“How did it end?” She’d known about her father’s epiphany but not how her mother had felt betrayed.
“We were living an illusion because we couldn’t face the reality that we had lost each other and didn’t know how to find each other again. And then one day she decided it had gone on too long. I don’t know why it was that day or why it was so sudden. She came home from work, walked into my studio, and told me it was over and it was time for me to go.”
“I’m so sorry, Dad,” she said softly. “I can’t imagine how that would have felt.”
He was silent for a long moment, staring down at his empty hands. “I only wish we could have given you and Hari some warning, let you get used to the idea, but I was in shock. I couldn’t think. I loved your mother. She is a strong, intelligent, beautiful woman who used to sing like an angel and give Mehar a run for her money on the dance floor. But she lost herself in work and forgot what is important in life. If I could turn back time, I would still choose to marry her.” His expression was almost wistful. “We had some good times together.”
“But you would lose her again,” Zara protested. “You would get hurt again.”
“But I would have experienced love,” he said. “And love is worth the pain.”
• 26 •
Jay was dreaming of being lost in the forest when someone shook him awake.
“How long have you been sleeping in the office?” Elias pulled the blinds, flooding the office with light.
“A couple of days.” He sat up on the couch, rubbed his eyes. Truth was, he was afraid to fall asleep in his apartment without Zara there to keep the nightmares away. He’d come to the office on Saturday after visiting his mom and worked until he was so exhausted, he couldn’t keep his eyes open. Rinse. Repeat.
“How’s your mom?”
“Improving. She should be going home in a week or so. How are things going with Westwood Morgan?”
“Everything is in order.” Elias pulled the last blind. “The board is meeting this week. Brittany says at this stage it’s basically a rubber stamp of approval. She’s looking forward to traveling around the world with you, opening up all those new offices. Kinda wish our board had picked me to be the CEO instead of the CFO. I used to hate the travel when I was deployed, but now that I’ve had my feet on the ground for so long, I kinda miss it.”
“I’m sure we can work something out,” Jay said. “If my mom isn’t fully recovered when we start the international openings, I’ll need to be here. No way I’m leaving her alone with Rick.”
“You look like shit, by the way.” Elias never pulled his punches.
“I’ll hit the showers in the downstairs gym and change before the rest of the staff arrive. I’ve got extra suits in the closet.”
Elias leaned against the credenza, thick arms folded, his words heavily weighted. “That’s not what I mean.”
Jay got the message. Elias had encouraged him to seek treatment before, but he hadn’t had time for illness—mental or physical—when he had a company to build. He’d managed the nightmares like he managed everything else. With tight control, strict rules, and willpower. But this time it wasn’t just about him. This time he had a reason to get well.
Jay dropped his head to his hands, elbows resting on his thighs. “I almost lost my mom. Again. Kinda threw me for a loop.”
Not an easy admission, but then he’d made an even bigger admission to Zara. Anything else paled in comparison. He hadn’t meant to tell her he loved her. Hell, he hadn’t even realized it himself until he’d said it out loud. But he’d had a few days to think about it, and he acknowledged the truth of the words. She was the light in his life, the sun to his shadows. She was smart, warm, loyal, sexy, and funny and it was impossible to resist her sweet exuberance. Life was interesting and exciting when she was around. She made his heart pound just being near her, and he was damn sure he made her heart pound, too. But he needed to sort out his shit. He wanted to be the best man he could be. For her. For his mom. For Elias. And for himself.
“I’ve been there,” Elias said. “Sand used to do it for me. We were in the desert when I was shot. After I came home, I couldn’t go to the beach. I’d start shaking and break out in a sweat. It didn’t make sense. There was no danger. It was all kids and beach umbrellas and ice cream and hot dogs. But that’s the thing about PTSD. You don’t know when you’re going to hit a trigger. And when you do, you need the tools to work your way through it.”
“You were seeing a guy . . .” Jay drew in a ragged breath. Admitting he needed help wasn’t as easy as he thought.
“Dave Richards. He’s a psychologist at the VA clinic. He really helped me out. I’ll give you his number.” Elias grinned. “Tell him I went to the beach the other day and stayed there so long I got a fucking tan.”
* * *
• • •
Janice was playing Candy Crush when Zara walked into the office. She’d clearly just come in from a smoke and her clothes reeked of tobacco. “You’ve got a new-client meeting this afternoon. I’ve put it in your schedule. He says he’s an actor.” All this without lifting her head. But today, Zara didn’t care.
“A celebrity client? Are you serious?”
“I said he’s an actor.” Her three-pack-a-day habit had given her voice a gravelly rasp that wasn’t out of place in a firm with a tiger for a mascot. “I didn’t say he’s a celebrity. At least he wasn’t until he got caught snorting coke off some skanky bitch’s ass at a party. I looked him up online after he called. If that’s the kind of law you’re planning to practice, I’m going to have a word with Tony. I won’t work in that kind of environment. I have standards.”
“We just filmed a commercial where we’re all roaring in a jungle of cartoon tigers,” Zara pointed out. “Right now, Tony is contemplating whether we should wear tiger suits for the next one. Finances are so tight Faroz just chased an ambulance all the way to the hospital. The bar can’t get much lower.”
Janice gave an indignant huff. “Yeah, well, I won’t be asking for his autograph.”
“What’s his name?”
“Bob Smith.”
* * *
• • •
“I never thought I’d be pulling out your card so soon after we met.” Bob settled in the seat across from Zara. He looked like he hadn’t slept for days. Lines of strain were etched into his brow, and his jaw was rough and unshaven. Dark circles under his eyes made them seem more prominent, and his skin was pale and blotchy. He wore a baseball cap and a puffy jacket, even though it was seventy-five degrees outside.