“If our child is going to be like anyone, they’re going to be like their mother.”
“You can’t know that,” I tell him, feeling the blood drain from my face. I never want my children to have my fears, my reactions or outbursts.
“Lily,” he calls, gently cupping my jaw. “I do, and you want know how I know?”
“How?”
“Because you inspire people to be the best they can be. You make me a better man. And when our child is born, they are going to feel their mother’s love and do everything in their power to be just like her. And you’ll teach them. You’ll teach them to be kind, to know what is right and what is wrong. You’ll teach them to love and to love those around them.”
“Jaxon,” I whimper, wishing I could press closer.
“It’s true. And I swear, if we have a daughter who looks just like you, who has your heart, I’m fucked.”
That brings a small smile to my face, even if my heart is fluttering like crazy. “Why?”
“Because it means I’ll have to apologise to your dad and uncles.”
I didn’t expect him to come out with that.
“Why?”
“Because I’ll do anything to protect her, just like they did you,” he rasps, and tears gather in my eyes.
“I love you,” I tell him, leaning up. He leans down, meeting me halfway as his lips press against mine. Flutters erupt in my stomach as he sensually flicks his tongue against mine one last time.
“Love you too, Angel.”
“Love you more,” I tell him, the words filled with emotion.
“Never.”
I shake my head. He doesn’t get it. He never gets it. My gaze locks with his. “When I say I love you more, it doesn’t mean I love you more than you love me. It means, I love you more than anyone else could ever dream of loving someone.” I take a breath as I lean into him. “They aren’t just words to me. It’s not just an emotion to me. I love you with everything that is me. I love you. I love who I am with you. And I’ll love you more tomorrow than I did today. I’ll love you more than I’ll ever be able to express. And it scares me.”
“Lily,” he rasps, running his hand down my chest and over my bump.
I place my hand over his. “I never thought I’d have this. And here we are. Days away from bringing our child into the world. And it scares me. It scares me because I’ll never be able to put into words how much I love you for the life you’ve given me.”
He presses a kiss to my lips, this one harder, filled with more passion as he takes control. He pulls back, his pupils dilated.
“Lily, I’m nearly twenty-six, and yet my life didn’t begin until you took a chance on me. I promise to be the man worthy of your love,” he promises, pressing closer. “But, Lily, you make it sound like I’m the only one giving in this relationship and that’s not true. You’ve failed to bring up the most important thing.”
“I did?” I ask in surprise, trying to think what it could be.
His lips tug up into a small smile. It’s only brief before he goes back to being serious. “You gave me something you’ve never given anyone outside your family. You gave me you. And now you keep giving by carrying our child. And that, Angel, that is everything. You took a chance on me, and now look at where we are; how far we’ve come. I’ll never be able to give you sweet words to describe what that means to me, but I’m hoping that every day I show you what it means. It’s always been you. Always. I love you, Lily.”
Another tear slides down my cheek, dropping onto the pillow beside me. “These are happy tears,” I assure him when he goes to argue. “I promise.”
He presses his lips to my forehead, and I close my eyes, savouring the touch. “Love you, Lily.”
“Love you too, Jaxon.”
“Does this mean we can agree our child will be like you?” he asks, all so serious.
I splutter out a laugh. “How about we agree to give them the very best of both of us?”
He grins. “I can deal with that.”
“Good,” I murmur softly.
“Now, are we going to finish this film?”
My lips tug into a smile as I rest my head against his chest, wrapping my arm around his torso. “Yes, we are.”
He kisses the top of my head before running his fingers along my shoulder. Minutes pass before I feel him relax under me.
His words play in my mind. You gave me you.
Then my uncle Max’s. She had six kids, Lily, and out of us all, you are the best of us.
Maybe I am worthy of love.
With that, and in the safety of Jaxon’s arms, I rest my eyes and listen to the sound of the movie playing, letting it lull me into a deep slumber.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Lily
Birds chirp outside the open window. I look through the curtains blowing from the spring breeze and find a little bluebird sitting on the ledge. He’s staring right at me as I swing back and forth in the rocking chair. Somehow, it feels like the bluebird is there guiding me, protecting me.
I close my eyes as the scent of freshly mowed grass wafts through the open window, and I enjoy the sound of the little bluebird chirping.
A small cry pulls me back to the present, and I glance down to the buddle wrapped in a white fleece blanket in my arms.
I know without a doubt that this is our baby, the one it feels like I’ve been waiting my entire life to meet. With Jaxon’s dark hair and his dark green eyes, our baby is just like their father. And although they have Jaxon’s features, I can still see me in them. I can see the curve of my upper lip and the cute button nose.
Our baby is beautiful.
Love like nothing I’ve ever felt blossoms in my chest.
Our baby is me. Our baby is Jaxon.
Our baby came from love.
Knuckles rap against wood and I glance up, beaming when I see Jaxon standing in the doorway in his work clothes, still dusty from his last job.
“We had our baby?”
“Lily,” he calls out, stepping into the room, but his image flickers out, and then there’s her standing there, glaring at me with that lethal look that could whip the best of them.
“You,” I breathe, staring into the stone-cold eyes of my biological mother.
I try to move, to escape, to get my baby to safety, but I’m glued to the seat and powerless to do anything but watch her approach.
A cruel smirk plays on her lips. “You are going to feel just what it was like for me.”
I lift my child closer to my chest, my entire body trembling. I try to focus on her image, to see her face in full, but it blurs every time I try. I always forget what she looks like as a whole, but never the way her eyes hardened when she looked at me, or the tightness around her lips when she spoke.
“I’m going to be nothing like you.”
“You are all like me.”
“Maverick raised me. He loves me. He is nothing like you. My mother, my real mother, is nothing like you.”
“They are all like me. You have my blood.”
Tears slide down my cheeks, falling and soaking into the baby blanket. “Leave me alone,” I rasp.
She bends down, her cruel eyes on my baby, and I can’t move, frozen to the rocking chair as I watch her cage us in. “You don’t have what it takes to be a mother.”