Or you wanted him to kiss you.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and told myself I just needed a minute. If I could get over whatever the hell had just happened, I would be fine.
But I didn’t feel fine. I felt like I was tumbling down into an abyss I wasn’t ready for. And that was enough of that. I didn’t have time to wallow or worry about my feelings or what the hell had just happened. I didn’t have time to remember the taste of Breck’s lips. Or the sounds that he made, or his rock-hard body pressed against mine. Because that was never going to happen again. It had just been a foolish mistake, and I didn’t need to focus on him.
I needed to focus on my job, the men that reported to me, and keeping them safe. Then I needed to worry about my assignments and make sure when Kannon came back, it was as if he hadn’t been gone at all.
That was my job, not worrying about Prince Breck and that stupid mouth of his. I had ninety-nine problems, and the prince wasn’t one of them.
My phone buzzed, and I looked down at it, expecting it to be Niko asking me where I was. It was my best friend Onyx. We had a standing Sunday date, and since she had recently moved to the UK and was settling in with my adorable godson, we usually kept to our timetable. Frowning, I quickly answered. “Onyx? Are you okay?” I asked, my heart rate ticking up as I anticipated a problem. I was well aware of why she had to move to London, so I prayed nothing was wrong.
Or maybe you’re on edge.
Okay, fine. I was a little on edge. I’d just go ahead and chalk that up to stress. And it had nothing to do with Breck.
Liar.
“I’m fine. No need to sound so worried. You missed our call last week, so I figured I’d call to see how you were settling into Princesslandia. A far cry from our stomping grounds in Silver Spring.”
I let out a breath and relaxed, leaning against the wall. Onyx and I had grown up together in the DC Beltway. Our inauspicious meeting had taken place in AP physics when she’d turned around to ask me if I had any clue what was happening on the chalkboard.
“You have any idea what he’s talking about?”
“No clue. I’m screwed.”
“Me too. I’m Onyx by the way.”
We’d been tight ever since. She’d emotionally patched me up after my disastrous affair with my supervisor... The one who had neglected to mention he already had a fiancée when he took me ring shopping. And I’d been the one to help her forcibly extricate from her ex-husband. Kannon and the whole team had helped with that one. He was the reason she was now in London.
“A very long way. For both of us. How is London treating you?”
“Good. Eli is adjusting to nursery school, and work is going well, but tell me about you. Last time I monopolized the conversation as I bemoaned these tiny European refrigerators. Has the new office opened yet? Were you able to escape to see your parents in Mauritius before you had to play big badass boss lady?”
I laughed at that. “I hardly feel like a boss lady. Mostly I’m trying not to shit the bed. There’s a lot riding on this, and I need to get it right.”
“Always so hard on yourself. Where is my ass kicker of a bestie?”
“She’s right here and always harder on herself than anyone else would be. Failing isn’t an option I allow myself.” I sighed, trying to stay positive. “It’s fine. It’s going to be great. And as for Mauritius, everything happened so quickly. So I’ll need to wait until Jasmine’s wedding.”
My little sister was tying the knot, and my mother was in full-on mother-of-the-bride mode. Jasmine though, true to her sweet nature, was the least bridezilla of brides ever.
And her fiancé was lovely… Not that I’d run a background check on him.
Kannon had.
“You’re so busy these days. I was worried something was up. You okay?”
There was a pause, and I was afraid I had said too much, but then Onyx cleared her throat. “Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to see how you were doing. I saw the photos that you sent.”
“Did you show Eli?” I asked, speaking of my godson. He hadn’t wanted to move to London when Onyx had gotten her job offer. Luckily, it had been a great transition for him once he’d discovered he was good at soccer, or football as his friends called it.
I could hear the smile in her voice as she answered. “I did. For some reason, he was waiting for you to send a picture of you in a little tiara or maybe a pretty floofy dress.”
I snorted and then just let myself laugh out loud. “Really? He knows I’m going to be the person in a suit protecting that princess, not the actual princess herself, right?”
Though I’d had my mouth on a prince just a few moments ago, but I wasn’t going to think about that. Nor was I going to tell my best friend. I loved Onyx, but I wasn’t one for going through all of my emotions with anybody, let alone over a phone where anyone could overhear me. Besides, I needed to process first. Once I had processed exactly what I was feeling, then…
No, nobody needed to know what I had just done with Breck. I needed to just forget it because it would not be happening again.
“I don’t know. You can probably protect somebody in a dress. You’d be good at it. I can see you with one of those thigh-high slits and a garter holster.”
“I had to wear high heels and a dress with a slit up to my thigh once so I could fit in. It sucked.”
“I bet you looked hot though,” she said.
“Of course, I did. But the guys got to wear tuxes, and I didn’t. And when I threatened all of them if they dared to look at an inch of my skin, they were quick not to comment.”
“You know they don’t make fun of you unless it’s the normal razzing that they all give each other.”
“True, I’m very grateful that they’re not all legitimate macho men. Just slightly macho men.”
“You’re just as macho. It’s that whole protective instinct. You get all growly, and I bet you the ladies swoon too.”
“Maybe,” I said on a laugh.
“It’s good to hear your voice, babes.” There was something in Onyx’s voice that worried me.
“It’s good to hear your voice too. I miss you. I hate that I don’t see you as much anymore. But enough about me, how are you?”
She sighed. “Well, it was bound to happen. You’re over there taking over the world. I love Kannon, and I’m really glad that he’s happy and married. I did resent him a little for taking you away from me when you started working for him, but you’ve had some adventure too.”
I cringed, knowing that it was true, even though I hated it. “I wasn’t always traveling around the world.”
“No, sometimes you were in New York, or Michigan. Yes, that was a weird trip with you in Michigan.”
“There’s nothing wrong with Michigan,” I laughed.
“No, there isn’t. But I do miss when you were able to visit more. And Eli does too. Come to London. We’ll do Jack the Ripper tours and eat too many scones.”
“Just twist the knife a little harder,” I complained.
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to. I called to see how you were doing, not have a little pity party of my own.”
“You know, you’re always welcome to visit here. I’d love to see the two of you.”