Delilah grabs nipple paste, and my breasts instantly start to hurt thinking about a baby latching on. How long does a baby nurse? How often?
“You know, the other day I was at McDonald’s and there was a mom with her tit out there feeding her baby,” Addie says, picking a bottle with little birds printed on the side.
“Oh my God, don’t be an all-natural ‘I’ll pop my titties out anywhere, and not put deodorant on so my milk isn’t contaminated, mothers,’ Piper!” Delilah says sternly, looking at me like I’m about to pop out a peace sign and braid my armpit hair.
“You know, these days they say the formula is just as good as breast milk,” Addie informs from the end of the aisle, a giant can of powder formula in hand. I bite my bottom lip, not sure what I wanna do. Maybe I should ask Doc, I wonder what she’s doing.
“Do you know what your mom is going to do?” I ask Addie. She scoffs. “Hell no, and I wouldn’t ask her.”
Moving on to the next aisle, we find some toys, Delilah instantly finds the loudest thing on the shelf, and Addie is still looking at breastfeeding stuff on the other aisle. I find myself looking at stuffed animals. I run my fingers over a fox, it’s flat because it doesn’t have any stuffing in it. It’s cute though.
“Oh my God that is the cutest, get it!” Delilah says beside me, making me jump.
“What, what is it?” Addie asks, coming around the corner.
Taking it down, I look it over, it is cute. I need a nursery.
“Did you know that foxes are very independent animals, they don’t have to thrive in packs, they’ll go and hunt on their own.” Addie throws down some of her school knowledge and it hits me right in the heart. My finger picks at the stitched eye.
“I want my daughter to be independent,” I say aloud. I feel like I grew up always needing something or someone next to me… until recently. I had to fight on my own to escape that house of horror, and I feel more independent than I ever was. My little girl is going to be strong from the start.
Shadows come over the aisle, grabbing mine and the girl’s attention. Big Chief is at one end, and Saint on the other end walking toward me with a grim expression. My heart sinks in the pit of my stomach, something is wrong.
“We need to go,” he mutters, taking the things I’ve picked up and placing them all on a shelf.
“Why?” Delilah whispers.
“Someone who looks like Rad was spotted near electronics,” he informs, taking me by the hand.
“Then let’s go grab his ass and kick it!” Delilah says a little too loudly.
“We’re in a public place, Delilah, we can’t. Right now we just need to get you girls back to the club safe,” Big Chief informs from behind us, the rest of the guys circling us girls in like a herd of antelope.
My eyes pop around the guys trying to look through their arms and around their heads to see if I can get a glimpse of who they’re seeing. Is it Rad or someone who looks like him? A piece of me wants to finish what I started and beat him to a bloody pulp in the electronic aisle, only this time I’ll strangle him with a cord… kinda like I did his mother.
“Keep walking, Piper,” Saint says from over his shoulder, reading my mind. I return his statement with a glare. People stare at us, others looking away as fast as they can, but one thing is for sure. We’re making a scene.
Out in the parking lot, we all shuffle back in the car as the guys straddle their bikes. I didn’t even get to look at cribs. Just as Delilah starts the car, she sits back and pulls open her leather jacket revealing the fox we were looking at in Target. My mouth drops and I grab it from her.
“You stole this?” I ask in shock.
“Damn it, Delilah, we can’t go nowhere,” Addie scolds from the back seat but looks just as excited as I am. Delilah got the baby something, its first thing.
My eyes begin to tear up as I run my fingers over the fur of the fox.
“Hell yeah, I got it. That baby deserves everything, starting with that fox and what it stands for.” Delilah glances over her shoulder at Addie. “Independent.”
My hormones get the best of me and I pull Delilah into a big hug.
“I love you bitch.” I sniffle, and she pats my back.
“Okay, easy with the lovey shit. We tried this once and it wasn’t for us, remember?” she reminds me of the time we got drunk and made out causing me to laugh aloud.
“We were really young and in our experiment days,” I defend, and Addie just shakes her head.
Bobby hammers his fist on the driver door, conveying for us to pull our shit together and drive forward. I sit back, a big smile on my face and the fox in my lap as Delilah yells at Bobby, and throws the car in drive.
I know she said she was going to move for that painting job, what am I going to do without her?
Pulling into the club parking lot Saint, and Lip don’t get off their motorcycles. Climbing out of Delilah’s car I still when I notice Shadow walk out of the club and gets on his bike.
“Where are they going?” I ask nobody in particular. Delilah stands on the driver’s side of her car watching with a quizzical look on her face. All three of them leave without saying a word.
Big Chief strides past us, and I catch up to him.
“Where are they going?”
He side-eyes me but doesn’t answer.
“Damn it, where is Saint going?” I raise my voice, pulling on his arm to stop him. He sighs but stops. His brows pinched together with frustration, he looks over me as he answers me.
“To see if Rad is still there,” he informs, his eyes finally meeting mine. I shove him.
“Why? Why didn’t he just do that when we were there?” I shout.
“Because, you were there and he didn’t want to take a chance, Piper!” he shouts back.
This is too much. Saint could get hurt, he could get arrested. I sob, my eyes filling with tears.
“Aw damn, Pipe, don’t fucking cry,” Big Chief says, his voice grated with sympathy. He pulls me in for a hug, and I let him. Resting my head on his chest, I notice how sweaty he is. He rubs my back, and I wipe my nose with his shirt.
“Thanks,” I mutter emotionally.
“Come on, babe, let’s go inside. It’s hot out here,” Addie offers, Delilah right beside her.
Inside the club, I take one of my flip-flops and throw it across the room in anger. My mom, who’s standing on the side of the bar, watches.
“Ag, why can’t he just die!” I shout.
“Hey hun, how did shopping go?” my mom asks, apparently oblivious to what went down at Target.
“We got a fox for the baby!” Addie says with excitement, sitting at the bar.
I sniffle, trying to reel in my crazy hormones.
“Yeah, we got a toy, but then the guys saw Rad… they think.” I talk with my hands, waving them all around.
My mom’s eyes widen, her back straightening.
“You sure they saw that motherfucker?” she asks, her tone unreadable. She’s either afraid or wanting revenge for when Rad shot her.
I shrug. “I dunno.”
“Let’s go get some rest, Piper,” Dani suggests, standing from the couch.
I shake my head.
“I can’t sleep knowing Saint is out there.”