Before any words can leave me, his gaze pins me. It’s one of a wounded man. The same vulnerability that plagued me all day stares back at me.
“I couldn’t give two shits if you have money. I don’t care.” The last couple of days play through my mind. “Is that what’s been bothering you?” I ask. “Is it because of my department? I mean it, Adrian.” I lick my lips, rushing my words out and praying he understands just how much I mean it. “If you don’t want to save the department, if it has to go … I would still want you.”
His pace has slowed, but it’s as if he can’t bring himself to end this conversation. Adrian looks down and I swallow hard.
“Adrian. I swear to you. If you need to tell me something, it’s okay.” Reaching for the box of tissues and taking it from him, I attempt to convince him. “If you need to tell me something, you can.” There’s an ache that starts in my chest, but it works its way outward. “I’ll still want you.”
His pale blue eyes come back to mine again. “Suzette.”
“Jobs come and go.” I get a lump in my throat from unshed tears and my love for him. How did this even happen? I’ve never wanted to cover myself more, but I’m on his desk and my clothes are on the floor. “Just like clients. I love my job. I love what I do, and I believe in it. But if something were to happen …” Feeling his eyes on my naked body like this makes me even more emotional. Adrian is so connected to this job for me. I met him here, even though he came to change everything. I don’t know whether I’m just clinging to those memories or if I’m genuinely afraid to lose my job. “If funding fell through …” He doesn’t react at all, other than to pull my hips to the edge of the desk and rest his forehead against mine. “If it all fell to shit and was taken away …”
“Hush.”
I do hush, because I can tell what he wants right now is to lose ourselves in the pleasure of this moment.
“I need you again,” he whispers and I’m shocked as he pushes me back. Still hard, still demanding and as rough as he was earlier.
“I want you and I’ll always want you,” he tells me between thrusts, his voice thick with emotion. My lips crash against his and a wave of emotion spreads through me.
I want to tell him, “That’s all that matters.” But words fail me and strangled moans are all I can offer him.
He groans, “I need more of you.”
I spread my legs wide for him and brace my hands on the desk so he can fuck me as hard as he likes. “Come for me,” he whispers in my ear, and heat explodes between my thighs in clenching pulses that make him groan and pulse. When he’s finished he pulls me off the desk and into his desk chair. I’m straddling him now, his hands on my waist, and I try to catch my breath so I can continue our conversation.
Even if he doesn’t want to. Even if it means being too open, too raw, too needy. I just need him to know exactly how I feel.
“Listen to me.” I take his hand and put it to my chest. “I would survive. I could start my company from scratch. I might not be able to keep the clients, but I would find more. I don’t want you because you can support me, if that’s what you’re worried about. I want you for you. God knows I hated the idea of you when I first saw you but I—” I swallow, and chicken out, backing away from the truth I’m too scared to voice. “I want you.” It’s all that I can say.
It’s true. If I learned one thing from my divorce, it’s that I’ll always be able to find a way to support myself. I might worry about it but if the occasion arises, I’ll handle it. That’s what it means to be a woman in the world. You always have to be able to find a way.
I put both my hands on the sides of his face. “Are you all right?”
He strokes my cheek. “It was only a question. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
“If I should worry, you would tell me, wouldn’t you?”
He looks deep into my eyes and pulls me in for another kiss. This one is deep and slow and it’s like he wants to memorize every part of me. “You don’t have to worry,” Adrian whispers against my lips. “I want you.”
“I want you too.” I pull his lip between my teeth and add a little pressure so he can feel it. His deep groan is everything I needed to hear.
Adrian’s already hard beneath me again, so it takes nothing to lift myself up and ease back down on his thick length. It’s a sweeter connection this time, though he’s just as possessive with me. I lean down and kiss him while we move together. Adrian can’t help but take control, making his thrusts deeper and harder, and it feels so good that it brings on another orgasm. It moves through my body and makes me tip my head back with the kind of ecstasy I’ve been looking for all this time for so long. I never thought I’d find it again and I found it here in Adrian. Here in this most forbidden of arrangements.
When it’s over I open my eyes and look into his. He’s watching me with heat in his expression and love too. “I love you,” I tell him.
He groans and pulls me down onto his cock, fucking me as deep as he ever has. He holds on tightly, as if he never wants to let me go, but he doesn’t say it back.
Adrian
“The penthouse in Tribeca is five million,” I speak clearly, standing in the office and imagining how this office in the high-rise could easily double for temporary housing. I’ll take the meetings in the conference room. “I’ll sell the furniture with it, that should bring it up another million.”
“Business shouldn’t affect your personal—”
“We tallied the numbers with the other assets,” I repeat to my father. My financial advisor is on the phone as well. He’s seen the contract, he knows what deals went down. More importantly, he has a tally of every investment I have. I simply can’t lose the majority of them. If I sell now, I’ll lose so much more than the current value. There is only so much that can give. “I’ll find somewhere cheaper, and that’s far better than losing investments or paying the interest.”
My financial manager, Sean, speaks through the line, “I agree and there are plenty of other markets on the upswing. It could be beneficial in the long run.”
“There’s no reason not to sell the list and dissolve the—” My father attempts to chime in. If I didn’t respect him as much as I do, I’d tell him to fuck off. To get off the line. To get out of my business. But as it stands, he’s my father. He’s just as involved in this deal as he has been in the others. He’s my mentor and I know he means well. That list and Suzette’s departments are nonnegotiable.
I told her I would protect her. And I meant it.
“Yes, there is.”
“I saw the deals, Adrian. Why the hell are you doing this? I didn’t raise you to—”
“Because she’ll hate me,” I bite out, forming a fist as my muscles coil. “This is a business call. If you cannot remain professional, I will take the call alone as I would have preferred to do.”
“Who is she?”
“It’s personal. I’m keeping that investment and I want you to respect that.”