I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m glad you told me.”
The clock on the bookcase said that it was nearly one in the morning. “Do you care if they know I’m here?”
“They know.”
I stood taller. “They do?”
“Not who you are but that I have a houseguest.”
“You’ll be gone?” I contemplated meeting these people without Van present. If I were to stay for a while, Fridays would come and go. Tomorrow, or today, was as good of a time as any. “I’ll be fully dressed before leaving the suite.”
Van’s devilish grin returned. “As your employer, I am considering a dress code, a uniform.”
Heat returned to my tired body. “We can discuss that and the invisible line tomorrow.”
Van took a step closer, crossing the threshold and reaching for my face. “I have meetings tomorrow and am overbooked because of meetings I canceled for today.” He kissed my lips. “Never have I wanted to play hooky this badly.”
I reached for his hand. “Did you turn off all the lights?”
“The house is secure, if that’s what you’re asking.”
My focus went to where our hands were connected. “Mr. Sherman, do you cuddle?”
His eyes opened wide at my question. “Do I cuddle?”
The answer seemed obvious in his surprised expression and the emphasis he’d placed on the word, yet I pushed. “Yes, do you cuddle or are you a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am type of man?”
“Of late, I’m mostly neither. Historically, I would say wham-bam.”
I tugged his hand toward the bedroom. “Tonight, you’ll cuddle.”
“Remember my rule.”
“I do. When it comes to sex, you lead the way. Tonight, you led the way many times. Now this isn’t sex. It isn’t even an invitation for more.” We were in the bedroom. “This is sleeping and cuddling.”
His skeptical expression morphed. “I’m not declining your invitation. However, if I wake and your sexy body is there, I can’t promise cuddling won’t become sex.”
I pulled back the covers on the far side of the bed and walked around to the nearer side and did the same. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I assessed the man staring at me. “Maybe instead of never enough, your memoir should be about your inability to respect boundaries.”
“I respect them, Julia. I see them as challenges.”
“Challenges you must overcome.”
“Every challenge must be overcome.”
“Turn off the light, Van. I want to go to sleep and since our employer-employee line has been obliterated, I want to cuddle. Come cuddle.”
He didn’t argue as he turned off the light and climbed into the big bed beside me. The king-size bed was larger than the one in the cabin. We both moved toward the middle. “Thank you,” I said as I settled next to him. With my leg near his, I knew he’d taken off the blue jeans and was back to his boxer briefs.
“Good night, Julia.”
“Good night.” I fell asleep tucked in the fold of his strong arm, with my head on his chest as his heart thumped a lullaby.
I woke to an empty bed and soreness in muscles that until recently I hadn’t known existed. Stretching on the soft sheets, I rolled to where Van had slept. With my head on his pillow, I inhaled, smelling his cologne. Beyond the windows, the sun shone, reflecting off the snow. Closing my eyes, I recalled last night.
The dining room table had been an incredible experience. With me perched on the edge, my knees bent, and my feet on the table at my sides, I had a ringside view of our bodies coming together.
I’d gone from never having sex to being fascinated by the sight of Van’s large cock moving in and out of me. He was both thick and long, thicker than Skylar. I wasn’t completely inexperienced; I’d seen an erect penis before. While Skylar and I never had intercourse, we’d done petting and oral.
This was different. Seeing the stretched skin and veins all covered in our come and glistening under the dining room chandelier as Van moved in and out of me was satisfying and unbelievable at the same time. It would seem that the physics of what was happening was impossible; he was too big or I was too small, and yet we fit perfectly.
Maybe the visual was why some people liked porn. It was one of the many things I’d never done—watched porn. But in my mind, what we’d done was different. I hadn’t watched two strangers or two actors. I was there, seeing our connection, hearing the noises we made, feeling his girth as he filled me, smelling his skin against mine, and tasting his kisses.
I couldn’t have prized myself away.
Even remembering the scene had my tired muscles clenching at nothing.
The clock on the bedside said it was after nine. That meant that Van was at his office and there could be two women I didn’t know downstairs. If they knew I was here, they probably thought I was hiding.
The truth was that I had slept a blissful sleep in Van’s arms.
Unlike in the cabin, this time the air beyond the bed wasn’t frigid.
In the bathroom, I unbuttoned his shirt. As I did, standing before the large mirror over the vanity, I saw red and pink splotches were visible on my neck and breasts. While I’d felt the coarseness of Van’s whiskers and enjoyed how they teased my sensitive skin, I hadn’t realized that they’d left their marks. I looked closer. My eyes opened wide, followed by my gaping mouth.
I had a hickey.
Oh my God, I hadn’t had a hickey since...I couldn’t remember.
Has Skylar ever given me a hickey?
I couldn’t recall. Gently, I palpated the skin as my smile bloomed. Being that the small bruise was on my breast, it would be easy to hide.
Am I crazy that I’m not angry that Van has left behind a mark?
Should I be upset?
I wasn’t at all.
Yes, our line had been blurred to the point of obliteration. And yet, as I stepped under the warm water within the glass shower, I had no regrets.
I was an adult woman who made a choice on her own, based on her own desires. Regret was the farthest thought from my mind as I washed my hair and gently washed my body. Being here, just outside Ashland, in Van’s large house was where I wanted to be.
Today was Friday.
I’d walked out on my forever a week ago. Last Friday night was when I’d left my engagement ring on the counter. It was the last time I’d spoken to my best friend. I contemplated the timeline, following the white ribbon and spending time in Ashland before the interview.
The days blurred, just like Van’s and my line.
Thoughts of the canceled wedding came like lead weights pulling me down into the depths of the Great Lake. I imagined the wedding dress my mother and I had selected—another weight. The large venue, flowers, and decorations—more weights. The guest list—hundreds more. My forced smile as I took my vows—the anchor was large enough to keep an ocean liner from moving.
I hadn’t even realized how close I’d been to drowning.
Now, instead of sinking, for the first time, I spread my wings and flew, soaring through the cobalt blue sky. Possibilities I never imagined were before me. Feelings I never realized I was missing were coursing through me.
Van’s and my attraction was new and exciting.
Surely with time it would fade.