Her shoulders slumped. “I want to be happy about it. I should be happy, but all I can picture is how I won’t be pregnant to the Thinsley standards. Nothing I do is right. What if they treat my child the same way?”
“Edward wouldn’t let that happen.”
She shook with emotion. “You don’t know that.”
I don’t. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
She turned toward me and took one of my hands in hers. “You’re the first friend I’ve had who has been honest with me. Everyone else says what they think I want to hear. I need some of that honesty now. I’m thinking about leaving Edward.”
I let out an audible breath. “That’s a big decision.”
“I know. That’s why I need to know if you think it’s the right one.”
Me? I’d never even been engaged. My mother was proof that it was important to be careful when choosing a partner, but Edward wasn’t as bad as my father had been. People said marriage was work and was supposed to be forever. How soon should a person give up when one of them wasn’t holding up their end of the deal? They were having a baby. Surely that was a reason to fight even harder for it to work. “Have you considered marriage counseling?”
“Edward doesn’t believe in it. Thinsleys don’t admit to having weaknesses.”
“What does your father think?”
“I can’t talk to him about Edward. If he thought he wasn’t treating me right, he’d kill him. He’s too busy to come visit us, but he’d arrange his funeral.”
Yikes. “How pregnant are you?”
“Early enough that most would consider it too soon to share the news with anyone beyond my husband.”
I’d spent time with Edward. He wasn’t a bad guy and seemed to truly love Eugenia. This was all disappointing to hear. “What if you had this conversation with Edward instead of me? He loves you. He deserves a chance to make things right.”
She wrung her hands together. “I don’t want him to be better to me only because I’m pregnant. I want him to want to protect me.”
As someone who was currently lying to her mother because she didn’t want to hurt her, I had a certain amount of sympathy for Edward. But I understood Eugenia’s point as well. “I can’t tell you what you should do. Only you know that.”
Eugenia was quiet for a moment, then said, “Edward says people don’t respect people who don’t demand to be respected. He thinks how people treat me is my fault.”
Edward needs to shut his ignorant mouth. “I don’t know what you’re looking for me to say, Eugenia.”
“Tell me—is it me?” she asked in a broken voice. “If it is, then I shouldn’t leave him. I’d be breaking up our family, only to repeat this cycle with someone else I can’t figure out how to get to treat me better. I have this fantasy in my head where everyone is happy and getting along. How do I get to that place? I’ve spent my life trying to make everyone else happy, but I can’t live like that anymore. I just don’t know how to live any other way.”
Her words ricocheted through me. I’d always believed that very little in life happened by chance. People came into each other’s lives for a reason. Eugenia and I were in very different places but asking ourselves the same kinds of questions. “I don’t, either, but I’m here for you if you need me.”
Tears filled her eyes again. “I don’t understand why you took the job as my bridesmaid when you clearly don’t need the money, but I’m so grateful you did. When I was little, we moved around a lot. I had tutors and nannies, but no real friends. You’re the first person I’ve felt I could be myself with without worrying that you’d judge me.”
“You never feel that way with Edward?”
She shrugged. “He doesn’t want the real me.”
“Then he’s a fool. We all doubt ourselves, Eugenia. We all make mistakes, get our feelings hurt by what people say, and hide what we don’t want to talk about. Nothing you’re saying is crazy—it’s just all a symptom of something called being human.”
“I wish I were more like you. I heard the way you spoke to my mother-in-law. You’re fearless.”
I sighed. “It’s easy to be that way when it doesn’t matter. My mother doesn’t know about this apartment or half of what I’ve been up to lately. I’ve lied to practically everyone I know because I don’t want to upset anyone, but I’m exactly where you are. I don’t want to live like that anymore.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I considered whether laying my problems out for her would help or confuse her more, and decided the only kind of friendship worth having was a real one. “I do. Let’s eat, and let me tell you one crazy tale that will have you feeling better about your situation.”
She left smiling after our lunch together, but I wished I’d had better answers to her questions—as well as my own.
CHAPTER FOUR
GAVIN
Seated at the bar on the first floor of the Terraanum, I sipped a whiskey I hadn’t bothered to ask the name of. Normally it mattered, but my thoughts that evening were far from the drink in my hand.
The ease with which Riley had dismissed my invitation to dinner still irked me. I wasn’t under the misconception that every woman on the planet found me attractive, but I hadn’t imagined the sexual tension between us. She was interested, so what was holding her back?
Loyalty to the man she supposedly loved? I highly doubted that, or that love had anything to do with their arrangement. I downed more of the whiskey than I meant to and coughed as it burned its way down my throat. “What is this shit?” I asked the bartender.
He looked behind him for the bottle, and I realized he was new. “Braig Club. It’s what we serve when someone doesn’t specify a brand.”
“It’s disgusting. Never serve it again.”
“Okay, sir.” His tone was polite, but I could see he had no idea who I was.
“What’s your name?”
His eyes rounded. “Kenyon Sanders.”
“Kenyon, I’m sure you’re only doing what you were trained to do, and that’s the shame of it. For clarification, though, there shouldn’t be a top-shelf distinction at this bar. Every liquor back there should be quality. Every drink should remind the customer why they chose to live here. If it doesn’t, someone isn’t doing their job right, and I’m not happy.”
Kenyon visibly swallowed. “Yes, sir.”
I wasn’t upset with him, just with myself for looking away from the Terraanum long enough for issues in quality to appear. My father made it his business to know the people who worked for him. I’d done the same when I opened the apartment building, but I’d dropped the ball as things at my family’s company got busier.
I held out my hand for him to shake. “Gavin Wenham.” The kid had a strong handshake I approved of. He was also smart enough to already be pouring me a better drink. “Have you been bartending long?”
“A few months.”
“Are you a student?”
He nodded while wiping down the bar with a cloth. “I’m studying dental medicine at Tufts.”