Why did I agree to share a suite with him?
Taking in a deep breath, I counted to three before exhaling on four breath counts. If Locke noticed my unease, he didn’t show it. He wasn’t talking, and he didn’t move from where he was sitting. Aimlessly, he just stared out the window like it had the answers to all the questions that were obviously plaguing him.
I breathed in and out a few more times until I couldn’t take his silence anymore and had to ask, “You really haven’t been back since you left?”
Without looking at me, he simply stated, “There was nothing there for me anymore.”
I winced, narrowing my eyes at him. “You really think that, don’t you?”
“I don’t think, I know.”
“I was there,” I reminded, standing my ground on the truth. “So were my parents and my brother. Despite what you said to me the night of his wedding, I was still waiting for you to come back home, Julian. You wanted to cut ties with me, then you didn’t need to do that with my entire family. They had nothing to do with us.”
“They had everything to do with us.”
“Bullshit. That’s just an excuse you’ve convinced yourself of to excuse your shitty behavior. They didn’t deserve what you did to them.”
“Neither did you.”
“I don’t want to talk about us.”
“Then don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to.”
“I’m talking about my family. They mourned the loss of you as if you died. You didn’t even say goodbye to them.”
“How many times do I have to tell you it was the only way I could leave you?”
“Oh,” I snapped, feeling his response in the pit of my stomach. “So saying goodbye to me made it easy for you to leave?” I nodded. “Good to know.”
“I thought you didn’t want to talk about us?”
“Ugh! You’re the most stubborn man I have ever met! Do you know that?”
“I’ve been called worse, sweetheart.”
“Stop staring out the window and fucking look at me, Julian!”
Reluctantly, he did.
“You could have left town and still had a relationship with them.”
“In one way or another, it still would have included you in it.”
“Who cares?! We were friends once, and after some time, we could have been friends again.”
His expression quickly turned heated. “I’ve tasted you, kid. From your mouth, to your pussy, to every inch of your body. I stole your first kiss, your first orgasm, your first fuck—there’s no coming back from that, Autumn.”
“You also stole my heart. Let’s not forget that.”
“Yes,” he agreed. “I stole that too.”
“Not only did you steal it, but you also broke it, and don’t you ever forget that.”
“You have all the answers to your questions built-in, kid.”
“Again, that has nothing to do with my family.”
“Knowing you were always mine, do you honestly think I would have been able to see you move on from me? Come on, Autumn. You know me better than that.”
“If I was able to see you sleep with half of Texas, I’m sure you would have lived, Julian.”
“Up until four days ago, my life has been completely private. All it took was seeing you with good ol’ fucking Charlie, and I didn’t hesitate to tell the world who you belong to.” He cocked his head to the side. “How’s that for living?”
“You make it sound like moving on from you was easy.”
“It would have been worse had I stayed for your parents and your brother.”
“I didn’t say you had to stay, but you still could have kept in touch with them.”
“And the second someone would have told me about a new man in your life, I would have flown back and done something incredibly stupid, landing him in the ICU and me in jail. Is that what you would have wanted?”
“Of course not.”
“I couldn’t bear to tell your family goodbye. I couldn’t explain to them why I was leaving—see the devastation on their faces when I told them. It would have been too hard—too painful. It would've felt like a betrayal.” He paused for a moment. “You wanted the truth, kid, and I’m giving you the fucking truth. These are just a few things you need to consider before you start attacking me about what I should and shouldn’t have done.”
“But lying about our current relationship seems reasonable to you?”
“I didn’t lie.” He shook his head. “I want you back in my bed.”
“The same bed you’ve probably shared with thousands of women? No thanks, I’ll pass.”
“No woman has ever been in my bed.”
I rolled my eyes. “Is this where you tell me you haven’t had sex since me?”
“No. I’m a man, Autumn, I fuck.”
Hearing him say those words didn’t surprise me, but the next ones he openly shared were staggering, nearly stopping my heart, leaving me awestruck and blindsided when he confessed…
“I’ve never made love to anyone but you.”
—Julian—
“Has anyone ever told you that you come on a little strong?”
I was prepared for the animosity she’d have toward me, but it still hurt like a son of a bitch that she kept blowing off my sincerity.
Instead of losing my temper yet again, I changed the subject. “How about you tell me how your family is doing?”
She shrugged, not giving me an inch. “Call them and ask them yourself.”
“Or you could save them from telling me to go to Hell, and just answer my question.”
“Fine.” She caved. “My parents are doing great. My dad is still working at his firm, and my mom is impatiently waiting on grandkids from Christian and Kinley.”
“Not from you?”
She shook her head. “Not from me.”
“What field did your brother end up in?”
“Believe it or not, he’s a gynecologist.”
Despite feeling out of control, which was never a good thing, I chuckled. “That doesn’t surprise me.”
“Really?”
“No. Your brother has always loved pussy.”
“Ew.” She flinched. “Gross. Don’t ever say that to me again.”
“How are he and Kinley?”
“Good, I guess. I don’t see them very often.”
“Why is that?”
“I don’t live in Texas.”
I arched an eyebrow, surprised at her response. “Where are you living?”
“None of your business, Mr. Locke.”
“So we’re back to that now?”
“We never left.”
“You’re worse than whiplash, kid. How about you save me the trouble of pulling your records from HR and tell me yourself?”
“That’s illegal.”
“It would only be illegal if I wasn’t your boss.”
“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not your employee? I’m not beneath you—I’m your equal.”