“I know.”
“If the media gets ahold of this, I can’t even imagine what the headlines will be.” I shake my head and laugh.
“I don’t care.”
“It could ruin your career.”
“My career happened by accident. I never even wanted to be an actor, I wanted to be a musician, like an American Ed Sheeran. Write songs and play guitar. So, if my acting career is ruined because of this, then so be it. I know it’s right. And plus, to be perfectly honest, I could live the rest of my life comfortably on what I’ve already earned and have saved and invested. So…let it be ruined. I don’t need to act. I enjoy it, and I would love to keep making movies. But I could happily go back to making YouTube videos of cover songs. And with the following I have, I’d probably be able to make a go of music on my own. So I’m not worried. That’s the real, honest answer. I’m not worried about my career.”
I search his face. “You can’t be serious about this.”
“I am.”
“I don’t know what to do. It was…not a joke—but I just…I never expected you to actually respond, much less…this. I’m not prepared for this.”
I see no duplicity in him. Again, he’s an actor, so he could be duping me and I wouldn’t know it. But…it doesn’t feel that way. I want desperately to believe he means this. It’s just too good to be true and my heart wants it so bad and my mind is blaring a klaxon that something which sounds too good to be true usually is.
“I just don’t know how this can be real.”
“Say my name.”
“Westley Britton.”
He shakes his head. “That’s my Westley Britton to your Jolene Park. My name. I’m not Westley Britton to you anymore. Or, I don’t want to be. I want to be Wes to your Jo.”
My eyes burn. He really means what he’s saying. “You don’t know me. I don’t know you.”
“That is easily remedied by spending time together.”
“You must be busy.”
“Schedules can be rearranged. You would become my new priority.”
“I want to believe you,” I whisper. “But fairy tales like this just don’t come true.”
“Why not?”
“When I found out I was terminal, I showed my parents my bucket list. And they’ve…” I choke up, try to swallow around the hot lump in my throat. “They’ve gone nearly bankrupt making all that come true. Their savings are gone. They remortgaged the house and took out a loan. They liquidated everything they could. I don’t know how they’re going to make it once I’m gone.”
“Jo—”
“Don’t tell me not to talk like that, okay? That’s reality. I have to face it. I have, and I am. My point is that those trips they took me on were my fairy tale. I saw Paris and Rome and London and the Caribbean and I swam in the Aegean. I wanted to see the world before I died, and I have. To get all that, at the expense of my parents’ financial solvency…it’s bittersweet. They wouldn’t hear of not doing it, they just told me it was their worry, not mine. But I do worry.” I struggle to breathe, and turn away, swallow and gulp oxygen. “And now you show up and threaten to…what? Whisk me away from my provincial little life in Illinois for the past few days of my life? Make the remainder of my life a fairy tale come true? What about them? I can’t leave them.”
I turn back to Westley. Take his hands, shake my head. “There are real, practical considerations, Wes. I’m going to get sicker. It won’t be romantic. It’ll be gross and messy and undignified. I can’t leave because I could never expect you to take care of me like that. We literally just met. And I can’t leave my parents and just go zip off on one last wild adventure with my surprise celebrity husband.” I giggle at the very turn of phrase. “It’s sweet of you to humor me like this, Wes. And it means more than I could ever express. But I just…can’t.”
He nods, gaze serious, thoughtful. He paces away from me, into my yard, out from under the shade of the oak tree’s canopy. His broad shoulders rise and fall slowly. I look at the house, and see Mom and Dad blatantly watching us; they saw us kiss. I wonder what they’re thinking.
He turns back to me. “Of course you can’t leave your parents.” He drills a hard, hot stare into me. “So you’re saying you didn’t really mean it? Asking me to marry you, I mean. It was just a joke.”
I want to let out a harsh exhale, or drag in a shaky breath, but my lungs are frozen. “I…” I close my eyes. “No. It wasn’t a joke.”
“So you meant it.”
“I guess so.”
“Regardless of what you meant, I’m here.” He’s open, his eyes deep and expressive. “Whether you expected anything or not, I’m here. And I’m saying I want to marry you. It’s crazy. It’s utter lunacy. It makes no sense. But I’m serious. I mean it.” He takes my hands. “I don’t have a ring, and I don’t have it all figured out. But my heart is telling me this is what I want to do. And I hear what you’re saying about the reality of what’s coming, but…I’m not scared. I’ll handle whatever comes as best I can. I’m taking this on voluntarily. We’ll keep it to ourselves. Not a secret because I’m, like, ashamed, or embarrassed, but so you know I’m not milking this for publicity. And if you want to go public, we can do that too. I don’t care. I can’t explain why I feel the way I do, but from the moment I watched that TikTok, I just…I knew I had to see you. And once I saw you, I…I dunno. I’m not letting go. I’m not walking away. I don’t know what this is, Jo, but it’s real and I mean it.”
“Wes…”
He glances down at the grass underfoot. Bends, plucks a dandelion. Ties the stem around my ring finger. “Marry me, Jo. Whatever time we have together—be it a week, a month, a year, or a lifetime. I’m saying yes. Will you?”
I sniffle a laugh. “Are you serious?”
“Absolutely.”
I make a face that’s a cross between a frown and a smirk. “I’m a fan of morbid humor, because it helps me process things. And I feel like you missed a good opportunity, there. You should have said you were dead serious.”
He closes his eyes and huffs a laugh. “I think you’re allowed to make morbid jokes. But I’m not sure I’m there.” He opens his eyes, holds my hand and holds my gaze. “Say yes, Jo, and I’ll take care of everything. You, your parents, everything. I can, I want to, and if you’ll let me, I will. Say yes.”
I put my hands over my mouth. “This is crazy.”
“Yeah. So?” He grins. “What do you have to lose?”
“Getting my heart broken right before I die of cancer?”
“Not gonna happen. I will not break your heart. Will not.” He smiles. “In fact, I’ll do everything in my power to do the opposite. To heal your heart, even if I can’t heal your body.”
“Yes.” I laugh, breathless with wonder. “Yes.”
Taking Risks