“Oh, are you one of those that doesn’t like the thought of natural bodily functions, let alone speaking of them? I mean, it’s okay, lots of males don’t. Ps. If you have to tooterbug, which is a better word for F A R T, then by all means go right ahead and do it, just excuse yourself afterward. I’ve been working on all the males I meet, trying to teach them manners such as this.” Harlow had moved to where she now stood next to Liv.
“Alright, I give. What is number three?” asked the female.
Harlow clapped like the female did something amazing. Xian would’ve pinched the bridge of his nose, but that slight move could alert the demon of his presence. Instead he kept his beast in check by counting the heartbeats of each of the demons. Although he only saw the two standing, not including the Shadow Demons that Liv had taken out with her scream, there were four other beings hidden within the darkness. Sneaky fuckers. He sent a clicking sound through their link as Harlow spoke, being careful to space them during her crazy spiel.
“Well obviously a number one is pee, and number two is poop, but when the poopoo is runny, it’s referred to as a number three. Trust me, don’t eat any of the yummy looking red fruit on the other side of the realm. It might look tasty, but it will have you digging holes for days and your bootyhole burning like nobody’s busines. Okay, now I’ve given you some amazing tips and such, it’s your turn. Yes?” Harlow did a little shuffle on the ground like an excited puppy would do, bumping into Liv. “Oh, my apologies, Ma’am. I’m Harpido. What’s your name?”
“Um, Harpido?”
“So cool. Your name is the same as mine. What’s the chances of that?” Harlow clapped excitedly.
“No, my name is not Harpido. I was questioning if that was your name.” Liv shook her head, then looked up at the sky like she was searching for divine intervention.
Harlow nodded, moving so she was slightly behind Liv. “Oh, well, I’m sure your name is equally cool. Harpido is my superheroine name. What’s yours?”
At that, the male appeared to grow tired of waiting. His low growl followed by a series of clicks and pops heralded his last nerve severing. Xian gave the male points for lasting as long as he had, since most didn’t make it past the number three explanation. Bless their hearts.
The other heartbeats he’d counted stepped forward; their sizes dwarfed by the other male’s large form.
“Seize both females and silence the small one. I don’t want to hear another word out of her, even if you have to remove her tongue. As a matter of fact, take her tongue and feed it to the animals.”
Murmurs of agreement and grunts of approval came out simultaneously. Xian waited, wondering what Liv and Harlow planned.
“Um, excuse me, but that’s very very uncool. I was being nice and sharing proper shitting etiquette with you and your—minions, and you ordered them to do bad things to me and my friend. Ps. We’re friends now, so go with it. Well, I have news for you, jerk off. I hope you shit yourself and piss all over your own leg and your whatever they are.” Harlow waved her hands all around as she spoke, her voice getting louder with each word she spoke.
A second later, two more sets of heartbeats that didn’t belong to his crew began echoing in his mind. He eased the knowledge through their link, making the total of eight they would need to eliminate. Not bad odds. They’d faced worse.
“You know, if you and your band of idiots would just turn around and walk or float or however it is you get from place to place and leave us be, you’ll continue to exist,” Liv said.
The male Xian presumed to be the leader tossed his head back, a dark chuckle rumbling out of him. “Ah, and here I thought she was the stupid one. You see, we’re hungry, and your souls will fill us for a very long time. Come to me, female.” He held his right arm out, fingers beckoning Liv forward.
Liv tipped her head to the side. “I’ve heard males say come for me female, but this come to me is new. I’m gonna have to decline your invitation on account I fear you have nefarious intentions.”
Now the entire group of beings moved closer together, then fanned out like they’d done the maneuver before. Silly beings. Saliva dripped from their...fangs. Holy shit. Vamps. They were freaking vampires like the ones that had somehow placed a spell on their homes all those years ago. Before the memory could suck Xian back down, he leapt forward, his beast ripping the head off of a male before he’d taken a step away from the male in charge. With Jagger and Jaxon at his back, he made his way to the leader. Staying in his half-shift, he tossed the next male over his shoulder, grinning at the grunt of pain the male expelled.
“Ah, so you were watching in the corner thinking you can take me, a master older than time, wolf boy?”
Xian lifted one shoulder. “I wasn’t in a corner, fang boy. You like to talk or what? I’ll warn you, though. Talking isn’t my strong point. However, my friend Harlow is awesome at chatting people up. I think she has a lot of ideas about”—he leaned forward, holding his hand up to his mouth like he was going to tell him a secret— “feminine issues. I truly think she wants to find a way to make us males have monthly Auntie Flo visits.”
“For fuckssake, shut up. All of you are crazy.” The vampire lunged toward Xian’s neck, his lips pulled back from his teeth, showing incisors that were yellow and pointy.
Xian shoved his open palm up, hitting the vamp under the chin and sending him reeling several feet in the air. He was on him before the bastard could collect himself, punching him in fast succession with both fists. The sound of bones shattering and blood flying around him as he decimated the being below him filled the air until there was nothing left of his face to pummel.
“Okay, time to stop playing punchy the vampy, Xi.” Liv tugged on his arm.
He took a deep breath, getting to his feet. He counted heartbeats, only his crew and him echoed in his head, and then there was another, slithering toward them almost soundlessly. Xian grinned, clapping his hands together while his crew looked at the dead beings lying in a heap.
The glint of dark, malevolent eyes appeared first. Xian felt the power radiating from the animal trying to sneak up on him and his crew. The intentions of the entity pounded through his skull as if it were speaking directly to Xian. It had a need to kill, to destroy any and all happiness of others, and it’s first line of attack was to malign or influence its prey. Xian would’ve laughed had he not been focused on locating the demon’s weakness. The opposite of malevolent was to wish good for others and finding satisfaction in others happiness. Xian was never happier than when his crew was safe and happy. That was his weapon to defeat the ill-disposed, spiteful demon. Oh, he wasn’t fooling himself or anyone else that he was a benevolent male, but he would always protect his family.
He shifted to his full beast, the one that was nearly unstoppable, a true bad wolf that had no off button, save for his crews safety. Xian sprung off his back legs, landing a hundred feet away from the others, his teeth biting down on the exposed back of the demon. He locked his jaws around the back of its neck, ignoring the way the being struggled beneath him. He blocked out the searing pain of its acid like blood trying to worm its way into his body. Xian kept his jaws locked and his tongue forced to the top of mouth, blocking the acidic blood from going down the back of his throat. The poisonous fluid burned his eyes, searing every part of him that it touched. Sharp talons raked at his sides while the huge male bucked and fought to free himself from Xian. If Xian wasn’t determined to make the kill quick, he’d have released the bastard, so they could’ve fought face to face, or snout to whatever the bastard sported.