“No.” I twist out of his grip. “I want to see her. She’s my mother. Don’t you get that? She’s the only family I have.”
“Katyusha,” he says in a gentler tone, reaching for me again. “Don’t upset yourself so much, my love.”
I backtrack to the door. “She’s sick. She fainted. She fell, for crying out loud. I’m not going to sit here like a pampered princess while my mom needs me.”
The blue of his eyes hardens like glittering gemstones. “You’ll stay here or wherever I decide to keep you safe, and you’ll do as I say. That’s the only choice you have in this equation, kiska.”
The harsh words are like a blow to my head. We’ve been doing so great, getting along so well, pretending that everything is normal. Yet it’s not. And I can’t do anything about it.
Spinning around, I run for the door. To my relief, he doesn’t follow. He grants me the reprieve of solitude as I lock myself in the library and come to terms with the truth. Over and over, I come to terms with it. This is no honeymoon. No matter how great or adventurous the sex, no matter how well he treats me, there are limits to this arrangement, and only one person makes the rules.
Alex. He holds all the power.
Now that I’m slightly calmer, however, I have to admit he’s right about the hour. I’m not going to call my mom at five a.m. and wake her if she’s sleeping. I don’t have a choice but to wait until it’s later in the morning in the States, at least nine or so.
A knock comes from the door.
“Katyusha?” Alex calls. “Come have lunch. You have to eat.”
I have a good mind to throw a vase at the door, but he’s right again. Starving myself isn’t going to change anything.
Taking a few deep breaths, I get my emotions under control before unlocking the door. He stands on the threshold like a king, regal and imposing, his large frame dominating the space.
“I want to see her, Alex,” I say quietly. “I want to examine her for myself.”
“That’s her doctors’ job and what I’m paying them for,” he says in an uncompromising tone. “This discussion is over.” He holds out a hand. “Now come dress and have lunch with me.”
He’s not giving me a choice. Nothing has changed since we arrived in St. Petersburg. Maybe it will never change.
I don’t accept his proffered hand. Gritting my teeth, I go upstairs, change, and join him for lunch in the dining room.
Our meal progresses in silence. He tries to draw me into a conversation a couple of times, asking about the dress rehearsal and if I like the ball gown, but when he remains unsuccessful at getting a response, he eventually falls quiet.
He does wait with me in his study until the clock strikes four p.m. He works while I pace the floor. The minute the grandfather clock announces the hour, he connects his laptop and activates a video call.
When my mom’s face comes onto the screen, I collapse onto the sofa in relief at how well she looks. Her cheeks have a healthy glow, and her blond hair is prettily styled. She’s wearing her favorite blue sweater and a lighter blue silk scarf that brings out the color of her eyes. Judging by the painting behind her on the wall, she’s sitting in the lounge.
“Mom, hi.” I swallow to contain my emotions. “How are you?”
“Katie,” she says with a broad smile. “Alex. How good to see you.”
I glance up to find Alex behind me, leaning with his arms on the backrest of the sofa.
“So,” my mom says. “How are you two doing?”
I wave a hand. “Never mind us. Are you all right? I had such a fright. What happened?”
She utters an embarrassed laugh. “I didn’t want to worry you. It’s nothing. I told the doctor he shouldn’t even have called you.”
“Of course he had to,” I exclaim.
“I got up to pee at night and tripped over the dresser, that’s all.”
Narrowing my eyes, I study her face. She looks thinner, some of the roundness of her cheeks gone. “They said it was a dizzy spell. Are you eating enough?”
“The dietician is excellent.” My mom adjusts her scarf. “I’m eating more than enough, and the food is delicious. The doctor already ran a few blood tests, and everything looks fine.”
“Okay,” I say slowly, unable to shake my concern.
“These things happen,” my mom says. “I’d taken a hot bath earlier in the evening, and I might’ve undereaten a bit at dinner. It’s possible my blood pressure might’ve been a bit low. In any event, they’re monitoring me like a baby, so you can enjoy your vacation without any worries.” She gives me a bright smile. “Speaking of your vacation, how is it going?”
“Great,” Alex says. “Although, we haven’t gotten around to as much sightseeing as we’d like.”
My mom winks. “I understand. You’re not getting out of the bedroom a lot, are you?”
“Mom!”
“I still have plenty to show Katerina,” Alex says, not missing a beat at my mom’s remark. “I want her to get to know my home country.”
“Understandably.” Mom checks her watch. “I’m afraid I have to go. I have a checkup with the doctor in five minutes.”
“Let me know how it goes,” I say. “And please take care of yourself.”
“I will.” She blows us a kiss. “Thank you for checking on me. Speak to you later, kids.”
At kids, Alex chuckles. She’s my parent, but she’s only seven years older than Alex.
When the screen goes black, he leans over me to close the laptop.
“Thanks,” I say, rubbing my palms over my thighs. “You didn’t have to be here for this.” He could’ve gone back to the office to work in peace.
“It was the least I could do,” he says, squeezing my shoulder. “Now I’m going to get some more work done, and then we’ll grab dinner.”
My mom texts Alex after her checkup and cheerfully informs us that she’s as healthy as a horse. Still, I worry about it all through dinner, and then I can’t fall asleep at night. Alex does his best to wear me out with mind-blowing pleasure, but for once, even that doesn’t help. So after I toss and turn for two hours straight, I get up. To my surprise and over my protests, he gets up too, and then he stays up with me, quietly working on his computer next to me while I watch some Downton Abbey in an effort to take my mind off things.
By three a.m., I’m completely exhausted, but my mind is still churning. To calm myself, I ask Alex to text my mom again, to check if she’s had any other spells and he does. Mom replies right away, assuring me that she’s perfectly fine and has had a great day.
Alex watches me with compassion. “Now that you’ve seen for yourself that there’s nothing to worry about, let’s get some sleep.”
There won’t be much sleep for him. He’s up every morning at six to work out until seven before leaving for the office at seven-thirty. Sometimes, he exercises in the gym, and at other times, he spars with his men in the barracks. My stomach is always tied in knots when he’s training with them, knowing how quickly an accident with a blade can happen.