Aodhan understood her meaning: Whatever had taken place, it was too late to save the residents. Waiting for Vetra wouldn’t put them in harm’s way—and, harsh as it was, right now they knew the people of the stronghold settlement were alive. And those people needed their help to prepare for the journey to come.
Suyin opened out her wings in a restless movement, closed them back in. “I don’t foresee an easy answer—it is for this reason that I’d like you both to stay behind with the domestic team in charge of closing up the stronghold.”
She held up a hand when Aodhan would’ve spoken. “You know we have the numbers to do this safely—and Caliane’s elite squadron even now watches over the location where I intend to settle.” A light in her eyes. “I think I will like my citadel by the sea, across from a friend.”
Frown lines between her brows as she looked in the direction of the dark stone of the stronghold. “This is not a good place.”
“Investigating the hamlet while keeping an eye on the stronghold shutdown team seems a small task. Illium and I would be more use to you en route.”
Frown deeper, Suyin said, “I overflew the hamlet prior to our meeting to see if I could spot what Vetra might’ve missed. I had little time, but I felt an awareness of a cold evil. As if the silence of the hamlet made its whispers audible.”
Aodhan raised an eyebrow. “Are you Cassandra now, Suyin? Making prophecies and talking in riddles.”
Sudden laughter that brightened Suyin’s eyes. “Truly, I did sound so, did I not?” She shook her head. “No, it’s just an itch under my skin. You keep telling me to listen to my instincts and so I will. Stay until the shutdown team is ready to leave, see if you can unearth what it is that so disturbed me.”
“If we find nothing?”
“Then join me by the sea.” No laughter now, only a heaviness of emotion. “It may be that what I took for the kiss of evil may be a thing of quieter horror.”
Not understanding, Illium glanced at Aodhan.
Many survivors can’t deal with the grief and guilt, Aodhan told him. They choose death—for themselves and their children. Eyes of translucent blue and green shards held Illium’s. As I chose a living death for an eternity.
Illium flinched. Aodhan never talked about those years. The odd allusion to it, yes, but never anything so full frontal. As he stood there, shaken by the unexpected blow, he realized something: I don’t know this Aodhan at all.
9
Yesterday
Illium pointed. “Mama, look! Sparkles!”
His mother glanced over from where she was talking to the Teacher. Illium was too young to go to school yet, but he liked the Teacher. She was kind and had soft eyes, and when she smiled, he always wanted to smile right back.
“Oh,” his mother said, her face lighting up in a way that made him bounce. “That’s the little one you met once, when you were both babes. His parents took him with them to a remote posting soon afterward.”
“But babies stay,” Illium argued. “You said.” That’s what she’d told him when he’d asked to fly beyond the boundaries of the Refuge.
“Yes, mostly babies stay here.” She ran her hand over his hair, and he saw that she had a streak of green paint in her own hair. “Unless their parents need to travel and the location to which they’re traveling is a safe one for a child.”
Illium’s papa didn’t live at the Refuge. He wondered if he could go with his papa. Only he never would. He loved his papa, but if he went away, then his mama would be all alone. And Illium already knew that when his papa was at his court, he must be very busy. He was busy even when he came to visit Illium and his mama.
Seeing that the sparkling boy was standing alone while the woman who was probably his ma talked to another grown-up, Illium said, “I go play?”
“Be home before dark.”
As Illium began to walk toward the boy, his wings dragging, he heard Teacher say, “Don’t you worry about him wandering the Refuge on his own? He’s so small.”
“Oh, we all watch the little angels, Jessamy—you know you do it, too. And I know my tendencies.” His mother’s voice changed. “I would keep him tied to my apron strings, protect him from all harm, and in doing so, I would damage him beyond repair.” A deep breath. “So I have learned to let him go, allow him to stretch his horizons.”
Not really paying attention to the grown-up talk, Illium tried to pull up his wings as he walked over to the other boy, but it was hard. His wings were bigger than his body and they kept on scraping along the ground.
He wanted to fly, but he could only go two or three wingbeats before he got too tired and had to land. His papa had said he’d be able to fly farther and longer soon, but it was really, really, really, really, really hard to wait!
“Hello,” he said to the boy angel, who was the shiniest person Illium had ever seen. Even his hair sparkled. “I’m Illium!” He knew the boy would understand him—everyone was taught this language even if they spoke lots of others.
The sparkly boy didn’t smile, just looked at him with eyes that were all shattered but pretty. “I’m Aodhan.”
“Wanna play?”
The boy looked up at the woman with a long fall of hair as pale as the dawn sunlight Illium’s mama liked to paint, while Illium snuggled in a big and fuzzy blanket next to her, but she was still talking to that other grown-up. “I gotta wait.”
Illium tried to be pa-pa-pa—tent. He truly did. But grown-ups talked a lot. Deciding that maybe Aodhan’s ma just hadn’t seen Illium, he tugged on the bottom of her gown. When she looked down with a little jerk that ran through her body—see, she hadn’t seen Illium—he said, “Ah-dan go play?”
Green eyes bright like Aodhan’s. “Yes.” A smile that was quiet, but not mean. “It’ll do him good to make little angel friends after his time away.”
Not waiting for more, Illium held out his hand to his new friend. “We go play!”
The other boy took his hand, and they ran off, wings dragging on the grass. They only stopped after they were out of sight of the grown-ups, their chests huffing. Then they looked at interesting stones, and Aodhan found a spotted yellow bug that they watched for a while before they decided to go someplace else.
“Ah-dan,” Illium said, trying out the name that made his tongue twist up.
“Ee-lee-um.” Aodhan made a thinking face, then pointed at Illium’s wings. “Blue?”
Laughing, Illium nodded, thought about it, then said, “Adi?”
Aodhan smiled.