“Nine—”
“I just want to enjoy today. This.”
Alright.
I get that. So I stop pushing.
He finishes with my life vest.
“You try to mess with my balance, you’re going in the water,” I warn him. “I have a longer wingspan, and I’ll tank your ass in seconds.”
“I won’t mess with you.” He’s smiling. “You next.”
Me next?
I check the unsteady river, then the solid ground. Then look to Akara. “You scared I’ll stay on the shore?” I’m thinking about it.
“No.” He holds my gaze. “I just don’t want to leave you behind.”
That gets to me for a solid second, and I take my emotions with me to the board. Ankle deep in the cool water, I hoist myself onto my knees, grab an oar, and paddle into the river. Alright, Banks Roscoe Moretti, stand your tall ass up.
I pretend like I’m on solid land, and I climb to my feet.
Oh shit.
Unstable. Rocking.
I careen over, face first into the water. Not cold, but not too warm. When I hike myself back on the board, Ryke uses his oar to steady the board for me. “Try again,” he coaches. “Crouch lower. Hold a squat if you can, and then when you feel steady, you can stand up fully.”
Water dripping off my temples, I try to stand up again. Doing as instructed. This time, it’s easier. My feet wobble like I’m on a teeter-totter, but I don’t fall into the river.
“Good job,” Ryke says. “It’s going to be harder for you, since you’re so fucking tall. Lower center of gravity helps with balance.”
I nod stiffly, trying to focus on my balance but my mind travels someplace else. Ryke coaching me like I’m his kid. I imagine it’s in his nature. He’d do it for just about anyone that needed help—even his brother—but it feels different today.
Maybe because he knows I’m going to be a dad to his grandkid.
Maybe because he’s a better father figure to look up to than my old man.
I hold that thought as he plunges his oar in the water. “Just keep doing that and you won’t fall in,” he tells me. “But it doesn’t really fucking matter if you do. Dais and Nona try to fall off—”
A splash catches both of our attention. Sure enough, his youngest daughter is in the river, while Daisy attempts a handstand on the board. Seconds later, she tumbles into the water.
Ryke smiles as he paddles over to his wife and daughter.
Akara and Sulli paddle next to me, on either side. Wedging me in the middle. I do my best to stay upright. “I didn’t order a sandwich.”
Sulli grins. “But you’re the peanut butter to our bread.”
“We’d be bland without you,” Akara jokes.
I crack a smile. “You’re full of shit.”
He laughs, then asks Sulli, “Is Banks crunchy or creamy?”
“Crunchy,” Sulli says like it’s not even a contest.
He nods to me. “She wants your nuts.”
“Kits!” Sulli splashes him with her paddle.
He splashes back. As the middle of their sandwich, I’m being doused with the most water. It’s amusing, but not as amusing as me leaning over and pushing Akara in the water.
He goes down with a louder splash.
Sulli gasps with a smile. “You didn’t.”
“I warned him.”
I also see Kitsuwon swimming near our girlfriend. She doesn’t notice. Not until he catches her ankle and yanks her in the river. Waves buck my paddleboard, and I slip off in seconds.
Daisy, Winona, Ryke, and Price drift further away where the river bends, and they disappear out of sight. For a moment, it’s just the three of us wading in deep water. Laughing. Splashing.
Sun glistening on the water, sparkling against her eyes and his eyes. Red rocks jutting up to the bright blue sky around us—and for as open and wide as the world is, for as endless as the Colorado River flows, this place feels like ours. Secluded in nature and time, and I could spend eternity here with them.
We hang onto the paddleboards like floats. Letting the current carry us downstream as we face one another. Her legs brush up against my legs. His arm skims my arm, and I wipe water out of my eyes as the sun shines brighter.
In the calmness of this moment together, Sulli asks, “You ever think about marriage, Kits?”
He skims her, then me, “Why aren’t you asking Banks this too?”
She winces. “Fuck, I kind of mentioned it to him. But he said we should wait to talk.”
Realization washes over Akara.
She adds fast, “It wasn’t a long conversation. I don’t even really know how Banks feels.”
“That’s true,” I tell him.
“Hey, it’s okay. You guys can talk about stuff without me. But I appreciate being included in this one.” Now’s a good time to bring up his insecurities, but maybe he’d rather do it alone. Without me here as a crutch. “What about marriage?”
“Did you guys ever see yourselves getting married? Before me? Before our triad?”
“I mean,” Akara starts with a sigh, his wet hair pushed out of his face. “I’d be lying if I said no.” He looks more intensely on Sulli. “If things were different, we’d be married by now.”
Her eyes grow. “Really? Already?” She looks infatuated with him.
“Yeah. I would’ve pulled a move when it felt right, and you’d be shocked and maybe you’d say yes—I’d hope you’d say yes, or you’d freak out and say, it’s too soon, Kits. And I’d be like, I’ll save this for later then, Sul. Don’t forget about me.” He nods a few times, imagining that lost possibility.
My brows knot, hating that I’m the one who screwed this picture. “You two can still have that,” I say, willing to give them that. ‘Cause I love them, but damn me to hell if I can’t have a romantic commitment too.
“Not without you,” Akara says to me. “It doesn’t work without you, Banks.”
“But legally you two could—”
“Fuck legally,” Sulli interjects. “What does it matter? It’s a piece of paper. It’s nothing. And it’ll always leave someone out and we’re not doing it by the books.”
Water rushes around us. Pushing our boards and us closer. Our feet knock. Legs intertwine. A bird soars low over the horizon, and everything about this moment and her passion and our triad and our love makes me appreciate life. That I’m still living and breathing and able to experience more with the people I love the most in this godforsaken world.
I nod, “I can get behind that, mermaid.”
Akara is smiling. “Have you ever thought about marriage, Banks?”
“Not really. Before you two, I figured I’d be a good uncle. Maybe a bachelor for life.”
“And now?” Sulli asks.
“Now a future is all I’m thinking about. And like Akara here, I’d pull the move when it feels right.” I lift a shoulder. “Come what may.”
Sulli tries to restrain an overcome smile. “Spiritually, we can do the whole marriage thing? It’s not out of the question for us?”
“Is that something you’d want?” I ask her now.