“Did you?” Liam asked, and she wanted to explode in frustration.
“Yes, but that shouldn’t have mattered! Why should anyone care who funded it? It was an excellent journal that advanced scientific understanding all over the world.”
Patrick abruptly stood. A book fell off his lap and splatted on the ground, but he didn’t pick it up. “I have some errands I need to run. If you’ll excuse me.”
Odd. He didn’t smile or meet her eyes as he strode away. He headed toward the main street, his back stiff.
“Patrick?” she called after him. “Did I say something wrong?”
He held up a hand to acknowledge that he’d heard but didn’t break his pace as he walked away. She looked at Liam, baffled by Patrick’s odd behavior.
Liam frowned. “For a smart woman, sometimes you can be dumber than a stump.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded. After baring her soul, leave it to Liam to start acting like a lout again.
“Patrick is street-smart and book-smart, but he’s soft when it comes to you,” Liam said. “He swallows his pride and lets you lord it over everyone. Hey, don’t look at me like that. You probably can’t help being an uptight Mother Superior, but go easy on him, okay?”
“Was it because I talked about Jasper?” It couldn’t be. Patrick already knew about how badly her marriage had failed and why.
“It’s because you talked about how Jasper was your dolly boy, and Patrick doesn’t want to be your next one.”
“Dolly boy?” she gasped. She’d never heard that expression but could guess what it meant. “I don’t think that way about Patrick. He’s my hero. I dream about him at night. He knows that.”
Liam held up his hand. “I don’t want to hear your seedy dreams about Patrick. All I’m saying is that he’s been a true friend to me, and I won’t stand aside if you toy with him. They say that blood is thicker than water, but it’s not. If push comes to shove, I’d side with Patrick over you and the rest of the Blackstones any day of the week.”
Her mouth went dry, and it felt like the ground was crumbling beneath her feet. There was no time to waste. If she had somehow offended Patrick, she didn’t want another minute to pass before she tried to set it right.
Patrick strode down the street, eyes straight ahead as he plowed through the crowds of people on the sidewalk. It was late in the afternoon, and he needed to get to the tailor’s before they closed. He ought to feel guilty for the way people parted to let him pass, but he was too angry. The story of Gwen’s fortune-hunting husband was seared on his mind. Were they to marry, that would be the assumption everyone made about Patrick too. No matter what he accomplished in life, no matter how true their feelings for each other, people would brand him a fortune hunter until the day he died.
He needed to cancel the order on the suit she’d bought for him. He never should have let her buy it in the first place. The suit he bought last month was fine. Better than fine! It was custom-made to his size, and anyone who looked down their nose at it could take a flying leap into the sea.
“Patrick!”
Gwen’s shout came from a block or two away. He didn’t want to see her and quickened his steps.
“Patrick, wait!”
Her pleading tone scorched him. He hated hurting her, but unless she gave him the breathing room to be his own man, their relationship was doomed. He paused in front of a millinery shop and waited for her to catch up. She was breathless as she grabbed onto his arm.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. “What did I do wrong?”
It was humiliating to even explain it to her, but she deserved the truth. Having this out on a busy street corner wasn’t ideal, but he didn’t want to go back to the dorm, where Liam might overhear.
“I shouldn’t have let you buy me that suit,” he said. “I’m heading over to cancel the order.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said. “I’ve already paid for it.”
“Then I need to pay you back. A man has to have some pride, Gwen. I don’t like taking money from you any more than Jasper did.”
She flinched and stepped back a little. “I hardly think you’re an expert on Jasper.”
“I know you bought him that scientific journal and he resented the way it made him look to the rest of the world.”
He walked over to the bench on the edge of the sidewalk, bracing his hands against the back of it. She didn’t understand. Someone like her probably never could, but he had to try. His anger drained away, and he spoke without heat.
“My dad died before I can remember, so we were always poor,” he said. “When we lived in Ireland, all my clothes came out of the charity bin. I hated going to school, because other kids knew I was wearing their castoffs. The taunting got so bad that I’d walk a couple of miles to a neighboring village and rummage through their poor bin, because there might be a shirt or a pair of shoes with a little more life, and then the kids at school wouldn’t know where they came from. That isn’t something a man forgets. I won’t ever be reduced to begging again.”
Gwen looked stricken. “But I think only the best of you! Your generosity, your bravery. Patrick, I love you.”
He looked away, unable to say the words in return. As much as he cared for her, they were going too fast. He’d underestimated the chasm dividing their worlds. Everything had been easy when they were alone on a fire escape, but in the real world, there were daily reminders of how far beneath her he was.
“I think the world of you, Gwen,” he stammered, hating to see the hope fade from her face. She was trying so hard to be brave, but the hurt was impossible to miss.
“What’s changed?” she asked. “I’m the same person I’ve always been.”
“Your family won’t accept a man like me.”
She shook her head. “They’re good people. Some are a little snobby, but that’s true in any family, isn’t it? Don’t let my bad experience with Jasper mean we can’t have a future. Please don’t abandon me. I need you. Liam needs you.”
“I’m not going to bail out, Gwen. I’ll go to the island and help Liam as best I can.” But he didn’t know if he had a future with her after that, and it hurt.
He grabbed her shoulders and kissed her on the mouth, long and deep. She was everything that was good and pure and optimistic. His kiss was full of desperation, but he forced himself to withdraw.
“I adore you, but I don’t know if we can weather the storm ahead of us.”
“Whatever happens, we’ll face it together, Patrick.” She reached up to embrace him, and he returned it, holding her tightly and wishing he could believe her. Over her shoulder, he saw a Help Wanted sign in the millinery shop window, carrying the familiar phrase No Irish Need Apply.
Gwen was an open-minded woman, but he doubted her family would be any more eager to accept an Irishman than the shopkeeper who put that horrible sign in the window, and he feared the storm ahead was going to be bad.
26
Patrick tried to go on as before, but everything got more difficult after the afternoon in front of the millinery shop. He canceled the order for the new suit, but it didn’t help the awkwardness he felt with Gwen. His inability to return her declaration of love hung like a black cloud shadowing every conversation.