“Come in.”
Jake was in the doorway, wearing a modified version of what he’d had on earlier. A black T-shirt and a jacket, black jeans, but work boots. He had the same black hat on his head. And there was something about the way the light coming through the window caught his face that made her stop and look at how sharp the edges of his bone structure was. That forced her to examine the way the square line of his jaw met with his strong chin, that made her eyes follow the line up to his lips, nose, eyes. That forced her to take stock of a face that should be absolutely familiar, and see something new in it.
There was something about it that made it difficult to breathe.
If they were really married, what would they be doing right now?
The question caused a pang to shoot through her chest, echoing in her teeth. She gritted them together.
“We have work to do, or did you forget?”
“I was talking to my parents.”
“How did that go?”
She crossed her arms. More as a defense against his gaze than anything else. “My dad is pissed that you didn’t ask his permission.”
“Is that it?”
“He made me swear that you didn’t touch me when I was a teenager.”
“Hell,” Jake said.
“I said you didn’t. I said you didn’t and he believes me. So... That’s it. They’re both so glad that I’ve settled down, Jake. That’s all they really care about. I knew that I needed to do this, but I don’t think I really understood how much until now. My mom was never going to be happy until I turned into this thing that she...that she thinks I should be. And my dad is just... I don’t even know. I thought he really believed in me, you know? But not unconditionally. And I felt kind of guilty for a minute, because they were so happy. But then it went away. It went away because... None of this has anything to do with me. It has to do with an idea of me that would make them more comfortable. And I just can’t be that. I can’t.”
“You know, I think you’re both looking at it wrong. You can be a rodeo rider and a wife someday if you wanted to be.”
He met her gaze for too long. She had to look away because he wouldn’t, and it made her breathing feel shallow.
“It’s not that simple, you know it’s not. I used to want everything, but I realized you can’t do that. You can’t be that. My mom wanted me to be more like Sophie. I know she did. Quieter and softer. A replacement for what she lost.” She swallowed hard. “But I wasn’t happy doing that, and my dad liked having me outdoors with him. But if I...got scared of spiders or complained about the weather he asked if I wasn’t tough enough to handle it. Middle ground just doesn’t work in my family. In my life.”
He cleared his throat and she felt him move closer. Felt the shift in the air. “I know I’m not an expert on dealing with that kind of family stuff. But there are no guarantees in this world. That’s the one thing I’m certain of. You’ve got to follow your own path, because there’s nothing else out there. No destiny. No... There’s just shit that happens or doesn’t.”
She nodded slowly. “I guess. Though that feels...sad. I like to think there’s something bigger than just me.”
He reached out and put his hand on her face, and she froze, her flowers in her hand, her heart in her throat. “There’s nothing bigger than you, Cal. Take care of you.”
Then he straightened and walked out, closing the door firmly behind her and leaving her feeling dizzy and confused.
And so, she left her strange feelings about the day back in her room, with those flowers, which were now shoved into the bottom of her duffel bag. And she wouldn’t think about it again. Wouldn’t think about them again. She knew that she’d done the right thing, no matter how difficult it was. And she wasn’t going to second-guess herself. Not now. Not ever.
CHAPTER EIGHT
IT WAS SURPRISINGLY companionable to live with Callie.
When she wasn’t driving him crazy.
The problem was that prolonged exposure to her wasn’t making his attraction to her any easier to ignore.
When he’d been around her all day every day at the rodeo, it had been a little easier to manage. They’d seen each other in certain situations, and then they’d gone away from each other.
Living in the same house meant running into her at strange times. Seeing her just after she’d gotten out of the shower, when her skin was still warm from the water, and he could feel it radiating off her form. He saw her barefoot, wandering around in sweats. Saw her in the morning when she was up and rumpled from sleep, a crease from her pillowcase pressed across her cheek.
Intimate things that he’d never really shared with anyone he wasn’t related to. It was downright domestic, and it was playing a weird kind of havoc with his libido. And it was all dumb, because she was his friend. And that was it. But he’d done his damnedest to tell himself that for years now and it hadn’t worked. He still thought she was hot. More than that, the chemistry that he felt between them was tense.
And she might not know it, but he did.
She might not understand that the spark between them meant they could light a mattress on fire. He damn well knew. They’d avoided his family over the last couple of weeks, which he told himself was just because they were busy, but in reality it was because having her as even one more part of his life just felt like a potential assault. But today was the big Daniels family early Christmas celebration, and he was thankful for online shopping and fast shipping, because he’d managed to get everybody gifts at the last minute, including Callie. And they’d come gift wrapped. When he took all the packages out of the closet and started to load them into his truck, Callie look chagrined.
“There are presents?”
“You’re a guest,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Of course. I should’ve brought presents for your family.”
“Don’t worry about it. We make a big fuss out of this stuff. But I’ve never really been... Christmas isn’t my favorite.”
“Oh.”
“It just sucks. You know. Dead parents.” There were other aspects of it, but he didn’t talk about that. Not with anyone. And he wasn’t about to get into it with her now.
“No, I know.”
“It was happier before. That’s the problem.”
“Right.”
“For the little kids... We did our best. We did our very best to make Christmas memories for them, because for most of their lives, for most of their childhoods, they didn’t have parents. They only had what we all put together. And so... We did big gift exchanges, even when we had to make things, or give out hand-me-downs. We made tons of food, and we played music. Saying a lot. Anything to keep it from being quiet. Because how terrible would it have been if poor Rose had to lose her mom and dad when she was nine, and then... Not have Christmas, either? Just because we couldn’t get it together. No, none of us wanted that. So... We just have this Christmas tradition. Where we all get together. We have for a long time.”