“You see the sense in what I’m saying,” my sister demands. “You embarrassed them both.”
“That wasn’t my intention.” But I meant what I said when I told Holland I can only think of myself while she’s around. And I have no intention of letting her go. “But I understand you feel they both deserve better than me.”
“They deserve not to be played with.”
She’s right. But the knowledge doesn’t make me want Holland less.
Or make me any less determined.
As it turns out, I do find myself a little peckish, so I brave breakfast where I behave like cordiality itself. There are no strange questions or funny looks because I am the duke. And because Griffin and my sister aren’t there, fortunately. I even arrive in time to wave our departing guests a fond farewell while suggesting someone find Portia—someone other than me; she’s a little lower down my list this morning—and ask her if she’d like to join Matteo, Van, and the ghillie (the man in the know about all things hunting) in a romp through the heather-covered hills this morning, deer stalking. I have very important dukedom business to attend to, of course. Or so I tell them. Once the trio has departed in the ghillie’s dilapidated Land Rover, I dutifully report to Chrissy, contrite as any schoolboy. Or rather, I bump into her again during my hunt for Holland. Not that I admit to anything or answer her questions, tacitly suggesting it would be ungentlemanly of me to speak to her about Holland without her knowledge.
Chores complete, I head off in search of the woman herself, hoping to salvage this thing between us. I can’t promise her long-term devotion, and I think I made that clear last night at the dinner table. But she liked me well enough before. I’m sure I can rekindle a little more of that sentiment. At least, until she finds out the truth of this family. Of me. But by then, she’ll likely be conveniently tired of me.
27
Alexander
“You’re very chipper this morning.”
My footsteps falter against the worn flagstones at the sound of Griffin’s voice. “Well, I was,” I reply impassively as, for the second time today, one of my siblings falls into step with me. If I didn’t know better, I’d say I was being watched. “Did you want something, Griffin?”
“Me? Always.” His teeth gleam white in the dim light. We’re in the old part of the castle, which tends to be gloomier than the more recent additions to the hodgepodge mess of buildings. “Why, what’s on offer?”
Room and board. Old-fashioned entertainments. Hunting. Stalking. Decent wine and whisky. Not Holland.
“Why did Van bring you this weekend?” This is more like a thought spoken aloud.
“I didn’t realise I needed an invitation. I’m part of the family, aren’t I? The black sheep and all that.”
“You’ve been part of this family for as long as I’ve known about you.” Not that he needs reminding, I’m sure. Our father kept his and his sister’s existence from us, but not the knowledge of Isla and I from them. While their presence in his life came as a shock to us, I do think we got the better end of the deal. Ignorance was bliss while it lasted. Now it’s just one more chain around my neck. As for Griffin and Rosa, our interactions to this day are carried out under this veiled sort of animosity. Understandable, really.
I’d say my father was a conniving cunt, but the description doesn’t really do him justice. He fucked all of us over for his own entertainment, and I hope the fact that we’re now reconciled, though not quite friends, has him spinning in his grave.
“You don’t need an invitation. I just wondered why you travelled with Van.” And why he’s working for Van’s uncle when he’s worked so hard to get where he is. I’m sure he wouldn’t be the first barrister to become corrupt.
“A private jet is always preferable to the train,” he says as we step out of the open doors and portico, out into the sunlight. “Where are you off to, by the way?”
“I was about to ask you the same thing.”
“That I can answer. I’m coming with you.”
I draw to a stop, turning to him. “So I say again, what do you want, Griffin?”
“I want Holly. But first, I want to know what’s she doing here.”
“What is it with the obsession with the girl?” Ironically, it’s a question I could be asking myself.
“Obsession is a little strong. Unless it’s not me you’re asking.” When I don’t fill in the gap in our conversation, he carries on. “You were a bit light on your loafers last night trying to get at her.”
“Get at her?” I repeat, my words dripping with disdain.
“Get to her, then.” He shrugs.
“If you were watching, then you must have seen how surprised I was to see her here.”
“What I saw was her throwing hors d’oeuvres all over the place, then you dragging her out of the room.”
It strikes me how those words could paint one of a dozen incidents involving our father. He liked to bully his children, manhandle his wife, hire pretty housemaids then terrorise them. Flaunt his mistresses around the place. Not that Griffin would know any of that.
“And what was going on in the library?”
I find my steps slowing. “Nothing that pertains to you.”
“That atmosphere seemed quite charged.” He turns to face me, sliding his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
“Practising your cross-examinations, Counsel?”
“What I don’t get,” he says, “is why bother feeding me all that bullshit about an employment agency back at Thornbeck when you’ve very clearly brought Holland up here for your own use.”
“She’s not a ride-on mower,” I snarl, pivoting to face him. I’d thought to keep our interaction even, that I’d stay calm, but it looks like where Holland is concerned, I have very little control over my emotions.
Griffin and I are of a height and weight, and while I’d love to teach him the meaning of respect, it would only serve to prove to him that I’ve done something wrong. And fuck it, I have not. Why is everyone around me determined to make me think otherwise? “We do not use people at Kilblair Castle.”
Not anymore.
“Touchy,” he crows. “You know, there’s nothing worse than a reformed man slut. Especially when they turn all sanctimonious and judging.”
“I’ll thank you to think and speak of my staff with respect while you’re here,” I retort, disregarding his taunt. His threat? “Even those I had no idea were working here before I arrived. Whether you believe me or not, I had no idea Holland was employed at the castle, that she was running the education centre, or that she was filling in for Hugh and Archie’s nanny. And by the way, what the hell were you thinking, bringing attention to her as you did last night?”
“I was just pointing out who she was. Introducing her, if you like.”
I shake my head at his bald-faced lie.
“There’s such a difference between your stations, don’t you think? The duke and the nanny. Sounds like something I saw once in a club in Berlin. A spanking scene, I seem to remember.”