She reaches across the table. “Oh, come on. I think I deserve to know what you look like if I want to give you a chance.”
I watch as her hand makes its way to my face to pull down my patch and I grip her hand, gently, but firm enough to let her know not to fucking touch me. “Listen, lady. I don’t know who the hell you think you are. If you expect me to respect your boundaries, you better start respecting mine too. This is a hard boundary for me. Don’t touch me. Only one person in my life gets to see me without this and it sure as hell isn’t you.” I place her hand down on the table and she scoffs just as the time goes off for us to switch tables.
“Well, maybe you should just be with that person then. Unless she’s so turned off by your eye that she can’t even stomach it.”
The putrid remark almost pauses me mid−step. “I have a better chance at someone loving me than a bitch like you.” I tug on my blazer and continue walking, then when I see the table I’m coming to next, I do freeze.
Alicia.
And she looks… so fucking beautiful.
She never fails to take my breath away.
I pull out the chair, never taking my gaze away from her, so she can see how much I desire her. I sit down, dragging my fingers across the cloth of the table like I would her body. I hear her breath hitch and the flame of the candle flickers when she releases it.
“You seemed awfully cozy with your… friend.” I try not to sound bitter, but the jealousy is too strong, and honestly, I’m still pissed off from the last table.
“Yeah, well, you didn’t seem to be wasting any more time either.” She takes a large sip of her drink, her eyes glued to the breadsticks.
“Well, you went out on a date. I figured, what the hell, right?” I fall silent when the waiter brings me a fresh beer. I chug half of it down and slam the bottle on the table harder than necessary. “Since you’re so keen on not being with me.”
“Keen? Keen?” She scoffs and shakes her head, agitated. “You are unbelievable.” Alicia slaps the table with her palms, and I grin at the table next to us in a way to let them know everything is fine. “Not being with you? Are you fucking hard of hearing? All I have asked from you is for you to be honest with me about who you are. I’ve asked to get to know you, for you to be open with me. I want to be with you, but you’re the one who doesn’t want the same. You obviously don’t want us enough. If so, you would just tell me about yourself instead of keeping me at arm’s length.”
“Keeping you at arm’s length? Do you hear yourself? All I do is love you. All I do is need you and want you.” I pinch my brows together, lost in thought. How the hell she can think I don’t want her? “What else do I need to do? I would literally burn the world for you.”
“I don’t want you to burn the world, Quin. I want you to burn yourself. I want you to feel on fire with the truth eating you alive. I want your secrets. The ones you can’t tell me. I want the good and the bad. I want to know you. I want your fire, Quin. And then I want to help put it out.”
“Next!”
I’m really hating that word. I grind my teeth when I see a man standing next to the table trying to take my spot. “Keep fucking moving,” I force out.
“Hey man, every two minutes we are supposed to m—”
I look up at him and give him a look that can kill. “I said to keep moving.”
He lifts his arms in surrender and moves around the table. “Ma’am, are you safe? Do you feel like you’re in danger?”
“The safest place she can be right now is with me.”
“I’m fine, thanks for asking.” Alicia gives a kind smile, but mean mugs me as she rips off a chunk of a breadstick.
I bet she wishes it was my head.
The other guy moves to the next table, and I take a swig of my beer. “I see you’re eating breadsticks.”
“They’re better than flowers,” she replies, using the same words she said when I brought food to her on our first date.
We fall into an awkward silence and people begin to get up and move to the next table again. I think about the risks I’m about to take and roll them around in my head. I’ve been so afraid of telling her the truth because I think I’ll lose her.
But I’m already losing her.
If I don’t let her get to know me, I’ll lose her anyway.
My fear is getting into my own way.
I put down my beer and stand.
“You’re going? You’re just going… to leave? Unbelievable.” She crosses her arms and whips her hair over her shoulder with a quick flick. “Figures you’d run. Again. You walk out that door Quin, I’m done. I can’t keep doing this.” She blinks quickly, the whites of her eyes shining against the candlelight as she fights the tears. “I can’t keep asking for parts of you when you have all of me. I just can’t—”
“Shut up,” I grumble before jerking her to her feet and crashing our lips together, the world finally righting itself on its axis.
She exhales slightly as she leans away, her eyes closed, and I notice the light coating of mascara on her light auburn lashes. I love when she dresses up, but her natural lash color makes her green eyes pop. I’m addicted to her eyes. They’re the color of four-leaf clovers. It’s like looking into luck itself.
“You can’t keep kissing me,” she slurs in a lust-filled whisper.
“Why not?” I cup her face, loving how her skin feels under my calloused hands. I’ve missed this, touching her so innocently.
“Because kissing you will only lead to me wanting answers. Answers you can’t give.”
I slip her hand into mine and walk to the exit, tugging her along with me.
“What… what are you doing? We can’t just leave, my friend—”
I growl when I hear her speak about another man. “Your friend will be fine. You belong with me, not him.”
She yanks her hand from my hand when we walk out into the gorgeous Atlantic City night. The stars twinkle above us, and I almost have a moment to appreciate their beauty but Alicia shoves me from behind.
I barely move.
“You think you have some hold on me?”
I wrap my arm around her waist and yank her to me, gripping the back of her neck with the other, a deep snarl building in my chest. “Make no mistake, Alicia, the hold I have on you is the same as the one you have on me. It’s impossible to let go of no matter how hard you try. I will never let you go. I won’t allow you to. And you friend?” The distaste is clear as I say it. “Your friend will never have a hold on you like I do.”
She fights me, trying to get out of my grip, but I constrict my hand around her neck, and she gasps for air, her pupils dilating with desire.
Yeah, I know what Mama likes. She fucking loves being manhandled.
“My friend is gay. He is in the room where the men are. You… fucking caveman.”
The laugh that escapes me is dark, tinged with a hint of delight. It might disturb someone else, but not Alicia. No, she loves it.
I move my hand from around her neck to her throat, my thumb tilting her chin up. I can see the defiance, the will to fight me every step of the way. I tilt my head to the side, and I brush my mouth over hers, not quite kissing her. “You better believe that when it comes to you, I’m a caveman. I’m one possessive, obsessive asshole, and if you want to know about me, I want you to know that if you try to run from me after I tell you the truth, I won’t let you.”