“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I just found out yesterday and the fire was last night.”
“You’ve been sleeping at the arena again,” she said softly. “That’s why you needed to come here last night. You couldn’t stay there after a fire and it’s too cold to sleep in your car. Oh, Noelle.”
I sighed. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“I thought things were fine with Jasmine?”
Jasmine was my old roommate.
“They were. Until she moved her boyfriend in and kicked me out. I didn’t have enough money saved for a security deposit and first month’s rent on a new place, so I went back to sleeping in my car or on the floor in the storeroom at the arena last summer.”
“Last summer?” Connie stared at me. “And you couldn’t come to me?”
“You live in a one-bedroom apartment with two kids! What are you going to do with me beyond the occasional night on the couch? It’s okay, Con. I’m fine. It’s just a little stressful sometimes.”
“Leave Garland Grove and move to Vancouver,” she said. “That’s what we’re going to do if Craig can’t find something solid soon.”
“If I can’t afford a place here in Garland Grove, how am I going to afford anything in a big city like Vancouver?”
“Maybe we could get a place together, a three-bedroom, and if you pay a third of the rent and utilities, we can all afford it. What do you think?”
“I think a three-bedroom apartment in Vancouver is a pipe dream.” I nibbled on a piece of toast I’d just buttered. “Not to mention, Craig doesn’t like me.”
“You don’t like him either, and he knows it. It’s hard on a man’s pride when his fiancée’s best friend calls him a loser.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I guess that’s the pot calling the kettle black, eh?”
She shook her head. “You’re both so hard on yourselves. You’ve had some horrible luck since university and so has Craig. The accident at the factory wasn’t his fault but he couldn’t work for months, until his leg healed. And then he couldn’t pass his physical in time for the opening at the tinsel factory so now he’s been taking temp work. At least he’s trying. He’s out there hustling every day. Are you?”
I bristled. “I work sixty hours a week, at least ten of which is unpaid because stuff has to get done whether they pay me or not! I’m at work seven days a week.”
“That’s not hustling. That’s surviving. If you were hustling, you’d be looking for something better. Then you could get back on your feet a lot faster.” Connie put the baby in her bouncy seat and walked over to me. “I love you. You know that. But you can’t expect things to get better if you don’t make some changes. You know what they say about expecting a different outcome when you keep doing the same thing.”
“I’m not insane,” I said, scowling at her.
“But you’ve given up. Instead of fighting to get ahead, you’ve resigned yourself to your fate. And you’re better than that.”
I got up and walked over to the sink, rinsing out my coffee mug, trying to think about how to answer since I knew Connie wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt my feelings. “I haven’t given up. I’m going to make a thousand dollars coaching the five-year-old hockey camp the week between Christmas and New Year’s, which will help get me into a new apartment. I’ve also applied to work in the cafeteria at the high school and they said it probably won’t happen this year, but one of the women there is retiring at the end of the school year, so next fall I should be all set.”
Good jobs in Garland Grove were scarce and affordable housing was expensive, but I would be able to get a small apartment somewhere by midsummer. I had a plan, a budget, and was saving every penny I could, so there was a light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully, it wouldn’t turn out to be another train.
Chapter Three
Remy
* * *
The fire hadn’t been too bad, and the only thing that wasn’t fixable or cleanable was the Zamboni, but while insurance would cover it, we wouldn’t be able to use either of the rinks until it was replaced. The new one I’d ordered, which was arriving today, would get them running again but I wasn’t sure what to do next. The whole reason I’d come here was to see what kind of shape the arena was in so I could sell it. The fire was an unexpected issue and I couldn’t just hire a realtor and get rid of it. Well, I could, but somehow it didn’t feel quite so black and white now that I was here.
I’d also been annoyed to see that there was no management team in place and no one that was truly in charge. I had wonderful memories of the outdoor rink as a child, but now everything about the place seemed old and outdated. And while it didn’t have to be my problem, it kind of was. Not just because I technically owned it now, but because being back in Garland Grove suddenly brought back so many memories. Memories of a time when my parents had been happy, when my life had been innocent and carefree. Before heart defects and stressful careers and affairs. My father had the affairs, not me, but they had impacted me in more ways than one. Hell, Kingston and I were both extremely gun-shy when it came to relationships because of our father’s infidelities.
It was less so for Ashton since he was still so young and didn’t remember a time when our parents had been happy together. Kingston and I did, though, so when news of our father’s affairs had come out, it had made us both reluctant about serious relationships. Kingston was the lead singer of one of the biggest rock bands in the world right now, touring the globe, sleeping with everything that moved, and living his best life, so I didn’t blame him for wanting to be single. Especially since he was just shy of twenty-eight.
It was a little different for me. At thirty-five, most of my friends were settled and had a house full of kids. I’d had neither the time nor the inclination for that with all my different business ventures, and frankly, most of the women I met were interested in my bank accounts, not me. I also had no intention of being like my father, where I kept a wife and family at home while I traveled the world having fun and enjoying everything life had to offer without them. So I kept my eye on the ball, letting business take precedence over everything else, with the exception of my mother and brothers.
Being back in Garland Grove made me a little wistful, though. I remembered watching my parents skate around that outdoor rink, laughing and kissing, as if there was no place else they wanted to be. Mom said everything changed when I left to go play in the juniors and Dad started traveling for weeks at a time. She was home alone with Kingston and started to resent her husband for leaving her so much. The more she resented him, the less often he came home, until there wasn’t anything left between them. Not even after Ashton was born.
Thinking about my own lifestyle, I was determined not to repeat those mistakes. I did want to be a dad someday, though, so that made everything complicated. There wasn’t anyone special in my life and with how busy I was in general, there probably wouldn’t be. I shouldn’t have even come to Garland Grove. Fiona had been sending me reminder after reminder of things I had to do, yet here I was about to tour an arena I didn’t even want.