I push my seat back and stand.
Lucas leans down and whispers in my ear, “Want to get out of here?”
I shake my head and move away from all of them.
Dinner was nice.
Until it wasn’t.
“See? She runs. She doesn’t want anything to do with you.” I hear Paige huff before she screams, “Yet, here I am, showing you I’m willing to give you everything.”
“Remove your hand, Paige.” I hear Keir say before their voices become distant as I make my way to Wren’s room.
A baby. I wonder if he even planned to tell me that little snippet of information, or did he think he could just keep it from me? He had to have known I didn’t know. Of course, I knew about the ring as she has made that incredibly obvious. But I wonder why she never mentioned that she’s pregnant.
As soon as I get to the room, I see my baby girl asleep. I’m lucky she sleeps the full night now. There were times when she woke me up every two hours, and it was pure unadulterated hell. Not having anyone to help me when I was so tired I couldn’t lift a finger to do anything but care for Wren. There were times when I thought I was going out of my mind. Times when I considered calling Keir, telling him what an asshole he was. But this was my choice, and I wanted to make sure I was in the right headspace when he eventually found out.
I hear who I assume is Keir’s footsteps coming down the hall. Somehow I just know it’s him. I shut the door behind me and flip the lock. Leaning back against it, I slide to the floor.
“Sailor.” His voice isn’t hostile, it’s soft, and Keir is never soft.
“Fuck you, Keir. Fuck. You! I tried doing this. I did. I wouldn’t have cared about her, but you keep on showing me that you care more for her than me.” Paige huffs out something unintelligible as I check the crib and see Wren, thankfully, is still sleeping. Even though tonight has been a shitshow of them yelling for some reason this gorgeous girl sleeps through it. “How could you, after everything?” Paige’s voice is even louder now.
I push up from the floor and open the door, and both sets of eyes fall to me.
“You!” Paige lunges toward me, looking completely unhinged, but Keir captures her with his arm and pushes her back.
“Don’t,” Keir warns her.
“My child is sleeping in here, take this shit elsewhere,” I say to them.
“How does it feel?” Paige asks, standing tall, her head dropping to the side.
“Not sure what you’re talking about.”
“To have my sloppy seconds.” She smiles in a way that turns my stomach and looks to Keir. “You disgust me!” I can’t help the laugh that bubbles up from inside me. “Stop laughing, you whore!” she screams. “You ruined our relationship. You ruined us.”
“I did no such thing. The two of you did that all by yourselves. If anything, you fucked-up people have ruined my normal life and I am sick of it.”
“I did kidnap you and kill your husband,” Keir comments. His eyes are dark and serious as he stares at me. “And I would do it all again.”
“Arrrggghhh.” Paige throws her hands up in the air and storms off.
Keir doesn’t follow her, instead he turns his full attention to me. “Stay with me tonight.” My mouth falls open in shock at his words, at the gall of this man.
“Are you serious right now?” I bark at him as I point to where Paige just left. “Go after your other baby mamma and your fiancée.”
“I don’t remember fucking her. Her hands were on me and I thought it was you.” I shake my head because that makes no sense. “She got to me at the right time.”
“Why are you playing the victim? It doesn’t look good on you.”
He scrubs his hand through his hair. “I’m not. I’m telling you that I fucked her once, and I don’t even remember it. I haven’t wanted or touched another woman since you.”
“Except your damn fiancée,” I spit back, then cross my arms over my chest. “I have. I have fucked, sucked, and had pleasure while I was not with you.”
His brows pinch together, mouth pressing into a hard line. “You’re lying.”
“How would you know?”
“Because…” he steps forward and his finger lifts my chin until I have no choice but to look him square in the eye, “… these big, beautiful eyes only see me.” He leans in, and without stopping him, he kisses my cheek before he walks off.
“She left.” I overhear Joey say to Keir as I enter the room. Keir is dressed in his usual attire, his trousers neatly pressed, no jacket on today, and his blue shirt rolled up at the sleeves.
“What do you mean?” Keir asks, half-listening as he looks down at something on his cell phone. I glance down at what I’m wearing. It’s warmer, so I have on a long maxi dress that has a split up one leg, and my hair is tied up in a high ponytail.
“I mean… no one has seen her since last night. And Lucas said he saw a cab leaving as he was getting into his car.”
Keir looks up from his cell, and when he does, his eyes find mine from across the room. “We can talk later,” he says to Joey, who looks my way before he turns and leaves. “How about we go down to the beach today?” he asks. “We usually spend the day down there. The cook prepares some food, and we drink and swim.”
“Sounds good,” I answer, walking over to him.
“I missed you last night.” His body is close to mine but not quite touching.
“How is your fiancée?” I ask with a nasty tone, then bite my bottom lip, realizing I shouldn’t be like this.
“Gone.” His eyes roam me, making me feel exposed.
“Shouldn’t you be chasing her?” He should be and not looking at me the way he is.
“I’d rather chase you.” A devilish smirk touches his lips.
“I’m not going to sleep with you while another woman wears your ring on her finger,” I scoff out loudly. He has to know it’s not healthy nor decent.
“It’s not my ring. Joey purchased it and gave it to her. I never even asked her to marry me. It was just…” he shrugs his shoulders, “… arranged.”
He didn’t even ask her to marry him?
Does he not see how fucked up this whole situation is?
Their whole relationship is not normal.
Normal people don’t do this stuff. But I’ve realized he’s far from normal. He is so used to taking and getting everything he wants, that when I won’t give him anything, he just keeps on coming back, expecting more and more. I don’t know if I have any more to give him, though. I gave him so much to begin with, much more than he deserved. More than anyone deserved.
I mean, he killed my fucking husband. Yes, I know we were over, but I still spent years with that man, and an old part of me loved him. But I think the new part of me loves this dark and dangerous man standing right in front of me. And it’s this love that terrifies me the most because he’s not used to giving, and I’m so used to taking.
I want someone to give love to me because I am worth it.
I am fucking worth it.
“I’d never let that be us,” I say. “I am not her. You realize that, right? You can’t just choose when you can have or not have me. You’ve done that already. For months at a time.”