Before I can, he draws me back in as fingers slide into my hair. “Okay.” It’s such a simple word but it seems to mean so much more.
But I’m confused, like I generally am when dealing with him. “Okay? Let’s move closer to the door? Or okay, you’re really kind of annoying so I might as well eat you?”
“Okay as in we’re going to try this,” he says, breaking out that grumbly voice that tells me he thinks I’m being stubborn, and he doesn’t want to explain himself.
I eye him suspiciously. “I know you assume I can read minds because you think I’m super amazing… but I can’t.”
He’s now getting that stubborn look on his face like he’s going to refuse to cooperate.
“Marcus Ann—”
“My middle name is not Ann.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t know it. What did you want to say?”
“I will try… this,” Marcus says as he waves between us. “But I’m promising nothing. And if I eat you, it’s one hundred percent your fault.”
“Did… Did you just ask me out and tell me you might eat me in the same breath? That’s so romantic.”
“Yes, I am the king of romance,” he says dryly.
I’m smiling like a maniac now. “I… you’re not going to savagely tell me you’re joking like ten minutes from now, right? Remember that I’m a human or something, right?”
“Of course not. As if I could forget about that flaw of yours.”
I poke him in the stomach. “Not funny.”
“We can’t tell anyone at work. If you’re planning on continuing to work with us, we shouldn’t be in a relationship. They’re definitely more lenient because they’re not going to replace us vampires, but with you being a human, you might not get that same leniency.”
“I understand. I’ll be an angel, like normal. Everyone loves me.”
He watches me for a moment. “Karsyn asks if he can eat you every day and Wren literally tried eating you. Who loves you again?”
“Love me. Love my blood. Same difference.”
Marcus snorts.
“That’s alright, I’ve got a big bad vampire to protect me from their wrath with his pointy fangs and hot and cold personality.”
“I don’t have a hot and cold personality!”
“‘Stay away! No, Finn! I can’t live without you, where are you going?’” I mock.
“I regret and take back everything I’ve said in the past ten minutes.”
My eyebrows knit in clear concern. “What? No takebacks.”
His eyes narrow as he shakes his head slowly, like he’s disappointed in me. “It’s been taken back so hard.”
I can’t help but jump right into a joke. “Ooh, I like hard things. How hard?”
“So damn hard.”
“Like penis hard?”
“Harder.”
“Ooh. You wanna… show me how hard?”
He’s now fighting off a grin, but failing. “I don’t think you can handle the hardness of it.”
“We could sure try because I know how to handle the hard. I’m just not sure you’re up to the task, ya know? I mean, you are pretty old. Does your…” I glance down at his groin. “Pickle still work?”
“Don’t call it a pickle.”
“Cucumber?”
“Don’t compare my penis to food.”
“Inchworm?”
“Now you’re just being difficult.”
“Penetrating schlong.”
“I have never begun and ended a relationship so quickly in my entire life.”
That one makes me laugh. “You can’t end me. I’m the gift that just keeps giving.”
“Well, it hasn’t even been thirty minutes, I think the receipt still works.”
I shake my head. “Nope. And if we weren’t currently stalking this guy, I’d take a look at how long your receipt is.”
“Wait… what? Your innuendos are getting a little out of control at this point.”
“I’m going to be honest and tell you that I don’t have much experience in flirting. I know I seem like a Casanova, but I haven’t dated much… like two guys. One in high school and the other like five years ago. And I just… I thought I liked him, but he was extremely immature, and I couldn’t stand it. That one lasted two weeks.”
“Oh wow. That’s… impressive.”
I smile at him. “Thank you.”
“I’m not sure whether to be more wowed that someone was more immature than you or that your longest relationship lasted two weeks.”
“The one in high school lasted a month… I think… actually, I’m not sure we ever broke up because we were both too chickenshit. We just stopped talking. So actually, I think I’m still dating him.”
“That is equally impressive. What’s that, an eleven-year relationship?”
“Yes! What about you? Do you have five wives and fifteen children?”
“Thirty children, actually, and zero wives,” he says sarcastically. “They all took after me and are ridiculously good-looking.”
“As long as I’m first in the will, that’s fine.”
“My will? Are you planning on killing me off?”
“Well… how else will I get Artie?”
“Actually, Artemus gets everything. The house, my fortune, my car, even my fridge.”
“What do I get?”
“Um… do you want the saltshaker? You can have the saltshaker if you want. Artemus isn’t a huge fan of salt.”
“Are you serious?” I ask like I’m mystified. “That’s… I don’t know how to thank you. I’m not sure if I even could thank you. It might be the kindest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”
“Wow, you’ll be easy to buy for on Christmas. I might even splurge and get you a matching peppershaker.”
“That’d be very sweet of you.”
“So… while I’d love to continue talking about what I’m going to give you when I die, Perry has left his office now.”
I set a hand against his chest and lean in, wishing to feel more. “Is he coming this way?” I ask.
“No, he’s moved farther away.” He sets a hand against the small of my back and guides me toward the archway that leads to the hallway. “Let’s see if we can get in and out quickly.”
I nod, so he pushes me into the hallway. He starts guiding me toward the office when he hesitates. I stop with my hand on the doorknob. “What’s wrong? Is he coming back?”
He shakes his head, a look on his face that tells me he’s sensing something I can’t. “There’s… something…” He starts walking toward a closed metal door at the end of the hallway. I follow close behind him until he gets about four feet from it and jerks back, holding his hand over his mouth and nose. “That smell…”
“What is it?” I ask as he starts backing away and grabbing for his coat frantically. “What’s wrong? Marcus!”
“Mask, get my mask.”