“But you made it.”
“I did. But what I remember most was how calm my aunt and Gwen were the whole time. No matter how many crazy noises I made when the contractions hit, they just kept chatting away like nothing unusual was going on at all. I guess they’d driven lots of pregnant mothers to the hospital.”
“Did the contractions hurt?”
“It was like a baby dinosaur chomping through my uterus.”
He laughed. “And?”
“We got to the hospital, and I was checked into a room on the maternity floor. The doctor came by, and both my aunt and Gwen stayed with me for the next six hours until I was finally dilated. Gwen had me concentrate on my breathing, my aunt brought me ice chips—all the usual things, I guess. Sometime around one a.m. or so, I was ready to deliver. The next thing I knew, nurses were getting things ready and the doctor came in. And three or four pushes later, it was over.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”
“You forgot the munching baby dinosaur. Every single contraction was agonizing.”
It had been, even if she could no longer remember the exact sensation. In the dim light, Mark seemed transfixed.
“And Gwen was right. It was a good thing you caught the afternoon ferry.”
“I’m pretty sure Gwen could have handled the birth, since there weren’t any complications. But I did feel better about being in a hospital instead of giving birth on my bed or whatever.”
He stared at the tree before coming back to her again. Sometimes, she thought, he seemed so familiar to her, it was scary.
“What happened after that?”
“Lots of commotion, of course. The doctor made sure I was okay, checked the afterbirth while the pediatrician examined the baby. Weight, Apgar, measurements, and immediately afterwards, the nurse whisked the baby to the nursery. And just like that, it was all suddenly behind me. Even now, it sometimes seems surreal, more like a dream than reality. But after the doctor and nurses cleared out, I grabbed Maggie-bear and started to cry and I couldn’t stop for a long time. I remember that my aunt was on one side of me and Gwen was on the other, both of them consoling me.”
“It had to have been very emotional.”
“It was,” she said. “But I’d known all along that it would be. And of course, by the time my tears stopped falling, it was the middle of the night. My aunt and Gwen had been up nearly twenty-four hours straight and I was even more tired than they were. We all eventually fell asleep. They’d brought in an extra chair for my aunt—Gwen used the other one—so I can’t speak to how much rest they actually got. But I was out like a light. I know the doctor came in sometime during the morning to make sure I was doing okay, but I barely remember that. I went right back to sleep and didn’t wake again until almost eleven. I remember thinking how strange it was to wake up in the hospital bed alone, because neither my aunt nor Gwen was there. I was starved, too, but my breakfast was still on the tray. I had to eat it cold, but I couldn’t have cared less.”
“Where were your aunt and Gwen?”
“In the cafeteria.” When he tilted his head slightly, Maggie changed the subject. “Is there still any eggnog in the back?”
“There is. Would you like me to get you a glass?”
“If you wouldn’t mind.”
Maggie watched as Mark rose from the table and headed toward the back. As he vanished from sight, she felt her mind drift back to the moment Aunt Linda had entered the room, the past becoming real again.
* * *
Carteret General Hospital, Morehead City
1996
Aunt Linda approached the bed before pulling up a chair. Reaching over, she brushed the hair from my eyes.
“How are you feeling? You slept a long time.”
“I think I needed it,” I said. “Did the doctor come in earlier?”
“He did,” she said. “He said you were doing very well. You should be out of the hospital tomorrow morning.”
“I have to stay another night?”
“They like to monitor you for at least twenty-four hours.”
The sunlight from the window behind her seemed to frame her in a golden halo.
“How’s the baby?”
“Perfect,” she said. “The staff is excellent and it was a quiet night. I think yours is the only one in the nursery right now.”
I absorbed what she’d said, imagining the scene, and the next words came automatically. “Do you think you could do something for me?”
“Of course.”
“Can you bring Maggie-bear to the nursery? And let the nurses know that I’d like the baby to have her? And maybe they could tell the parents, too?”
My aunt knew how much Maggie-bear meant to me. “Are you sure?”
“I think the baby needs her more than I do right now.”
My aunt offered a tender smile. “I think that’s a wonderful and generous gift.”
I handed her the teddy bear, watching as she cradled it before reaching for my hand. “Now that you’re awake, can we talk about the adoption?” When I nodded, she went on. “You know you’re going to have to formally give the baby up, which means paperwork, of course. I’ve reviewed it, so has Gwen, and as I mentioned to your parents, we’ve worked for years with the woman who set up the adoption. You can trust me that everything is in order, or if you wish, I could arrange for you to have an attorney.”
“I trust you,” I said. And I did. I think I trusted my aunt Linda more than anyone.
“The important thing you should know is that this is a closed adoption. You remember what that means, right?”
“That I don’t know who the parents are, right? And they won’t know me?”
“That’s correct. I want to make sure that’s still what you’d like to do.”
“It is,” I said. The thought of knowing anything would drive me crazy. “Are the new parents here yet?”
“I heard that they arrived this morning, so we’ll take care of the paperwork in a little bit. But there’s something else you should probably know.”
“What is it?”
She took a deep breath. “Your mom is here now, and she’s arranged for you to fly home tomorrow. The doctor wasn’t thrilled by that because of the possibility of blood clots, but your mom was fairly insistent about it.”
I blinked. “How did she get here so fast?”
“She found a flight yesterday right after I called. She actually arrived in New Bern late last night, before you delivered. She came by this morning to see you but you were still asleep. She hadn’t eaten, so Gwen and I took her to the cafeteria to get her something.”
Preoccupied with thoughts about my mom, I realized that I’d almost tuned out the other thing she’d told me. “Wait. Did you say I’m leaving tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
“You mean I’m not going back to Ocracoke?”
“I’m afraid not.”
“What about the rest of my things? And the picture Bryce gave me for Christmas?”
“I’ll ship everything to you. You don’t have to worry about that.”
But…
“What about Bryce? I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye. I didn’t say goodbye to his mom or his family, either.”