“I don’t need those fifteen years back,” Ellison said. “They’re gone. But I want… I want this time back. Now. Here. I want you to give me a break and acknowledge that I never intended for you to get hurt. I want you to believe me when I tell you that the biggest regret of my life is that I didn’t speak up for you right away but that I’m not that scared, immature kid anymore. That what happened that night changed me, too, and made me a better person.”
“I know,” I said softly. And I really did know… when I wasn’t fighting my growing feelings for him.
“I don’t need you to like me. I just want you to stop hating me.”
I huffed. “I don’t hate you.” Before he could argue with me, I squeezed his hand and continued. “I thought I did, but it’s not hate. It’s fear. I’m attracted to you, Ells. A lot. And I know you’re not looking for what I would want from you. So I resent this attraction because it’s going to lead to more disappointment. And I’ve already had too much of that from you.”
Ellison surprised me by stopping our progress on the beach and turning his body into mine. He hugged me tightly with his arms around my sides and his nose pressed into my neck. After a beat of hesitation, I wrapped my arms around him and held tight.
“I’m attracted to you too.” His voice was muffled against my skin and soft with insecurity. “And being rejected over and over again is killing me. But I can’t… I can’t stop wanting you. It’s not an experiment, Grey. If it was, I would have found someone else long before now. It’s not men I want to try it on with. It’s you. Just you. Only you.”
I felt the slight tremble of his body. He was nervous. I pulled back to cup his face. His eyes were open, and his heart was right there for the taking. “What happens if you walk away from me again?” I asked. My voice was rough, and I felt the tension in every muscle.
Ellison pinned me with his glare. “Need I remind you that so far this past week, it’s been you who’s walked away from me over and over again? I’ve laid myself at your fucking feet, begged you for more, introduced you to people who matter to me. Do you want promises? You know I can’t make them, and you also know you yourself wouldn’t make them this early on. But I’m here. I’m not walking away from you. This is me fighting, dammit. And I want to break through this infernal fucking wall you have built up and see the real Grey Blackwood. I hate when you get that stoic look on your face and act like you don’t have a heart. You do. I know you do, so fucking show it to me!”
His hands gripped my shirt tighter as his voice got louder. I could see his frustration clear as day. I bent forward and kissed him softly, sipping from his lips gently until he made a sound of surrender. Our lips explored each other tentatively at first, sweet and lazy like we had all the time in the world. His fists smoothed out and held me tightly pressed to him before one of his hands moved up into the back of my hair.
I lowered my own hands down from his face to his hips and then around to his ass. He had a nice fucking ass, and I didn’t want to ever take my hands off it.
“I like the way you argue,” Ellison murmured against the skin of my cheek. “Remind me to yell at you more.”
I chuckled. “Pretty sure you don’t need any reminders for that.”
We kissed and caressed for a long time, murmuring a few teasing comments to each other here and there until the sound of someone calling to us carried on the wind.
I felt Ellison’s entire body stiffen up before I noticed who was at the top of the boardwalk stairs with Binnie.
His parents.
And they didn’t look happy.
Ellison’s voice was low, but I could hear the smile in it. “Maybe we don’t mention the engagement just yet.”
16
Ellison
“Therefore, the skillful commander imposes his will on the enemy by making the enemy come to him instead of being brought to the enemy.”
~ Sun Tzu, The Art of War
My parents had impeccable timing. Just when I finally got a taste of what I’d wanted for so long, they turned up to spoil it.
“This is going to be a treat,” I murmured under my breath. Even the sand seemed to be against me as I struggled to slog through the too-soft surface to get to the boardwalk stairs.
Grey’s hand reached for mine with a confidence I didn’t feel but that he always seemed to have in abundance. “It’s going to be okay,” he said in his same calm manner.
“You never get ruffled. It’s annoying as fuck,” I grumbled. He let out the familiar little huff of laughter that seemed to have a magical ability of melting the tension out of my shoulders. I took a deep breath and glanced at him. “I apologize in advance for how horrible this is going to be.”
“I didn’t get to where I am today by being easily intimidated by men like your father.”
He was right. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t still easily intimidated by them. We climbed the stairs to greet them. My father looked Grey up and down like he was trash. I tried to stop trembling.
“Ellison, explain yourself.”
At my father’s brusque command, Grey’s hand tightened possessively around mine. He spoke before I could. “Hello, Warren. And you must be Marianne. I’m Grey Blackwood. It’s nice to see you.”
He was all politeness as he exchanged greetings with my mother and complimented her on her necklace. “It reminds me of the sundial in Binnie’s rose garden,” he said.
My mother’s and Binnie’s faces both lit up. “That’s exactly what it is,” my mom said in surprise, reaching up for the simple gold pendant on her chest. “I gave Binnie and Ian the sundial on their twenty-fifth anniversary, and then Binnie gave me this on my birthday the following year.”
Binnie cut in. “Marianne’s gift card had included a lovely quote about the steadfast nature of the sun on its course and how like our friendship it was. It touched me so much, I had the necklace made so she knew I felt the same way.”
Damn that man. He was so charming, the two ladies hadn’t stood a chance. They tutted over him and his keen observational skills until Binnie side-eyed Grey. “Wait a minute. Did Ellison tell you that story about the necklace already?”
Grey laughed and said no while I sputtered. “I didn’t even know that story,” I said. “It’s so sweet, my teeth would have rotted had I heard about it before now.”
My mom laughed and gave me a big hug, enveloping me in her familiar scent. “I haven’t seen you since Easter weekend. It’s like we don’t even live in the same city anymore.”
“We don’t live in the same city,” I said. “I live in Vermont now.”
“Pfft,” Mom said, dismissing the truth.
Grey barked out a laugh. “Now I see where Ells gets the pfft from,” he said.
My dad continued scowling. “Are you going to explain yourself?”
“Wasn’t planning on it,” I said, trying to project the same calm Grey always did.
Dad looked at Grey. “Taking my life’s work wasn’t enough. Now you’re going to take my son too? What kind of sick fuck are you?”