“That’s just what I expected you to—” She broke off, her hand frozen mid-gesticulation. “You…what?”
In the dim light through the carriage windows, her skin was luminous. And her mussed hair and gown gave her the look of a woman who’d been freshly bedded. Val had always thought her alluring, with her lush mouth and dark hair and eyes, but in the years since he’d first met her, she’d gained a confidence that made her almost irresistible. A confidence that urged him again and again to share how he, too, had changed—because of her. But just below the surface, he saw a vulnerability—from a hurt he’d caused?—that likewise tempted him to wrap her in his arms and tell her everything would be well.
It took every ounce of his will to stop himself. They’d avoided difficult conversations in the past and their relationship had fallen apart. This time, however their match had come about, he was determined the betrothal would end not just in a marriage, but a happy one.
“It doesn’t matter how innocent we are of indiscretion,” he said. “Honor demands that I offer you the protection of my name. I should have realized as soon as I rescued you from Harrison how it would look when we left the greenroom. If I’d been thinking, I’d have spoken to you before we even stepped out into the lobby.”
If he thought Caro would thank him for riding to her rescue, he was to be sorely mistaken.
“I might have known you’d find a way to twist yourself into a knot like a Covent Garden contortionist to do the honorable thing,” she said with disgust. “There’s no need to sacrifice yourself, Val. I’ll find a way out of this that will leave you free to marry some meek little thing who will hang on your every word.”
Given how many times she’d thrown his noble actions back at him today, Val should have known by now that she had no interest in his protection unless she asked for it. But though he might have changed since their first betrothal, some parts of his personality simply remained essential.
Still, her words surprised a laugh out of him. “You truly must think me a self-important ass.”
“I think you are a man.” Caro shrugged. “So, perhaps?”
“I’m not perfect, Caro,” he said, his composure slipping in the face of her scorn. How could he show her that in this instance, his inclination and duty aligned? “I may be as fond of my own opinions as the next man, but I have no wish for a wife who does nothing but parrot my own ideas back to me.”
Her lush mouth was set defiantly, but the glimmer of interest in her eyes gave him hope. Perhaps his cause was not so lost as he’d feared.
“That is the sort of wife your father wants for you.” The undisguised hurt in her voice cut him to the bone. “Or at the least, he wants someone other than me. I could see how displeased he was with our announcement, though he was well-behaved enough to disguise it.”
Val had never wanted more to strike his own father. But the duke was not the true problem here. His own failures in the past were what kept Caro from trusting him now.
“My father’s wishes don’t come into it.” He took her hand in his. “I won’t let him dictate my behavior.”
“No,” she said bitterly, pulling her hand away. “You will simply let him denigrate your choices without argument while pretending to be your own man.”
Her words hung in the air like smoke from a fire that had long ago destroyed all in its path.
“We’ve never really discussed how I failed you four years ago,” he said softly, the hurt in her eyes making him ache with remorse. “I think it’s time, don’t you?”
He was committed to saying what clearly needed saying, but dear Lord in heaven, would this be dashed uncomfortable. For them both.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Caro turned to gaze sightlessly out the window. “I think you should take me home now.”
Val stared at her. “I’d never have taken the fearless Caroline Hardcastle for a coward.”
Glaring at him, she said hotly, “Perhaps I simply have no wish to discuss a relationship that ended long ago, Val. We should leave all that in the past. I’ve moved on. You should, too. Indeed, we need never see one another again once we end this fictional betrothal.”
But he wasn’t going to let her hide from him—from them—without a fight.
“Moved on?” he asked with a bark of laughter. “You can barely stand to be in the same room with me without stripping the flesh from my bones.”
“I had no idea you were so sensitive, Lord Wrackham,” she said coldly. “I shall endeavor to be gentler with your aristocratic feelings in future.”
“I hurt you that night,” he said, ignoring her defensive posture. “By not defending you when my brother insulted you. But we both know that if you’d been surer of me, you wouldn’t have been so ready to break things off. Indeed, I think I gave you reason to doubt my loyalty to you long before you heard my brother’s hateful words.”
Her eyes welled with tears.
Wordlessly, he handed her his handkerchief.
“What’s this for?” she demanded. “I’m not crying.”
But just then she gave a little sob and raised the cloth to her eyes. Val could have no more stayed on his side of the carriage than flown to the moon.
Moving to sit beside her, he said softly, “Let me hold you, Caro. Please.”
She turned and wrapped her arms around him, burrowing her head beneath his chin.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmured as she wept against him. “I’d always known my view of the world was different from my father and brother’s, but I managed to get along with them by letting their remarks pass without engagement. When Piers spoke about you and your family, I was stunned. I hadn’t even had a chance to speak to your father. I was torn between ripping into him and keeping the betrothal secret like we’d agreed.”
He took her by the shoulders and dipped his head to look her in the eyes. “And truthfully, it shouldn’t have mattered whether he was speaking of my betrothed or a stranger in the street. I had my own convictions but not the courage to fight for them. I made the wrong decision, Caro. I knew it as soon as I saw your face when you came to dissolve our understanding.”
“I thought you were different from them.” Caro’s voice was hoarse from tears. “But you were just the same sort of disdainful aristocrat we’d laughed at together. How could I possibly have gone through with marrying you? Your brother would have made my life as part of your family a misery. Not to mention what your father would have said.”
His chest squeezed at the realization that she’d very likely been correct. He’d loved his brother, but he knew all too well how pompous he could be. Though Val liked to think he would have done his best to shield Caro from the worst of his family, he also knew that at the time he’d lacked the maturity necessary to do a proper job of it. Caro had been right not to trust him entirely.
“Is it fear of my father that makes you reluctant to go through with our betrothal now?” He thought back to his conversation with the duke earlier that evening, before bedlam had descended upon them all. Caro hadn’t been wrong when she’d found his warm welcome suspect. Val had been mistrustful of it himself. “Because I can assure you that however I might have failed to do so in the past, this marriage is my choice and I expect him to treat you with the respect you deserve as my wife.”