Joy lit.
So intense.
I slowly eased her onto her feet, but I didn’t let her go. Just hugged her and rocked her in the middle of our kitchen.
“I love you, so much,” she whispered.
“Luckiest man alive,” I murmured, barely able to speak with the clot of emotion that had gathered in my throat.
Luckiest man alive.
One who was barely treading water.
Fear burned up my throat. Sticky and tight.
I’d tried. Tried to cut ties. Only for Keeton to reel me back in. My obligation to him a millstone around my neck.
I didn’t do much. Just the few jobs he required.
Problem was, Maddie didn’t know. And I couldn’t let her.
This betrayal, the lies, so heavy I didn’t know how I continued to stand up straight.
She would hate me if she knew. Couldn’t handle it, if she left me.
I needed her.
God. I needed her so bad.
I hugged her tighter.
Knowing the only thing I could do was shelter her from it.
Shield her from the depravity that I was trying to get out from under. Buying my way out.
Soon.
Soon we’d be free.
Until then? I would protect her and our child with everything I had.
Leif, Twenty-Four Years Old
A rattled cry filled the room.
My chest tightened and my eyes burned and my heart felt like it was going to bust out from behind my ribs.
The amount of love that filled me devastating.
Crushing.
This tiny, precious thing was set on Maddie’s chest. My girl weeping from the exhaustion. From the joy. From the shock.
Her hair drenched with sweat and her face drenched with tears.
She pressed her lips to our baby’s head while I pressed my lips to the top of hers.
Unable to believe this was my life.
That I’d been given this. Trusted with it.
“I love you. You did it. You did it,” I mumbled, barely able to speak with the emotion that filled everything to overflowing.
I was talking to them both.
My only truth.
Maddie smiled this smile through her tears, running her shaking hands over every inch of our daughter.
“She’s perfect. She’s perfect.”
I could barely nod.
Overwhelmed.
Overcome.
I kissed Maddie’s temple. Set my hand on Haylee’s back.
My hand close to eclipsing her entire body she was so small.
But her eyes? They were so big when they looked up at me.
In trust.
Devotion thrummed deep.
A massive demand that shouted in my ear.
This—this was my duty.
My reason.
My purpose.
I had to get free. For them. So I could be the man they needed me to be.
The second I walked through the door, she squealed. Clamored off the floor where she was playing with paper dolls.
She jumped to her feet.
Footsteps my perfect drumbeat.
A rhythm I felt to the deepest part of me.
She threw her arms into the air as she ran in my direction.
Blonde, shiny curls bounced around her little shoulders, and her smile was so big I didn’t know how it fit on her face.
“Daddy!”
Love rushed at the sound of her sweet voice.
At her trust.
This adoration I had overwhelming. So much that sometimes it felt like too much.
I swept her off her feet.
She curled her arms around my neck. “I missed you. Don’t ever leave me.”
A smile edged my mouth. She told me that every time I left.
“I will always come back for you.”
I prayed I was telling the truth.
I’d tried for years to get loose. Keeton would always reel me back in.
Threats.
Reasons.
His hold on me a noose.
But I couldn’t keep doing this—walking out that door and not knowing if I’d return. If I’d be taken in a strike of violence, knowing what that would do to Maddie and my baby girl.
“It’s over. I can’t keep doing this.” I stared down Keeton in the middle of the night. He’d called me in once again. Saying it was urgent. Holding this bullshit over my head. “I’ve got a family, and this isn’t the life I want.”
Never was to begin with.
In the middle of it before I’d known what had hit me.
Nothing but a sixteen-year-old kid bribed with a shiny new bike like I was a five-year-old being suckered into the back of a van with a piece of candy.
“Six months ago, you said I was done. And now you’re demanding I come back? This is bullshit.”
Keeton rocked back in his chair. “We need you right now. Things are shaky with Krane and his crew.”
Yeah. They always were.
I gave him a harsh shake of my head. “And you know I can’t fix that.”
“Think you might be the only one who can.”
“I’m done, Keeton. I mean it. You want to end me for walking? So be it. But I’m no longer your pawn.”
His face flashed displeasure, hard because the asshole didn’t like to be crossed.
I stood my ground. Think he knew I was serious this time.
“Fine, Leif. You want to be cut out? See this deal through, and you’re free. Honorable discharge.” He cracked a menacing grin.
He and I both knew there was nothing honorable about it.
I fought the disquiet that sparked.
The disbelief that Keeton would ever actually let me go.
I edged back and rapped a fist on the table.
“After this shipment? You forget I exist.”
Twenty-Nine
Mia
A light breeze whispered at the windows, the sound soothing and calm, washing over us where we lie in the middle of my bed.
Legs tangled under the covers and our hearts beating in sync.
Both of us were on our sides, facing each other, no words needed for the long minutes that passed as we fought to find our breaths.
I’d let him take me again because I’d known he’d needed it after what he’d revealed on the painting. If I were being truthful, I’d needed it, too.
The connection.
The physical promise that I was there.
Leif threaded his fingers through mine and brought the back of my hand to his lips.
He kissed me there.
Gently.
Reverently.
Tingles spread.
Emotion right behind it.
Those brown-sugared eyes searched mine. Tonight, they were so soft that I could feel them seeping through my flesh.
“Will you tell me about them?” I asked into the lapping shadows of my room, my voice quieted to make sure I didn’t disturb the kids.
He flinched, but then, with our hands still twined, he reached up and brushed his knuckles down my jaw. “Not sure it’s something you want to hear about.”
Nervously, my tongue swept across my dried, swollen lips. “I want to know you, Leif.”
“And I’m terrified for you to know that person, Mia. Terrified for you to know the real me.”
I reached out and trembled my fingers across his lips. “I already see the real you, and I know there is no reason to be afraid.”
He blinked, as if he wanted to shut me out. “That’s you projecting again, Mia. Seeing what you want to see.”