Something happened, but he’s not saying what, and I’m not sure I want to have that conversation now…or ever.
“Please.” His eyes soften, and although part of me is angry with him, a bigger part of me understands what it’s like to be rejected by someone that you love.
“Yeah, Dad.” I hold my bag in one hand and my cell phone in the other, making it clear I’m not hanging around.
“I just wanted to tell you that you did amazing in the water today.” He lets out a breath like he’s been holding it the entire race. “I’m really proud of you. I don’t know if I’ve said that enough between showing you off and bragging about how dedicated you are, but I truly believe it. You’re incredible, and no matter what happens after graduation, you will always be my amazing little boy.”
There’s a lump in my throat that I can’t swallow around. My chest tightens like when Celeste told me she loved me. Instead of trying to speak, I nod and duck my chin.
“I didn’t do everything right, and I pushed too hard. Now I’m afraid I’ve pushed you away.”
“No,” I’m quick to say as my shoulders deflate. “Dad, I—”
“I know, you need to go. It’s fine, we can talk later.” He smiles softly and squeezes my shoulder. “Have fun tonight, Lo.”
Before I can say anything else, he’s gone. There’s a muscle in my shoulder where he touched me that relaxes, and I wonder how long it’s been tense. Maybe since the other night, maybe for the past four years. Who knows?
I don’t remember a time in my life when my father has admitted fault. Maybe he did push me too hard when I was young, like Principal Nolan said, but it did make me who I am. I’m not someone who gives up, and I won’t stop until I win. Slowly and steadily, I’ll get what I want.
Glancing down at my phone, I see I have a text from the twins. I smile as I tuck my phone in my pocket and go straight to my car.
Looks like I’m going to a party tonight.
When I turn down the long driveway to the lake house, I see someone has turned on the lights that lead the way. Out here, it’s really private, and nobody calls the cops. Jackson’s parents flipped out about the party he threw at his house last time, so naturally he decided to do it again at the lake house.
Pulling up, I see the place is packed, but there’s a spot near the exit. I turn in and take it because I like knowing I can get out easily if I need to.
“Look who it is,” I hear as I walk onto the porch.
Glancing over to the right, I see Amber walking toward me. Out front it’s quiet, and I look down to see she must have come out here to smoke whatever’s in her hand. Behind her, I see a couple of people talking and doing the same. When I don’t acknowledge her and go to walk inside, she moves in front of me.
“What’s your problem, Crew?” She scowls as she looks me up and down. “You think you’re too good for the girls at Craven Cove?”
“No, now get out of my way,” I say, and when I move again, she moves with me.
“That’s right, you like dumpster diving with the local trash.”
“What the fuck did you say?”
“Nothing.” She smiles sweetly as she brings the thing she’s smoking up to her lips and inhales. “Just be careful, Crew. You wouldn’t want to get anything on you that you can’t wash off.”
“You’re one to talk.” I let the malicious smile spread as I cock my head to the side. “Didn’t Alex give you chlamydia last year?” Even in the moonlight, I can see her face pale. I lean in close so there’s no missing my words. “Yeah, I know about that. Seems your gyno spills secrets when he’s drinking my dad's vintage cabernet.”
She doesn’t say anything, and I’m pretty sure her heart has stopped beating.
“He also mentioned something about a condom stuck in your rectum freshman year?” Her mouth opens slightly, but there’s no air coming out. “It’s okay, it can happen to anyone. It’s just too bad it was with Mr. Whitlock. His wife must have been pissed when she found him trying to get it out.”
“Crew,” she says softly and swallows hard. “I—”
“Here’s what you’re going to do, Amber. You’re going to leave Celeste the fuck alone, and you’re going to leave me alone.” I lean back and tuck my hands into my jeans. “And then you’re going to keep your mouth shut, or I’ll blast your dirty laundry to every gossip rag in the country. This is an election year for your dad, so it would be really bad timing.”
Without another glance at her, I open the front door, and the music fills the silence. Up ahead, I see Jackson, and when he spots me, he points to the back deck. I nod my thanks and work my way through the sea of people. It still amazes me how he knows so many people and gets them to come to the island for parties.
Once I’m on the back porch, I look around for Celeste. It’s pretty crowded out here too, but not as bad as inside. There are rocking chairs on the back deck, and it’s terraced down to the lake. There are places to sit all around, so I have to do a couple of laps before I spot her. Then I see the twins hiding in the bushes behind her, and I have to hide my smile. I need to remember to thank them for a job well done.
Celeste and Emerson are talking with someone I recognize but who doesn’t go to our school. Craig or something, I can’t remember. He’s smiling at Celeste, and before I can move closer, he reaches out and places his hand on her bare leg.
“Hey!” I call out, and he looks up as his hand falls away. All at once, everyone out here turns toward me. But there’s only one person whose attention I want—the only one that matters.
When Celeste sees me, there’s a mixture of hesitation and relief on her face. I’m at her side in a nanosecond, and the guy is on his feet backing up.
“Crew, let me introduce you to my friend Craig. He goes to Southside,” Emerson says as he slides an arm around the guy's waist. Oh. “He came with me to the party tonight.”
I press my lips together and nod as the tension eases. “Nice to meet you,” I say, trying to calm down.
“You know, if I had a man that jealous of me, I wouldn’t let him go,” Craig says and winks at Celeste. “You two enjoy your evening.”
He and Emerson walk hand in hand back to the party, and I turn to Celeste.
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry.”
We both say it at the same time, and then she blushes as I smile at her.
“You came to the race,” I say, stepping closer to where she is.
“Yeah.” She shrugs like it’s not a big deal when it’s a very big deal.
The music is playing again, and everyone around us must have gone back to what they were doing.
“Thank you.” It’s the thing I feel strongest right now. Gratitude and relief that she’s still standing here in front of me.
“You’re welcome.”
She’s looking everywhere but at me as I take another step in her direction. We’re only about five feet apart, and if I wanted I could reach out and grab her. And god, how I want to do just that.
“We need to talk,” I say, and finally her eyes meet mine.