Colin and I kiss and embrace, laugh and exchange words of excitement and adoration. But when my all-time favorite 22 Goats song, “Fireflies,” begins blaring from the stage, we break apart and turn to look, both of us curious to see who’s playing drums on the song.
It’s Caleb.
He’s sitting behind the drumkit, banging out the famous groove to “Fireflies,” behind Dax and Fish, while Ruby of Fugitive Summer plays keys.
Oh my God.
It’s a truly astonishing moment. And not surprisingly, everyone at the party collectively loses their shit. People always go crazy for this song, regardless, but this time, we all know we’re witnessing history. Frankly, it would have been a showstopper for Caleb to join Dax on any song tonight. But it’s especially mind-blowing to witness Caleb joining Dax on this particular song—the smash-hit love song Dax wrote for his beloved wife, the former Violet Rhodes. Surely, Caleb knows the history of this song, that Dax wrote it about Violet Rhodes, given those final lyrics of the song: You’re a flower, a road, a destination.
I truly can’t believe what I’m seeing. Hearing. Feeling. This song, this moment, is an incredible gift. And not only to Colin and me, as a celebration of our engagement. It’s also a gift to Reed and Georgina on their wedding day. For that matter, it’s a gift to every guest at this wedding, too, who’ll always have an amazing story to tell.
But, mostly, based on what Caleb and I talked about all those months ago at his house, I know this performance is Caleb’s highly personal gift from him to Violet Rhodes Morgan. His first and only love. It’s his way of letting Violet go, once and for all. He’s letting her know he’s finally man enough to wish her happiness, in whatever form that takes. And I couldn’t be prouder of him for it.
Tears pricking my eyes, I throw myself into my new fiancé’s arms and sway with him for the duration of the song, until, during the last bit of lyrics, Colin leans in and whisper-sings them into my ear.
“I’m so glad you said yes,” Colin whispers, as the song reaches its final note.
“Did you have any doubt?”
“No,” he admits, laughing. “But, still, I’m relieved.”
I hold up my hand and gaze at my sparkling rock. “It’s gorgeous. Thank you.”
“You can pick something else, if you’d like.”
“No, it’s perfect.” I smile. “Unlike you.”
Colin laughs. It’s become our little inside joke these past six months—the fact that Colin isn’t a perfect man, but he’s perfect for me.
“I love you so much,” I say simply.
“I love you, too,” Colin replies. “And I always will.”
Epilogue
Colin
One year later
Shit.
I was so excited to surprise Amy with a strings arrangement of “Swoon” for her walk down the aisle. But now that the moment is upon me, now that Amy is set to appear at the top of that aisle any second now, I’m suddenly worried I’ve messed up.
Will Amy love the fact that I told the string quartet to disregard her selection for her walk down the aisle and, instead, play my requested arrangement? Or will she be not quite as thrilled with my surprise as I’ve been assuming, up until this moment?
I shift my weight nervously, take a deep breath, and exhale.
It’s become a fun thing in our relationship to surprise each other. Amy’s told me countless times, in other contexts, she loves surprises. But it’s suddenly occurring to me that maybe it’s a bridge too far for me to surprise her, in front of all these people, with her makeup done so carefully and a photographer at the ready to capture every smile and tear.
Well, it’s too late now.
All the bridesmaids are in place. Jackson, our ring bearer, has finished his walk. Even our tiny flower girl, Billie, has made her way down the aisle in her mother’s arms. Granted, she was dead-ass asleep. But her dress was cute.
We’re standing on a clifftop in Kuai for our wedding, which honestly blows my mind. When I attended Kat Morgan’s weeklong destination wedding in Hawaii years ago, I remember thinking, “If I ever find someone I want to marry, and if our band hits it big enough that I’ve got some money to burn, I’d want to get married just like this.” And now, here we are. What a mindfuck. Sure, I imagined it. But I never believed it would happen. And I certainly never thought, not in a million years, the hypothetical bride in that scenario would be Amy O’Brien!
Speaking of which, the strings quartet just started playing their kickass arrangement of “Swoon,” which means my bride should be appearing at the top of that aisle, any second now, probably looking flabbergasted by my surprise.
Our officiant for the wedding—Ryan Morgan, who got all necessary paperwork completed to be able to do this for us today—instructs the assembled audience to stand, which they do. All eyes turn to the top of the aisle as “Swoon” swirls through the golden air . . . But Amy doesn’t appear.
There’s a wall of flowers behind our seated guests, so it’s possible Amy is standing mere inches from that opening, pulling herself together. Knowing her, that’s exactly what’s happening. I’m sure she’s identified the song’s distinctive melody and now needs a second to gather herself, so she won’t sob while walking down the aisle.
[To hear what Amy is hearing—a snippet of the strings version of “Swoon”—click here.]
Just as I’m starting to worry a bit, Amy finally appears at the top of the aisle on her father’s arm, looking more beautiful in Violet’s creation for her than I’ve ever seen her. She’s an angel. Ethereal. Glorious. Glowing. Perfect.
Luckily, Amy isn’t crying too hard on her father’s arm. And even better, it’s immediately clear, thanks to her beaming smile, whatever tears she’s been shedding are borne of pure joy.
As she floats down the aisle, her eyes latch onto mine, and I feel the smile she beams me all the way down in my soul.
Amy mouths, “Thank you.” Clearly referencing the song. And in reply, I mouth “I love you” and “You look beautiful.”
Finally, I’m taking my bride’s hand from her father’s. Leading her to our assigned spot. Whispering to her that she’s gorgeous and I love her.
“Thank you for the song,” she whispers back. “It’s incredible.”
“You always say you love surprises.” I wipe a tear from Amy’s cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
We settle into our spots and Ryan launches into our extremely short ceremony. As short as it is, though, it’s still a blur to me, until Ryan says it’s time for our vows.
At Ryan’s prompting, I turn to Amy, take her hands in mine, and gaze into her gorgeous emerald eyes. “Amy, I promise to love you till I’m old and gray. From beyond the grave. Forever and a day. Amy, I love you more than words could ever say. But let me try to say it, anyway.”
Everyone watching us chuckles.
“I promise to always be faithful to you. I promise to always protect and love you. To listen to you and make you feel safe enough to always speak your mind with me.” My chest heaves. “I promise, Amy, I’ll always swoon for you, and only you, forever.”