Callan’s jaw tightened as the pain of that grief threatened him. Fortunately, May returned with her tray carrying their coffees and a couple of plates bearing pastries, giving him a moment to collect himself.
“Wow,” he said as May put one of the pastries in front of Grizzly. “You’re right. That does look delicious. What is it?”
“A guava cream cheese danish,” May answered. “Reconsidering your order?”
“Actually, yeah.”
May set the second plate in front of him. “Grizzly thought you’d say that.”
Grizzly chuckled. “Never doubt how well I know you, Murph.”
“Just flag me down if you need anything else, fellas,” May said.
“Will do. Thanks,” Grizzly told her before she moved on to the new customers who had seated themselves at a nearby table.
Callan removed the top from his coffee cup to let some of the heat escape. He desperately needed a hit of caffeine.
“I don’t doubt how well you know me,” he said to his former coach as he picked up the danish. “That’s one of the reasons I wanted to meet with you.”
“I’m aware. And before you ask, yes, I connected with Marty.”
Callan had asked Grizzly to talk to The Siege’s head coach in hopes of getting the inside scoop on the team’s expectations, particularly regarding Callan’s performance in the upcoming season. The meeting in April had been more generic than helpful. Callan needed to know specifically how to improve in order to meet the team’s high standards.
“What did he have to say?” Callan asked.
“Nothing that should surprise you. They’re lookin’ for players who are fully committed to the team and their goals.”
Callan sipped his coffee and frowned. “I am committed to The Siege. I’m there for every game, every team meeting. I support my teammates on and off the ice. I donate to the team’s charities, probably more than any other player. How much more commitment do they want?”
Grizzly ran a hand over his bushy salt-n-pepper beard, sending flakes of pastry and frosting flying. “Look, Murph. You know I don’t bullshit people. I get what you’re sayin’, and you’re not wrong. Those are important qualities that I made sure I drilled into you when you were my player. If I’d ever learned you were doin’ less than that, I’d’ve kicked your ever-lovin’ ass.
“But there are different levels of commitment. You’ve always approached your NHL career like you approach women. You enjoy it well enough, but your heart isn’t fully committed to it.”
An image of Roxy flashed through Callan’s mind, prompting a deeper frown. This wasn’t the time or place to be digging into the mess he’d made there. He’d have plenty of time later to deal with that.
He wanted to object to Grizzly’s words on principle. But everything the other man said was one hundred percent true. So he sipped more of his coffee and remained silent.
Whatever Grizzly read on his face made him sigh and reach for his coffee. “It’s not all bad, kid. You’ve got a lot of strengths workin’ for you. You’re one of the best skaters in the league. You’re adaptable, shifting with the play when you need to. In fact, you excel at reading plays and bein’ aware of where the puck and net are at all times. And you’ve got solid puck control.”
“But…” Callan prompted when Grizzly paused.
“But you’re inconsistent,” Grizzly said. “You don’t show the level of drive and intensity that star players should.”
That was because Callan had never aimed to become a star. He’d just aimed to play well enough to keep his parents off his back.
Which was neither here nor there now.
Leaning forward in his chair, Grizzly started gesturing with his hands as he explained, “You battle with opposing wingers in the corners to get the puck when it suits you, not with the passion and assertiveness that marks a top performer. Since you were usually partnered with Virtanen last season, that wasn’t as much of an issue as it could’ve been. That’s likely what’s keepin’ you with the team right now.”
Right winger Mikael Virtanen was a classic Grinder. Callan supposed it was probably true that his partner’s aggressive playing style often covered for Callan’s shortfalls while they were on the ice.
“If you really want to improve, to become All Star-worthy,” Grizzly said, “you need to consistently lock down the left corner of the ice. Start showin’ more grit and commitment to your role.”
Callan pondered that as he finished his coffee. “All right. What will most show The Siege that I’m committed to the team?”
“You already know,” Grizzly said gruffly. “I taught you, didn’t I?”
Callan supposed he did know.
“All Stars are the first to arrive and the last to leave for practices and drills,” Grizzly used to say to him all the time. “They work on their conditioning and skills training every chance they get. They generate plays and know when to give the puck to their teammates to make the score. They’re leaders both on and off the ice. They eat, breathe, and sleep hockey.”
Which was why Callan hadn’t bothered trying, he silently acknowledged now. He’d never wanted hockey to take up so much of his life.
To be such a huge commitment.
And because he’d had that attitude, he hadn’t ever achieved what his grandfather thought he should. What G-Man had hoped to see when he’d still been alive.
“You brought me here ‘cause you wanted my advice,” Grizzly said. “So here you go. Get to work on your conditioning. Yeah, it’s still six weeks before training camp, but goin’ into it in top form will only help you. You need to get involved with the team more off the ice, too. You donate money, sure, and that’s great. But your team needs your time. They want you and your teammates out connectin’ with the people in the local community. They need this city’s support if the team is gonna succeed, and that starts and ends with the players.”
He could do that easily enough, Callan thought. “Okay. I’ll set up a time to talk to Vivian Price.”
“Good.” Grizzly tossed back the last of his coffee. “You should also make nice with Knox Donaghy.”
Callan’s lip instinctively curled.
“I know, kid. But he’s your coach now. He earned that job, asshole or no. Even if you don’t respect him, you at least need to act like you do. The other coaches and players will take notice if you don’t.”
Callan didn’t have to like it to know he was right. “Fine. I’ll work on it.”
Grizzly nodded. “And, Murph, this is probably gonna be the toughest one of all for you. You really need to lay off the ladies. The team needs your focus and energy on your game, not on findin’ and nailin’ your latest sexual conquest.”
Callan considered that last bit of advice once he and Grizzly wrapped up their conversation and headed to their cars. His reputation as a player with the ladies was well established around the league, something that hadn’t ever bothered him before. So what if he enjoyed dating and sleeping with a variety of women? Those women always enjoyed themselves. What was the big deal?