She looks just like Delaney. Monstrously beautiful.
“Mom.” I lurched at the sound of Delaney whisper-shouting behind me.
“Jesus! You scared me.” I held a hand to my chest. “I knocked and knocked, and I’ve been calling for you …”
Delaney pressed one finger to her lips. She whispered, “Sorry. This house is so big. Sound doesn’t always travel well.”
Was that a slight at me? A nasty reminder that our house was small, compared to this magnificent beast of a house that her father gave her?
But Delaney’s face showed no signs of malice. Her eyes were puffy with sleep, her cheeks red.
“Are you okay?” I asked, remembering at the last second to keep my voice low.
“Yeah,” Delaney yawned. “I just got him down for a nap. To be honest, I fell asleep with him for a bit. What took you so long to get here?” Her eyes narrowed slightly; she had become my new daughter again.
“I was in Butchertown, doing a little shopping,” I lied. “Where’s Braxton? Can I see him?”
“This way.”
I followed Delaney to the end of the hall, eyes averting more happy photos on the wall. She pressed her finger to her lips a second time, then motioned me inside one of the bedrooms.
This was her room, obviously. Nine Inch Nails and Nirvana posters lined the walls. An old soul with great taste, I had to admit. She had shiny black furniture, a modern dresser and wardrobe. A cool black checkered chair in the corner.
In the center of the bed, a little blonde angel was sleeping.
I approached the boy, cautiously holding my breath.
I’d seen the twins several times, mostly while stalking photos on Samantha’s Facebook page. But there was something different about seeing him in person, and so close up.
For the first time, I realized how much he looked like Delaney. Sure, he was blonde, and she was dark, but with his eyes closed in sleep, he could have been her at age two. His lashes were long, cheeks dimpled. Like a monstrous little cherub.
I pressed my hand on his forehead. He was hot, his rosy-red cheeks and ragged breathing an instant giveaway that he was sick. Maybe some sort of virus …
When I glanced back at Delaney, I was surprised to see her still standing by the door. Arms crossed over her chest, she looked uncomfortable … guilty.
She feels bad about asking me to come. She’s worried it upsets me, seeing her half-brother, being in this house …
“Good job at getting him down for a nap. He does still seem to have a mild fever, but I definitely think it’s less than 102.”
Delaney gave me a tired smile. “I gave him some children’s Tylenol I found and took his clothes off and cooled him down with a wet rag.” She stuck her chin out and stood straighter – I could tell she felt proud of herself.
“Great job, honey. You are such a good big sister.”
“Thanks,” she said, awkwardly, shifting foot to foot.
“Where’s the other boy?” I asked.
Delaney rolled her eyes. “The other boy’s name is Brock. He’s asleep across the hall. I thought I should probably keep them as separate as possible, so he doesn’t catch whatever this is too …”
“Smart thinking.” Instinctually, I reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear. She flinched slightly but let me do it. “What about you? How are you feeling?”
She, too, was looking red and blistery. I held the back of my hand to her forehead.
“Mom! I’m fine!” she shouted.
Braxton stirred and made a small moan; we both froze and looked over at him.
He itched his tiny nose with his right hand, but his eyes never opened.
“I should go check on Brock,” Delaney whispered.
“No, let me. If you’re sick, you could pass it to him. Although, there’s a good chance he’ll get it anyway if it’s viral …”
Across the hall, I nudged the door. It opened into another bright white room. Two toddler beds in the center, a neat array of toy bins and shelves with books lining each side of the room. It was like looking into a mirror, each side matching the other.
A perfect room for twins.
My heart splintered and cracked as I sat down on the empty bed, looking at Braxton’s other half. Brock was asleep, snoring softly. Although the boys were identical, Brock’s blonde locks were slightly longer, curls tickling the tops of his ears and hanging low in his eyes. There was a soft, velvety frog on the bed beside him.
Dillan.
The two D’s and the two B’s …
I often wondered if Michael and I would still be together if we hadn’t lost a son. His death changed me, in the way that death often does, and we grew up.
More than that – we grew to hate each other, I guess.
“You lost your parents. You should be able to handle this,” Michael had told me once.
I hated him for that comment. As much as it hurt losing Mom and Dad, losing children is something else entirely.
The fact was that I was too busy mourning my son and raising my daughter to notice that my marriage was unraveling. I’d had no idea he was having an affair. Looking back now, all the signs were there – the late nights at work, the last-minute travel, the closely guarded cell phone …
I stared at the boy, his gentle snores like soft like kitten purrs. I tried to imagine him with darker hair, slightly darker skin.
Is this what Dillan would have looked like?
“Dad just sent me a message.” Dazed, I looked up to find Delaney watching me from the doorway. She was leaning against the frame, her eyes soft and filled with sadness. “They’re on their way back.”
I stood up and adjusted the blankets around the boy, showing Delaney that I wasn’t heartless – that I knew this boy was her brother and that I cared for him too because of that …
“Did your father say why he didn’t answer your calls?”
“He was so worried about Sam that he rushed her in and left his cell phone behind in the car.”
Just as I suspected. Worried about his wife … but what about Delaney? What about his other children?
“Did you tell him about Braxton?” I asked, unclenching my teeth. Michael had always been selfish, and he compartmentalized everything. If one thing goes wrong, he can’t deal with the rest …
Sure, Delaney was old enough to help with her siblings, but still …
He shouldn’t put everything on her while Samantha is healing, and he should most certainly keep his phone nearby in case of emergencies.
“Yeah. They’re going to be here any minute.”
That mask of discomfort was back. Delaney didn’t want them to return home and find me – the evil ex – in their lovely paradise house.
“Okay. Well, I’ll leave you to it then.” I gave her a light kiss on the cheek and once again, she recoiled. “Why don’t you come home tonight? You’re looking a little peaked yourself. I could fix you some soup, take care of you for a change … I’m sure your dad can handle the twins.” But I wasn’t sure about that at all, to be honest.
“Nah. I’ll be fine. I’ll take some Tylenol and have a nap when they get here.” Delaney turned and started walking down the long, dark hallway, leading me out of the house.
“I’d really like you home soon. There are things I’d like to discuss with you, and catching up to do. Plus, I’m sure you’re behind on your homework.”