“I like how you see things.” I reached under his chin and tilted his head up so I could kiss his lips. “You are a very special man. You know that, don’t you?”
He smiled, not willing to commit to it, but he leaned into my hand and kissed my fingers sweetly. “You make me feel special.”
At that moment, I knew without a doubt that I was going to spend the rest of my life showing him exactly how special he was.
He just didn’t realize it yet.
Chapter 18
Joseph
Cookies weren’t quite as good as brownies, but I got to dunk them in milk, so it was fun.
As Daddy finished cleaning up the last of the dishes, I danced my snowman around the table. Daddy was right, he was going to need friends. The big question was snow friends or real animal friends. Would he be upset to be the only magical creature? Maybe he wanted to hang out with others like him?
We could probably find him—
“Are you ready?”
Daddy’s question had me deciding to ask him. “Do you think my snowman needs real animal stuffies as friends or more magical ones like he is?”
Daddy cocked his head, studying my cuddly snowman.
“I think he needs both. Some regular animal friends because they might end up being great to hang out with and some magical ones so he doesn’t forget how special he is.” Then Daddy leaned in and kissed my nose. “Let’s get you a bath. It’s getting late.”
Daddy said he’d gotten distracted playing with me and had started dinner too late, but I thought our adventure to save the world was much more important than chicken. Daddy said we were going to have to agree to disagree on that one.
He was silly.
He was also going to make me talk about the binkie and the bottle.
When I nodded and picked my snowman off the table, Daddy stood and opened the bag that had been sitting there like a very embarrassing bomb. I could feel my little side start to retreat in the face of the conversation, but I clung to it, keeping some of the simpler emotions to wrap around me like a blanket.
Daddy carefully washed the binkie and bottle before setting the bottle on the counter to dry. As he came back over with the binkie, he smiled. “I think I want to look for some new pajamas for you when we get back to a real town. We might have to order them online, but I want some pjs just for when you’re little.”
Nodding, I focused on that. “Like Star Wars?”
He chuckled. “Yes, or maybe the zip-up ones like we talked about before.”
That would be fun. “Red ones.”
Daddy smiled even wider. “Red ones it is.”
When he took my hand and led me out of the kitchen, I thought we were going to head right upstairs, but he made a detour to the couch. He sat down, tugging me onto his lap so I could curl into him. If he really wanted to talk, this was probably the best way to do it. It was like Winnie the Pooh’s thinking spot, but better, because Daddy was with me.
And this way I wouldn’t have to look at his face.
He was patient as I wiggled and found the perfect place on his neck to hide my face in. Daddy just stroked my back and legs, probably waiting for me to wear myself out. He was smart because eventually even I had to stop squirming and just relax.
“I would like you to tell me about the binkie.” There was no stress in his voice, just calm curiosity. “What do you think of when you look at it?”
Daddy rolled the binkie around in his hand, making no effort to hide it or to make me touch it. So, of course, I had to touch it. I wasn’t afraid of it and I didn’t want him to think I was. Picking it up, I caressed the soft plastic.
“It’s not quite big enough, but I think it should work fine.” He probably thought talking about the practical side would make easing into the discussion easier, but I wasn’t going to wuss out.
He was Daddy.
Nothing I said would change how he saw me.
“It will. I had one a long time ago.” As I started to talk, his hand stroked over my head and I felt him press a kiss to the area he’d just caressed.
The familiar, innocent gesture had something deep in me relaxing. “I got it from a pharmacy by my high school. You can buy all kinds of stuff from regular stores as long as you roll your eyes and say how easily kids lose things or complain about having to run errands. No one questions an asshole teenager.”
Daddy’s chest jerked up and down as he quietly laughed. “Even I probably wouldn’t. A young man looking nervous or embarrassed would catch my eye more.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I picked that up from a guy I followed online.”
“It’s smart.” Daddy kissed my head again and waited.
“I got a bottle too later, but I started with the binkie because that was easier to hide.” And for some reason, I’d thought it would be easier to explain a random binkie than a bottle. That seemed stupid now, but teenage logic was an interesting thing.
Daddy chuckled again. “It’s smaller, so I can see that.”
He was probably expecting more random information because he actually asked a real question next. “What did you think of it?”
I let out my breath slowly and focused on the way his arms felt and how he’d looked at me when he’d made love to me yesterday. With that image firmly in my mind, I forced my muscles to relax. “I liked it. I used it a lot when no one was home and I was…figuring things out.”
That wasn’t technically a euphemism for jerking off, but yeah, most of the time that’d been the end result of my internet searches and fantasies. “I’d play around online and read blogs, then I’d watch videos and then…you know…but I had the binkie in…and after a while when I looked at the binkie I got…”
Fucking Pavlovian responses.
Brains were fucked-up creatures.
Daddy made a sound like the lightbulb had just gone off. “So you become aroused with the binkie; it’s not soothing.”
I snorted. “Well, it depends on your definition of soothing.”
That made Daddy laugh, but it was a happy sound that made me feel lighter. When he kissed my head again I was smiling even though I was still a little embarrassed about admitting it. As he hugged me tight, I could feel him relaxing. Had he been worried about what I would say? Daddy didn’t like it when I worried, but I didn’t realize that it could be just as stressful for him, only for different reasons.
“Would you prefer that we just use the binkies and bottles for more kink type play and not use them for when you’re actually little or do you not want to use them at all?” The casual tone to his voice made it sound like he didn’t care one way or the other.
I forced myself to ask the question that was rolling around in my head. “What do you mean kink type play?”
I was pretty sure I knew the answer, but I wanted to make sure I was right before I agreed to anything. Daddy kissed my head again and settled back, sliding into his lecture mode. He’d done it for as long as I could remember and it was one of those things that made me realize how long I’d really known him.
“There are going to be countless different ways to explain this, but what I meant was, sometimes people use the Daddy and boy terms in more of a fun, sexual way and it’s not really focused on age play.” I knew we needed to talk about it, but I couldn’t help the way my face heated. I had to fight not to wiggle and hide against him.