaded.
She opened her eyes and stared into his, the blue depths filled with longing. “Stay with me at my place. Let me take care of you.”