“I did, and I’m nervous about it.”
“But you did it!” He kissed her hard and spun her around, earning more laughter, more kisses, and barks from Scrappy. “I’m so frigging proud of you! I want to hear all about it. Do you want to grab a drink or take a walk? My grandparents invited us for a late dinner if you’re up to it, and if you are, then we have a couple of hours.”
“Dinner with your grandparents sounds great. But I’m too nervous to do anything right now.” She set down her bag and unhooked Scrappy’s leash to pick him up. “Can we just sit in the sun and talk?”
“Absolutely.”
They sat in the grass beside the lot, and she said, “I was so nervous when I walked into the room. There were seven people on the committee. Seven.”
“That sounds intimidating, but I bet you did great.”
“It was kind of funny at first, because Mayor Osten introduced me to everyone and I was too nervous to remember their names. I think I had to ask some of them three times, and I was sure I’d blown it. But once we started talking about what they were looking for, I was too pumped about the project to be nervous. It turns out they aren’t interested in just the history of the island. I was worried about that. They want to show the community of Silver Island with a mix of history, the changes the island has seen through the years, and the things that make it unique from other islands. I have so many ideas. I can’t wait to get them all down on paper.”
He’d never seen her that excited. “That’s great. When will you start?”
“First I have to come up with the design and they need to approve it. The Bistro doesn’t close for the winter until the middle of October, and Abby’s wedding is the second weekend in November, so I’m thinking of starting sometime in between the two. Just getting ready, you know? Putting up scaffolding and laying it out.”
“That sounds great. What will that mean for your schedule? Will you work there when you would usually work at the Bistro, and still go back and forth to the Cape?”
“I don’t know. It’s exhausting going back and forth. I have no idea how long the mural will take, but my guess is several weeks. It might be easier to stay here and really focus on it without breaking my creative stride.” She looked down at Scrappy as she petted him. “But I’m not sure I can do that.”
“Why? I thought you said Tank was okay with you working as little or as much as you wanted.”
“He is. It’s not because of that. The Cape is my safety net,” she said softly. “I live in this safe little bubble there, and with the exception of a hot boatbuilder showing up, there are very few surprises. That’s how I like it. Like I said, it’s safe. But now I have my sisters and you, and the life I’m building here, and I know I’m safe when I’m here. It’s not that. But . . .” She shrugged.
“Is this one of those times when you feel like you can’t trust your instincts? Are you afraid you’ll move here and find out it was a mistake?”
“Maybe. When I think about not having the safety of the Cape to go back to and touch base with, I get an anxious feeling rattling in my chest. I know that sounds dumb.”
“No, it doesn’t at all. After years of being alone and scared, you finally found a home and a family with Tank and your friends there. It’s not easy to leave home or the people you love in the most ideal situations. After what you’ve been through, I can see how it would be unsettling and scary.”
She exhaled with relief. “I’m glad you understand, because this is new for me. I’ve never had more than one place where I felt safe. I don’t even know why I’m so worried. When I first met Abby and Dee, every time I got off the ferry back home, I felt this rush of relief, like I had been holding my breath the whole time I was here and I was finally back where I belonged, where I knew I would be okay. But as I got to know my sisters and everyone here, that changed. And now there’s us, and that brings even more changes about how I feel when I go back. But the thought of not touching base at the Cape makes me anxious.”
More changes. He knew she missed him, even if she couldn’t say it. He looked forward to the day when she felt safe enough that those words would come freely.
“Does it have to be all or nothing?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“You said you feel anxious without touching base. I realize that you want to immerse yourself in the mural. I do the same thing with boats. But do you have to go back for two or three days at a time, or do you think it would help to go back for a few hours, touch base, then return so you can work on the mural the next day?”
Her brows knitted. “I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about that.”
“Maybe you should. I can take you to the Cape anytime, and if you want me to hang out with you and your friends, I will. If you’d rather be alone with them, I’ll wait at the marina until you’re ready to go back. And if you don’t want me to take you, that’s okay, too. I’ve got people who work for me at the boat rental and water taxi facility. The water taxi service is open twenty-four-seven. I can always find someone to take you over.”
“That’s definitely something to consider. Thank you.” She wrinkled her nose. “Can you tell I’m not great with change?”
“I think you’re great with it. Your whole life was about change from the moment you left your father’s house until you found Tank. You had a few years of stability, and then you got the letter from Shelley and your life was upended again. And look at how great you’ve handled it.”
“Oh, no I haven’t.” She shook her head. “When I got Shelley’s letter asking me to come to the island to hear the details of my birth mother’s will, I was floored. I’d wondered my whole life about who I was, and then I got here and found out I had sisters, and it really threw me for a loop. I went back to the Cape feeling like I’d fallen into The Twilight Zone. I’d wake up in the middle of the night and look at my tickets from taking the ferry, just to be sure I hadn’t dreamed it up. Those first few visits went by in a blur of excitement and fear. I worried they’d hate me and that Abby was being nice because she thought she had to be, and you know Dee didn’t trust me at first. I didn’t know if I could trust them or anyone here. But the more time I spent with Abby and Aiden, and talking with Dee on the phone after she went back to Boston, the more excited I got about being part of a real family, which brought another dose of fear. And then I met all of their friends, and you, and everyone welcomed me so warmly, it was what I had always wished for. And that scared me because I wasn’t sure I could trust it.”
“But look at you now, babe. You did great with all those changes.”
“Yeah, I guess I did,” she said with a furrowed brow. “Somehow, it all came together. I trusted my sisters, they trusted me, and I knew everything was going to be okay.”
“See? It’s scary, but there’s nothing you can’t handle, and now you’ve got something new and exciting to think about. A couple of weeks ago you mentioned that the Bistro was Abby’s dream, and yours was art. Is this mural a dream come true for you?”