Actually, now that I’m getting outside my own head for a second, this is pretty cool. There are TV cameras up on a platform by the announcer’s booth, and all the fans have little flags or those giant foam hands. It’s a packed stadium, and everyone looks like they’re having fun. I can almost feel their energy seeping into me.
Wow. I’m feeling great. Happy, giddy, full-of-energy great. Maybe I should’ve been going to games at my old college. This isn’t bad at all.
I sit back and watch the athletic girls in blue pleated skirts, waving their pompoms and moving their arms in unison. I don’t know what changes, but suddenly I’m seeing Manda’s face on the girl in the middle.
But that’s not possible. Manda went to some posh all-girls school.
I blink, and Manda’s face is gone, but instead of feeling the joyful buzz of the crowd, I’m filled with anger and hate. I want to shove those pompoms down those girls’ throats. I know it’s wrong to judge a book by its cheer moves, but I can’t help thinking of Manda and her friends on the gallows. I want to watch them hang.
“Ooph!” That stabbing pain returns to my chest, and I press my hand over my heart.
“Are you all right?” Bren asks.
“Yeah.” I wince, trying to breathe through it, but the pain isn’t going away this time. It’s getting stronger.
The home team streams out of the locker room onto the field, and everyone but me hops to their feet, going wild. “Go Blue! Go Blue!”
Then I see him. Blake.
My blood turns from a tepid ninety-seven-something degrees to a blistering red-hot hate. Not because of what he did to me, but because in my mind, I’m seeing him hurting River—him pushing her to the wall, covering her mouth. His fucking cronies slamming her into their SUV. River fighting for her life.
The pain continues in my chest, but I drink it in with my rage. Fuckers deserve to die.
With helmet in hand, Blake stops in his tracks on the field, turns, and looks straight at me. Yes, thousands of people are yelling and cheering, and he’s looking right at me. Then he turns and runs toward the center of the field. The ref gestures for Blake to get his ass back with his team, but Blake doesn’t listen.
While everyone watches with laughs and frowns, Blake starts yelling.
I wish everyone would shut up so I can hear.
The stadium goes silent.
I look around at all the serious faces. Did I do that? Or did everyone decide to listen? I’m not sure, but now I hear Blake just fine.
“I hurt that woman!” he yells. “I hurt that woman because I was jealous.” Blake points in our direction. “Then I tried to kill her and her best friend. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything bad I’ve ever done to anyone. I hope they’ll forgive me!”
Still standing with the rest of the spectators, River leans forward and looks at me with wide eyes. “What’s going on?”
I shrug. “I don’t kn—”
Blake’s knees buckle, and he flops on his back on the field, out cold.
The ref and coach, who were already walking toward Blake, get to him first. A few players run over to check Blake out. Suddenly, the medic is called, and the crowd goes crazy with gasps and worries.
Me? I can’t stop seeing last night replay in my mind. Blake hurting River. Blake grabbing her breast. Blake planning to end her life.
White-hot rage dots my vision. I stand, my fists turning to solid bricks meant for crushing skulls.
“Huff, what’s wrong?” asks Keni. She seems genuinely concerned. Strange.
I turn my head, and she’s looking up at me, her green eyes filled with an odd sort of wonder or levity.
“I’m fine.” But I’m far from fine. Something inside me is coming unhinged.
Before I speak another word, I’m down on the field next to Blake. There’s a circle of people around him, and one is giving CPR.
His eyes flutter open, and he groans in agony.
Die, you sonofabitch. Die. His eyes meet mine, and this time, I mouth the word. Die.
He does.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
I killed Blake. I killed him right in front of thousands of people, and no one suspects a thing.
What worries me most is that I don’t feel remorse. The guy tried to kill River. He tried to kill me. And for what? Because he didn’t want to face the consequences of assaulting her? His precious football career was worth more to him than our lives. It’s hard to feel bad over a psycho like that, especially when you think about what it would have done to our families.
And, just great, now I have to worry about the other thoughts running through my head. Like hunting down Manda. Who’s to say that this hasn’t happened to me for a reason? Because the truth is, the only other thing I’ve wished for more than this transformation is justice for Joy. Now it feels like everything is being handed to me on a silver platter.
“Hey,” says River, running up behind me while I exit the stadium, where people are crying or are heartlessly taking pictures.
“Hey,” I reply without slowing my brisk pace.
“Huff, why did you go down on the field?”
I remain silent, marching in the direction of my dorm.
“Huff, answer me.” She grabs my arm to stop me.
I turn and look down at her sweet oval face. “I think you’d better stay away from me, Riv.”
“What? Why?”
“It’s not safe.” I’m being sincere. What if I got angry at her and inadvertently made her head explode?
“Huff, come on. You could never hurt me.”
“You don’t know that, River.”
“Of course I do.”
“I just killed Blake by wishing it,” I whisper.
“What? I think you’re losing it, Huff. That guy takes massive roids. I told him he needed to stop before his heart imploded, and he didn’t listen.”
“Then what about the confession he made right before he dropped dead?”
“Who knows? He was probably on something, and the guilt was too much. Guys like him act tough, but they’re not. They have deep-seated—”
“Not interested in your pseudo-psych right now, Riv.”
Her brown eyes narrow into angry little slits. “Don’t be rude.”
“All right, then I’ll be honest: I don’t want you hanging around me anymore.”
“Huff!”
“I mean it.” I try to think of something that will piss her off. I have to get her to stay away. “Every time I’m around you, bad shit happens. I never should have come here. I never should’ve stayed friends with you after Joy died. We all know you could’ve helped her if you’d just run to the field and told the principal. But no, you wasted your time coming to find me while Joy was getting the shit kicked out of her face.”
River’s jaw drops, her lower lip quivering. “I can’t believe you said that.”
“Why? It’s the truth. And you know it is because you’ve thought it a million times. Isn’t that really why you moved away? The guilt. You couldn’t stand seeing my face, knowing what you did.”
“That’s bullshit! We moved because my parents were afraid for my life. That town is fucked in the head.”