They weren’t.
They were staring me in the face, like a fucking beacon of bright lights. Blinding my sight with nothing but conflicting emotions about him, us, our family.
Shit. Did I just say our family? You’re not a family, Autumn. He’s the father of your child. You’re moving in with him for Capri to get to know him with you being there to make the transition easier for her. This is for your daughter.
Not. For. You.
Not. For. Him.
I repeated the words, desperately trying to believe them. I should have never let him touch me. It just added more fire to our already blazing inferno.
“Robert,” Julian bit. “You either make it happen or I’ll find someone who will.” With that, he abruptly hung up his call.
“Wow, you’re just peachy keen to everyone today.”
Smirking, he placed his cellphone back into his suit jacket. “You of all people should know my patience wears thin.”
“You are aware our daughter is going to test all your limits, right?”
“She’s different.”
“How? Patience is not your virtue. You just admitted it yourself.”
“I have over nine years to make up for, Autumn. My patience is going to be endless when it comes to her.”
“We’ll see.” I looked at the driver. “You can pull up to my window and I’ll punch in my code into the security box.”
“Or you could just give it to him.”
My gaze shifted to Julian’s statement. “I don’t want you to have access to my neighborhood.”
“We’re back to this?”
I ignored him, dialing the code.
“Let me guess, it’s either your birthday or Capri’s?”
“Nope.”
“Would you tell me if it was?”
“Nope.” I looked at the driver. “It’s the house at the end of the road, 2473.”
He nodded through the mirror and moments later we were pulling into my driveway. My home was beautiful, it was three stories, coastal living kind of vibes since we were on the water. It was perfect for Capri, Emily, and me. Emily was our nanny, she’d been with us since Capri was three. I actually met her through one of my mom’s friends, she was around her age, and had moved with us through a couple of cities and states. She was the best and we were lucky to have her.
“You did good for yourself, kid. Your home is beautiful. I’m sure Capri has fond memories here.”
The satisfaction I felt by hearing him say those words was a feeling I didn’t think I’d have.
“Thanks.”
“When you’re ready for me to come inside, you know where to find me.”
I nodded, instantly feeling relieved he was following through on our deal. Although, I knew he meant his statement as a double innuendo. “Okay.” I opened the door, but at the last second, I turned around. “Oh, and umm… thank you for allowing me to talk to Capri alone. I appreciate it and I know she will too.”
“I would have allowed it regardless of you coming in my mouth.”
My gaze snapped to the driver. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.”
He chuckled. “I’ve driven for Mr. Locke for a long time. There’s nothing I haven’t heard.”
I shot Julian a questionable expression, wondering how many women he might have entertained in the back of his car.
“I have an extended office in San Diego as well.”
“Great, is there any state you don’t have an office in?”
“I own the world.”
“I see that.”
“And now I have a family to enjoy it with.”
“Julian, I’m not your family.”
“You’ve always been my home.”
I knew I wouldn’t win this argument with him, so I shut the door and made my way toward the entrance of my house. My heart was beating out of my chest, I had no idea what I was going to say or how I was going to say it to her. I figured it would be easier and smoother if I spoke from my heart and not a speech I had prepared.
Capri could always see through me, she had the same power as her dad. It was one of the reasons I moved from Texas to begin with. The older she got, the more she started to possess a lot of his traits or maybe it was obvious to me since I knew the truth.
His stubbornness.
His perceptiveness.
Having no filter.
She was wicked smart like him too. She even had some of his mannerisms, holding her fork in the same way he did, she was left-handed like him. Loved old classic cars like Julian.
It was surreal.
Capri had my appearance, but she was her father’s daughter in every other way. Pushing away those thoughts, I inhaled a solid breath as I unlocked the door and walked inside.
“Capri?” I called out, laying my purse on the entryway table.
“I’m in the kitchen with Emily, Momma!”
Quickly, I rushed into the kitchen. Excited to see my girl.
“Momma!” She jumped into my arms. “I missed you so much! I’m so happy you’re home early! I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow?”
I tightly squeezed her against my chest. My girl was getting so big. She’d be ten in a couple of months.
“I missed you, baby.” I kissed the top of her head.
“Momma, are you okay?” See, perceptive as all hell.
I nodded, glancing at Emily. “Thank you for everything.”
“Of course. I’ll let you two get reacquainted. I’m going to get the groceries for the week.”
“Oh, yeah… umm… you can just buy groceries for yourself. Capri and I won’t need anything.”
“We won’t?” Capri asked, looking up at me. “Are we going somewhere?”
I nervously laughed. “Something like that.”
“Sounds great,” Emily replied. “You can tell me all about when I get back.”
I smiled, and she left.
Giving my girl another big hug, I coaxed, “Baby, we need to talk.” Julian was waiting in the SUV, I didn’t have a lot of time to tell her what was going on, needing to get right to the point sooner rather than later.
“Am I in trouble?”
“No, you’re not in trouble, but what we need to talk about is serious, so let’s go in the living room and sit down.”
“Okay.”
Once we were sitting on the couch, I grabbed her hands in my lap.
“Momma, you look really pale. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Mmm-hmm… I’m just having a little trouble finding the right words to say.”
The concern was evident on her beautiful face. “What’s this about?”
“You know how I told you that I was taking on a client that I used to know?”
“Yeah, you spent the last week with him, right?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Is this about him?”
“Yes, baby, it is.”
“What is it? Do you like him or something? Because it wouldn’t bother me, Momma. I’d love to have a daddy. All my friends have daddies.”
“Honey.” I paused, needing a second. It absolutely killed me she missed out on having a father and was starting to feel his absence so profoundly. I tried my best, always playing both roles, but in the end… she longed for her dad. Making me feel intensely guilty I waited this long to tell him.