Sawyer reaches over and grabs my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze, letting me know he’s with me. I take another shaking breath and continue, still not able to look up.
“By the time Evan was three months old, these tantrums were an everyday occurrence. Evan and I would end up locked in the nursery to hide from David and one of his drink induced rages. One night he finally was upset enough that he broke down the door and stormed in. I could smell the booze on him from across the room. I tucked Evan into his crib and turned to face him, keeping myself between David and the crib. I could take whatever he would throw at me, I had been for years at this point and had the scars to prove it, but I’d be damned if he would get to my son. He stood in the doorway and started screaming at me that I was turning his son against him, that I was the reason Evan cried every time he saw David. Naturally, in his mind, I was poisoning his son against him. I didn’t say anything. I had learned long ago that saying anything at all only made it worse, only made his fists land harder. When I stayed quiet, I saw something change behind his eyes. I knew he was going to hurt me, but for the first time I wondered if I would make it out of this one alive. I braced for it as he stumbled toward me, sending up a silent prayer to anything and everything that could be listening that I would last long enough for him to get bored and leave Evan alone. Let him do whatever he wanted to me, just as long as he didn’t hurt my baby,” I break into another shuddering sob.
Sawyer is squatting in front of me before I realize he’s moved. He reaches up and tags the back of my neck pulling me forward to look at him, forcing me to meet his gaze. “I got you Babydoll. You’re doing so well. So damn good Tessa. You’re almost done, you can do this. I’m right here with you, got it?” he gives me a firm look, waiting for me to respond. Not able to manage words still, I give him a weak nod. “You with me?” he asks, with a gentle squeeze of his hand.
“I’m with you,” I whisper, meeting his gaze and giving a steadier nod. Sawyer looks at me for a moment longer before giving me a kiss on the forehead and settling back in his chair, his hand still holding mine. I take another shuddering breath before squaring my shoulders and look up at King, meeting his firm, emotionless gaze with my own.
“David beat me that night, beat me within an inch of my life. I woke up on the floor of our bedroom, not sure how I had gotten there. Thankfully nothing was broken, but I was bruised and bloodied and my ribs killed. I knew, I just knew right then, that I had to go. I was hurt but not incapacitated. Evan was untouched, thank God, but I knew he wouldn’t be as lucky the next time, or the time after that. And there would be a next time; I was sure of that.
“I went back into our room and found David passed out on the bed, having drunk himself into a stupor. I grabbed anything and everything I could and shoved it all into my car. I took the money he had stashed in his office and everything that I thought could fetch any kind of price. I got Evan packed up in the car and we ran.
“I drove until I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer before I found an out of the way motel to crash at for a few days. I needed to lie low until the bruises went down. I couldn’t afford people asking questions or remembering me. I sold my car and the jewelry while I was there; Took the money and got the junker outside from a small dealer; they just so happened to misplace the paperwork for the sale for a slight premium. The salesman also got me in touch with a forger who was able to get new identities for Evan and myself. I was able to get all the documents we would need to get set up, whenever we finally settled down. Tessa and Evan Johnson. Tessa had been my grandmothers’ name, I adored her when I was growing up and it was the first name that came to mind when he asked. After about a week, I moved on and ended up in Denver. We were in Denver for about two and a half months, but I could never shake the feeling that I needed to look over my shoulder and never really felt safe. I worked at a small diner while we stayed at one of those long-term motels, you know the ones that rent by the week. Eventually, I just couldn’t stop feeling that paranoid tingle on the back of my neck.
“I packed us up and headed out again. I was headed toward the East Coast somewhere; I was thinking maybe Atlanta. Somewhere warm sounded nice, but my car broke down in Iowa. While I was waiting for my car to get fixed, I saw one of those racks with all the travel brochures and the one for Minnesota caught my eye. All the fall colors looked amazing. I flipped through it and saw a page on Duluth and something about it stuck out to me. It’s a big enough city to disappear in, but far enough out of the way most people don’t even know exactly where it is, let alone would go out of their way to come here.”
“And the rest is history. I came into town in that stupid snowstorm and didn’t want to try finding my way into Duluth proper with all those hills in the dark and snow, so I pulled off and ended up at Clay’s,” I close my eyes and let out a long sigh, sagging back in my chair, relieved it’s done. The story is out and in their hands now.
I hadn’t known how heavy my past had been weighing on me, but now that it’s out, I feel so much lighter. The weight has been lifted from my chest and I can take my first full breath in months, hell… in a year. I have never told anyone about what was going on with David, never seeing what good it would do. Honestly, I was afraid he would find out I had said something, and it would only get worse for me. Now that everything's out in the open, I can feel the sense of anticipation building; the sense that I’ll be able to move forward.
Chapter 20
Sawyer
Staring at Tessa as she finishes her story, I feel like all the air has been sucked from the room. Anyone could see that she had been through the shit and had her own secrets to keep, but I never could have imagined this story. I could never have thought she had been through so much and come to me looking so wonderful. She’s so perfectly imperfect, strong and vulnerable, I couldn’t find anyone better if I spent a thousand years searching. I need to make this right; I need to atone for my mistakes instead of running from them like last time. She has shown me the path, and I think I can walk it with her and her little man.
Enough of that, I need to get moving, I need to do something.
Turning to King I ask, “So. What do we know?” I don’t even bother letting him play dumb, knowing he had Tinker check up on her before Alice offered her a job, probably the full rubber glove before the house was offered. If there is one thing King is, it’s organized and thoughtful. Coupled with Tink’s ‘Network’ of bribes, blackmails, favors, and deep web knowledge, we can know quite a lot in a short period of time, but we need to know where to look first.
King crosses his arms and leans back in his chair, looking from me back to Tessa / Bethany. “Bethany, thank you for trusting us, I know that couldn’t have been easy to tell let alone relive.”
“Tessa. It’s Tessa now. I left Bethany behind that night and I want to leave her there.” Tessa says firmly, sitting straighter in her seat again.
King inclines his head toward her in respect, “Fair enough. Tessa then. To repay your trust, I want to be straightforward with you,” King says, clearly warming up for one of his ‘shut the fuck up and listen’ speeches. “As soon as Clay let me know there was a woman and child who clearly needed help, we went digging. I know, it’s not the most honest way to get to know someone,” he says with his hands in a placating gesture, “but I do everything I can to protect this Club and everyone attached to it. That means I do not like surprises or strangers, and you were both. You’ve filled in a lot of holes that aren’t in the paperwork, we should be able to get a little deeper on the details now.” Tink leans over and hands him some more papers that he’s been shuffling through during the conversation. “Looks like they knew enough to deal with our security measures in the house. We never received an alert that something was wrong, and that’s on us. I want you to know that we will make up for that oversight; we will get your boy back and we will deal with whoever deserves it. Do you think anyone, other than David, would want to take Evan?” he asks, ending his speech.