“Though I hate to say it, that’s probably true.”
It’s a hard blow coming from Aubrey, a former family law attorney. My sister’s a fighter, and if there was a chance I could get custody of Avery, she’d tell me.
“I’m the only one she’s ever really known,” I say, wiping tears from my cheeks. “And she’s my whole world already.”
“I’m so sorry,” she says. “I just don’t get why Mallory wasn’t honest with him. If he’s Avery’s father, he deserved to know.”
“Apparently, he says she never told him for sure, just that she thought she was pregnant.”
“Do you believe him?”
“I guess I do, but he should’ve tried harder to track her down and find out for sure.”
“I know this isn’t what you want to hear,” she says softly, “but she should’ve been more persistent and told him when she knew for sure. If she had, you wouldn’t be in this situation.”
“If she had, Harry would’ve been waiting at Avery’s birth to swoop in with all his money and power and take her from Mal.”
“Probably,” Aubrey concedes. “You’ve been through so much, Winter. You need some time to just be. You haven’t even really gotten to grieve for Mallory.”
“Guess I’ll have time now,” I say, fighting back more tears.
“Do you need me? I can fly there to help you through this so you won’t be alone.”
I smile sadly. “No, but thanks. There’s nothing you can do.”
“I can help with Avery. You sound like you could use some sleep.”
“I appreciate that so much, I really do, but I want to be with her every minute I can since I’m probably going to lose her.”
Avery’s head is tilted in my direction and she gurgles as she waves her arms and legs around on the blanket on the living room floor. I walk over to her, sitting down to stroke her soft, dark hair.
“You’ll be here again someday,” Aubrey says. “You’ll have babies with a man you’re in love with. I know it won’t be exactly the same, but the truth is, Mallory left you in a terrible situation. This stuff with Harry was hers to deal with, not yours.”
“I know, but she was dying.”
Aubrey sighs. “The whole thing just sucks. That had to be so hard for her, knowing she’d never get to see her daughter grow up.”
I burst into tears again while running my index finger over Avery’s smooth, chubby cheek.
“I think I should fly out there,” Aubrey says.
“No.” I say, trying to pull myself together. “I’ll call you if I need to talk, but I’m okay, really.”
I’m anything but okay, but I’d be ashamed if my sister came here and found out I’m on the edge of homelessness.
“Okay, listen,” she says. “I’m going to tell you something I used to tell my clients. Don’t get ahead of yourself. You don’t have those test results yet. Today you have Avery. Focus on that. Take one day at a time. One hour at a time if you have to. You will get through this.”
“Thanks. I know you’re right. It feels good just to hear your voice and not be so alone.”
“You’re never alone. I’m always right here, okay?”
“Yeah. And same.”
Avery’s eyes start drifting closed.
“Hey, Avery’s starting to fall asleep, so I’m going to see if I can sleep for a little bit, too,” I say.
“Good idea. Call me later if you need to, okay?”
“Okay. Thanks, Aubrey.”
“Love you.”
“Love you back.”
We hang up, and I lie down on the couch. As I slip into sleep, I find myself hoping—praying, even—that Mallory was wrong about her daughter’s paternity. That’s the only chance I have left of keeping Avery.
Chapter Five
Harry
Four days later
Tossing a screwdriver onto the couch, I flop down next to it with a deep exhale. After several hours of assembling baby stuff, I could go for a glass of bourbon and a blow job.
Not today, though. Winter’s bringing Avery to my place in a few minutes. We got the results of the paternity test back yesterday afternoon. I’m officially a dad.
It shocked the hell out of me how relieved I was to find out Avery is my daughter. I didn’t think I was ready, but after taking one look at her, I wanted that little girl to be mine.
Do I know what I’m doing? Hell no. But I survived two tours in the Middle East. I was shot at, bombed and ambushed by terrorists and I lived to tell about it. I think I can figure out how to take care of a kid.
I Googled what people usually need for a baby as soon as I got the results, and holy shit, I may be in the wrong business. I placed a same-day delivery order for everything that parents said was either helpful or a must-have, and I spent thousands.
My living room looks like a fucking showroom for baby gear. I bought a rocking bouncy seat, a vibrating bouncy seat, a swing, a travel swing, a playpen, two different play mats, a car seat, a stroller, a bassinet and stacks upon stacks of clothes, diapers, wipes, and other supplies that I’m not quite sure what to do with yet.
I still need to put together her crib, but I figure I’ll do that while she’s sleeping. Babies sleep all the time.
This isn’t how I planned to have a kid. I thought I’d get married someday and have a hell of a good time trying to get my wife pregnant and then taking care of her when she was expecting. But Avery is here now, and she’s mine. With Mallory gone, I have to find a way to be everything she needs.
My mom’s gonna flip her shit. She’s been begging me for a grandchild since I turned thirty. Even though she lives in California, I know she’d be on the first plane to Chicago when I tell her she’s a grandma, but she’s in the middle of a five-month tour of Europe and Asia. Still, it’ll feel good to make that call to her.
I can’t sit for long. I’m too nervous. After I get up from the couch, I walk back to my bedroom and put on a fresh T-shirt, stopping to check my hair in the bathroom mirror.
Avery doesn’t know good hair from bad hair, I suppose, but I still want to make a good first impression.
There’s a soft knock on my door and my pulse kicks up. She’s a couple minutes early, shockingly. I was worried Winter wouldn’t show up at all, even though her attorney told mine she’d be here.
As soon as I open the door, my excitement fades. Winter looks like hell. Her eyes are red and puffy, the dark circles beneath them highlighting her pale complexion. The fiery pistol I met the other day at my lawyer’s office is gone; in her place is a defeated, heartbroken woman.
I didn’t do this to break her. Avery’s my daughter, and she belongs with me. But I can’t help feeling bad for Winter anyway.
“Hey, come on in,” I say, reaching for the car seat carrier.
She holds on for an extra second before releasing the carrier. I close the door behind her and set the carrier down on the floor.
Avery is looking up at me, her eyes bright. I crouch down, swallowing hard against the lump of emotion in my throat. This perfect little girl is my daughter. We just met, and I’d already walk through fire for her.