When she looked up, he dipped his wings.
Her smile held a playful impudence to it this time, and it caught at his heart, made him remember another woman, another smile. Kaia had beamed at him with bold flirtatiousness from the first. He’d blushed from the pleasure of it.
“Will you walk with me?” he’d finally screwed up the courage to ask.
Basket of flowers held to her side, she’d given him a saucy look. “If I have the time.” Then she’d giggled and walked off, a lovely young woman unafraid and intrepid.
If he had been Cassandra, able to see the future—if he’d known the heartrending loss to come, would he have chased after her as he’d done that day? He’d flown over her, doing aerial tricks until she dropped her basket of flowers and clapped, and he’d known he’d won her.
Then he’d lost her. In the most absolute way possible.
As he was now about to lose Aodhan. “But I can’t force him to be my friend,” he rasped to the night sky. “I can’t hold on to him if he wants to go.”
We’re all a little broken. No one goes through life with a whole heart.
—Keir, Healer
18
Yesterday
Aodhan flew toward Eh-ma’s house. Illium had stayed with him at his house the previous night, and Aodhan’s mother had baked them sweetcakes and his father had taken them for a walk along the top of the gorge.
Aodhan had been so happy. So had Illium. Especially when Aodhan’s mother let them eat three sweetcakes each! She’d seemed to like being with them, and his father hadn’t been distracted by his books. Those were Aodhan’s favorite times and he’d felt proud to have Illium see how his parents could sometimes be.
“Your ma is nice,” Illium had whispered before they went to sleep. “And your pa, too. He has a lot of books.”
“Yes. Like Eh-ma has paints and brushes everywhere—even in her hair!”
They’d giggled at that and slept.
Aodhan had thought Illium would stay in the morning, too—Aodhan’s papa had promised to make honey oats for breakfast and Illium loved those—but then Raphael had come and taken him away and Aodhan had a knowing in his heart that something was very, very wrong. But when he’d asked his parents, they’d just said, “Oh, Aodhan. This is a thing for adults.”
That was wrong. It wasn’t a thing for grown-ups if Illium had been taken away. Aodhan’s best friend wasn’t a grown-up.
So he’d waited and waited and waited until his parents were busy with their books, and now he flew toward Eh-ma’s house in the evening light. Yesterday, on their walk, he’d found a pretty stone that he’d thought she’d like. He’d give it to her, and he’d ask her what was happening. Eh-ma would explain. She always explained things.
But it wasn’t Eh-ma who came to the door. It was a far taller and thinner angel, her hair the color of chestnuts after his father roasted them, and her eyes soft. Aodhan had known she was kind the first time he’d seen her, even before she’d ever said a word.
“Aodhan.” Smile as soft as the feathers of a color like pink—but deeper—that he could see over her shoulder, Teacher Jessamy knelt in front of him. “I’m afraid you can’t visit Lady Sharine today.”
Aodhan’s heart beat too fast. “Is Eh-ma all right?”
A sadness to Jessamy’s smile. “She’s had a big shock, and she needs time to rest.” Leaning in, she kissed Aodhan on the forehead. “I’ll tell her you came by, I promise.”
Teacher Jessamy never lied to them, so Aodhan knew she’d keep her promise. Digging inside his pocket, he pulled out the stone. “This is for her.”
Light filled the warm brown of his teacher’s eyes. “Oh, how lovely. I’m sure this will brighten her day.”
“Can I see Illium?”
“Oh, of course—I think that would be very good for him.” Jessamy touched his cheek. She’d asked on the first day of school if he minded if she hugged him or touched him in such small ways, and he’d told her he didn’t. He liked her. She was warm inside like Eh-ma. “He’s with Raphael. You know where Raphael’s Refuge stronghold is?”
When Aodhan nodded hard, Jessamy said, “I’m sure he’ll be very glad to see you. But Aodhan, if he’s mad at you, or doesn’t act like himself, please know it has nothing to do with you. He’s had a bad shock, too.”
Aodhan’s best friend was never mean to him, but he nodded again. “Is he hurt inside?” It was something Eh-ma had taught him, that sometimes, the hurts weren’t ones you could see.
Jessamy gave him a solemn look. “Yes, sweet boy. He’s hurt inside.”
“I’ll go see him now.” He couldn’t leave his friend alone when he was hurting.
Jessamy stood and watched as he walked to the edge of the drop-off beside Eh-ma’s home, and flew off it. He couldn’t do vertical takeoffs like the big boys yet, but he could fly good enough to get to Raphael’s stronghold.
Still, he was puffed by the time he reached it, his wings drooping as he came in to land on the big flat balcony that Raphael had said he and Illium were allowed to use.
Raphael was already on that balcony. “There you are, Aodhan,” he murmured.
“Did Jason see me?” Aodhan huffed, gulping in the cold air.
“No, Jason is in my territory. Another sentry spotted you.” Raphael held out a small glass of water. “Drink this first, then we’ll talk.”
Thirsty after his long flight and wanting to see Illium, Aodhan gulped down the drink, gave Raphael the glass, then took the hand Raphael held out. They walked together into a big room that had lots of sitting places. Putting the glass on a nearby table, Raphael lifted Aodhan up onto a bench seat by a window.
The archangel then sat down next to him, his huge wings taking up all the space behind Aodhan. His face was more serious than Aodhan had ever seen it.
Scared, he said, “It’s something really bad, isn’t it, Rafa?”
“Yes, Aodhan, it is.” Raphael met his eyes. “I’ve spoken with your parents, and they’ve agreed with me that you need to be told. You’re too important to Illium for it to be otherwise.”
Aodhan bit his lower lip. “Did you make my parents?” Because they’d been patting him on the head and telling him he didn’t need to know.
“Perhaps I applied a little pressure.” Raphael’s tone was . . . different. Hard. “But there are times to protect a child, and there are times to trust a child’s heart and strength. I think you have plenty of both.”