A soft meow made us all look down, and Dunkin, who tended to stay far away from strangers, was standing at Declan’s feet.
“Well, hello, beautiful.” Declan put out his hand and Dunkin delicately sniffed it.
“That’s Dunkin,” I told him. “She typically doesn’t talk to strangers, so you should feel very loved.”
“I do.” Declan chuckled and then reached down to pick up my cat. She settled on his lap like she’d always known him, kneaded his thighs a few times to get comfortable, and then curled up in a little ball.
“I think you have a new friend,” Kiki said, smiling.
“Apparently.” Declan scratched behind her ears and Dunkin started to purr.
“Wow. She might like you even better than she likes me,” I said, laughing.
“She might also be angling for my dinner,” Declan said wryly.
“When’s Nobody’s Fool going back on the road?” Noah asked him as we started to eat. “I saw you guys live last summer and it was awesome.”
“I don’t know,” Declan said slowly. “We’re taking a month off to re-evaluate our next step. Depending on what we decide, we’ll probably go into the studio and record the second album.”
“Do most bands record an album a year?” Kiki asked him.
“Some do, some don’t. With Pretty Harts, we did one every two years because we spent so much time on the road, we didn’t have time to get to the studio.”
“Touring the world must be epic,” Noah said, a dreamy look on his face. “I wanted to play guitar when I was a kid, but there was no money for a guitar, much less lessons. And then the car accident in tenth grade kind of fucked me up.”
I looked up in surprise. Noah never talked about the car accident that had killed his best friend Jon, Jon’s girlfriend Shelley, and paralyzed Noah’s girlfriend, Samantha.
“Were you hurt?” Declan asked him.
Noah glanced at me. “You didn’t tell him?”
“About the car accident?” I shook my head. “No. It never came up.”
“I wasn’t hurt,” Noah said, staring at the burger in front of him. “But my best friend and his girl died, and my girlfriend at the time was paralyzed from the waist down. I walked away without a scratch.”
“Oh. Wow. I’m sorry.” Declan looked sad.
“It’s been a long time.” The haunted look that had been a part of him for so long grew more distinct and he looked away. “I was drunk that night. Passed out in the back seat. They think that’s why I was okay, because I didn’t tense up or try to move or anything. Sam, my ex-girlfriend, said she screamed for thirty minutes before help came. And I never woke up.” He scratched his head. “I don’t remember any of it. I don’t even remember getting in the car, but when I woke up my whole life had changed.”
“My mom died in a car accident when I was twelve,” Declan said quietly. “My dad was driving and I was in the back seat. I remember it was like it was yesterday. Believe me, it’s better to not remember.”
I turned to stare at him, sliding one of my hands into his. “You didn’t tell me that when you talked about your mom,” I said softly.
“I don’t talk about it much. It was twenty years ago. She’s been gone longer than I had her in my life, you know? But the memory is painful as fuck. I’d do anything to not think about it ever again.”
Noah lifted his gaze. “Did you watch your mom die?”
“I didn’t know it at the time, but yeah, I did.”
“Dude.” Noah looked as heartbroken as I felt. “I’m sorry, man.”
“It’s all right. Really. But don’t beat yourself up for not remembering, for not being awake…you weren’t driving, so there wasn’t anything you could have done. Trust me, remembering the details won’t bring them back or make it hurt any less. Be glad those aren’t your last memories of your friends.”
“What ever happened to Sam?” Kiki asked. “Does she still live around here?”
Noah shook his head. “She died a year and a half ago. Suicide.”
My eyes widened and I gaped at him. “You never told me that,” I said to him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were mad at me.” He met my gaze and there was nothing in his but regret.
“I was mad—” I cut myself off abruptly. A year and a half ago was when he’d fallen off the wagon. “You started using again after you found out about it.” I closed my eyes, guilt ripping through me. “Oh, Noah. I wish you’d have come to me instead of…”
“Bri used her college money to send me to rehab,” Noah told Declan. “I was clean for about a year and then Sam died. I felt so damn guilty. I started reliving the accident every time I closed my eyes, even though I don’t actually remember a god damn thing, and the only thing that made it stop was the drugs.”
“Someday, if you’d like, I’ll introduce you to my guitar player, Stu Killorn. He went through something similar, but instead of drugs, he wound up in prison. He’s dealt with it in healthier ways, so you might find some insight in talking to him.”
“I don’t know that there’s enough insight in the world to fix me,” Noah admitted. “But if you think it might help, I’ll try anything.”
“Stu’s in L.A. right now, but I’ll hook you two up as soon as he gets back.”
“Cool. Thanks.” Noah paused. “I didn’t mean to bring everyone down. Sorry.”
“It’s all right,” I told him. “It’s good to talk it out sometimes.”
“Yeah, but this is my first time meeting your boyfriend and he probably thinks I’m a chump.”
“Nah.” Declan shook his head. “We all have our demons. Trust me.”
16
Bash
* * *
I’d agreed to do the interview with Simon anyway, despite the band being on a break because we didn’t want there to be any kind of gossip about trouble within our ranks. Stu signed in from L.A. and we chatted with Simon and some listeners who called in for three hours. Honestly, it had been a lot of fun, but that just confused me even more. I’d spent the last couple of days immersed in Brianna, not really thinking about the band situation, but at some point I’d have to. Not tonight, though.
I had an adorable overnight guest, having taken Dunkin with me tonight since Brianna was going to spend a few days here. I was happy to have the little black fluffball around, and she’d been on my lap for the last hour, probably starved for attention since Bri had been either at work or with me lately. Which I liked but the result was that it left Dunkin alone too often.
Since Bri had to work and I’d be on my own until she got done, I pulled up the movie Grease from one of the streaming apps I subscribed to. I wasn’t sure what to expect, other than I probably wouldn’t enjoy it, but it seemed to be something that had made a big impression on Brianna, so I’d give it a whirl. I leaned back in bed and nearly groaned at the cheesy theme song. I hoped I’d get some insight into the most interesting yet skittish woman I’d ever met. I didn’t know why she thought my life was so intimidating, because at my core I was just a guy. A rich one, but still just a guy.