Breath harsh, he pressed his forehead to Juliet’s again. When she went to pull away, he held her to him with the hand cupping the back of her head. “This isn’t anything shallow, Jules, and we are friends.” He’d fucking cried in front of her.
Jacob Esera never cried.
Not even in Calypso’s room.
Not even at her funeral.
All those tears knotted up inside him, and it was only Juliet who’d broken the dam.
Her eyes were wide, wet, and yes, scared. “Jake.” It was a plea. “I have the tabloids following me—your family is so private. They’ll drive you insane. And… I’m messed up inside.”
“So am I.”
“I know.” A hand cupping his cheek. “You know how to let loose, play, I’ve seen it, but most of the time… Jake, you like things a certain way, don’t enjoy change. The steadiness in you, it draws me so much”—huge, dark eyes unshielded and open to him—“but that’s not who I am.”
She pressed her fingers to his lips when he would’ve spoken. “I change hair colors as often as I change my nails. I’m the air and the wind to your earth and rock. I don’t know who I’ll become as the years pass, but I know I’m never going to be static. And I know I can’t and won’t live according to someone else’s rules. Not ever again.”
Things hurt inside him as they shifted and repositioned. “But you don’t change people, Jules,” he said in a rough whisper. “You stick by your people even when they kick that soft heart of yours. I can’t think of anything better than being your number one person.”
Her lower lip quivered.
Jake wasn’t done fighting for her. “What if you take my hand and lead me into a life less rigid and defined by rules?” The idea of returning to the gray calm of a life without Juliet wasn’t one he was willing to contemplate. “What if I can be the steady heart of your life and you be my wings, teach me to fly past the walls I like to build? What if, Jules?”
“Don’t call me Jules.” It was a shaky rebuff with no strength behind it. “What if we screw up?”
“Then we live with it.” He brushed back her hair. “This is the biggest leap I’ve ever taken. Leap with me. Be my wings.”
Scared eyes, her pupils dilated. But then she kissed him and his heart beat again. Tugging her into his lap, he held her close as he kissed her with every ounce of skill he had. He’d fight with every tool at his disposal—including the combustible chemistry between them.
But she was the one who slayed him when she began to gently, tenderly kiss the fading remnants of tears off his cheeks. Arms locking tight around her, he sat there and took that too. Because this was Jules.
26
Juliet Nelisi: Explorer of an Alien World
Juliet stared at herself in the bathroom mirror in her hotel room. She’d returned there to put herself to rights while Jake did the same in his room. He’d be waking Esme soon, and they still needed to finish their work.
“I must’ve lost my mind,” she said, and her voice was rough from the tears she’d shed for her lost friend—and for Jake, who carried so much guilt for something he could’ve never stopped.
Sometimes I can’t remember what Calypso looked like when she laughed.
Her heart broke all over again. To see big, tough Jacob Esera cry… Her own eyes burned once more. Not only had he cried, he’d done so for a girl he’d loved as a boy. The man could feel and feel deep. What would it be like to have his loyalty?
I can’t think of anything better than being your number one person.
Things tore open inside her. She wanted what he was offering so much. Which was also why it was so terrifying. If they tried and it all crashed and burned, she’d have to give up Jake. At least now they could be friends—because he was right. They were already friends. She trusted him to keep her secrets and not use them against her. He trusted her to do the same.
With Jake, she never had to tiptoe around anything. Their every interaction was based on honesty.
But if she thought she could have him, only to have to give him up again…
It was lead in her veins, scalding ice in her gut.
Because the truth was, she was half in love with him already.
Legs shaky, she sat down on the wide tiled ledge that surrounded the bath. “Oh, Juliet.” Talk about self-destructive. To fall for Jacob Esera? A man so far out of her reach that she might as well be clawing for the moon?
It wasn’t only his fame or his wealth. It was his family. The Bishop-Esera name was respected in every corner of the country. Among the Samoan community, they were all but revered. While she was a screwed-up girl from the wrong side of the tracks. One who’d made good but who’d never shake her history.
Juliet hated the idea of her notoriety dragging Jake’s family into the tabloids. The thought that Esme might have to go from a little girl who had a fairly normal life to a child who had to be wary of a camera flash, it made her want to throw up.
It won’t be the same when you’re part of Jake’s family.
The words came from the few neurons that hadn’t drowned in the emotional storm inside her. She remembered the call from Thea Arsana. A call that had come because Jake had contacted Molly with a request for help for Juliet. Suddenly, instead of being caught in a nightmare, she’d taken control of the entire situation.
The media against the entire Bishop-Esera clan?
No fucking contest.
Rolling her lips inward, she smiled and it was shaky. But it was there. Because in the memory of how they’d dealt with the scandal was hope. Having Jake at her back massively changed the equation.
And… he’d said he needed her. To be his wings. To drag him outside the safe gray walls of his life. He’d cried in her arms. Told her things she was sure he’d told no one else. Jake, so contained and reserved that the public called him the Saint, had opened himself up and invited her in.
Her. Bad-girl Jules. He knew her, had seen the good and the bad… and the soft. Her vulnerability hadn’t turned him off—the way he’d said it, it was as if he’d always seen past her prickly outer shell. He wasn’t inviting in a fantasy idea of her or the person he wanted her to be. No, Jake was inviting her.
Juliet just had to be brave enough to accept the invitation.
Jake wasn’t sure Juliet would come back, but about fifteen minutes after she’d left, she used the keycard he’d given her to reenter his suite. He’d woken his sleepy baby girl in the interim and he currently held her very grumpy form in his lap while she rubbed her eyes and scowled. Without her glasses, her eyes were huge—she looked like a bad-tempered owl.
“I was sleeping,” she said very precisely to him.
“I know, Boo, but we had a deal, remember?”
“He’s right, Esme,” Juliet said. “Also, your dad’s scared you’ll turn into a vampire if you sleep all day and are up all night, and that you’ll come attack him while he sleeps.” She made claws with her hands, bared her teeth.
A giggle from his grumpy girl before she held out her arms toward Juliet. A minute pause… then Juliet picked her up and settled down on the other sofa. His warm, sleep-mussed daughter stayed in Juliet’s lap while Juliet opened up her laptop and began to go through their schedule for tomorrow.